The Amityville Asylum

The DVD slipcase artwork is probably the best thing about this film. This film is so bad I'd rather watch the newest incarnation of Ghostbusters and that was an absolute pile of turd that robbed me of 2 hours of my life.

Low-budget, claustrophobic (shot indoors and confined spaces), chat-fest about a young woman who gets a cleaning job at a mental institution where she contends with intimidating and creepy staff (one guy, actually), seeing people that aren't there, and "ward X" for the criminally insane who talk to her while she's down there cleaning the hallway.

The premise of this would-be or can't-be horror movie is that the asylum is built on the same spot as the famous Amityville house of the 70's (ergo the title of the movie) and before that, earlier on in the 18th century, where witchcraft practicing native-Americans were murdered by Christians.

I did not have high hopes (ha, ha) going into this thing, but it struck me in the early go that the acting was actually quite good and the performers serious and convincing. So that kind of hooked me, got my hopes up a bit (ha, ha, again). About mid-way, after seeing a poorly executed mirror scene (a tradition in many horror movies) that was supposed to spook me, my hopes suddenly plummeted. I had found the weakness of this movie: The scenes that were supposed to scare you, horrify you, and gross you out (what little there was) were very amateurish and lame (weak). Reader, you're better off if you grab a chair, go to a window of your house and look out. I assure you that whatever you see will be as interesting as this movie. So why bother? Love, Boloxxxi.

Looked really good, and scary from the cover, and description, but it was absolutely the worst movie i have ever seen in my life ! But it made me laugh, with the terrible acting, bad directing, and script was so bad... no more words can describe how bad this was, now i will burn it, and dance all over the ashes of this DVD... totally ripped off, i want my cash back, and the 2 hours i wasted of my life watching this terrible film, i wish that i had just watched Barney, or mickey mouse. I would rather someone set fire to me, and burn my eyeballs off than for me to have to sit and watch it again. As for the sound track, it was like a 2 year old in a school class room.

After a seemingly never ending string of poor Amityville films the Brits step up to the plate and make one of their own.

This time set in a world where the infamous Amityville house has been demolished and upon the ground an asylum has been built instead (Which immediately makes no sense) A girl takes a job as a cleaner and witnesses strange things happening and questions both her own sanity and the motivations of those around her.

To be fair if you can get past how ridiculous the concept is it's not entirely terrible, sadly the film is.

The plot makes very little sense if any at all, the competence of the film makers is clearly there but not the extent where they could turn this around.

Poorly written and hardly an Amityville feature.

The Good:

Looks okay

The Bad:

Very dull

Plot is baffling

Concept is daft

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Christians getting tattoo's still makes me laugh

Nobody bothered telling the cast they were pronouncing Amityville wrong

I should have known when I saw "Amityville" in the title......

I thought the pace was iceberg-slow, the acting terrible and the plot didn't hang together. What was all that stuff about Lisa's mother? She was mentioned several times, but there was no real explanation as to how she fitted into the story. Then they threw in ghosts, presumably when they couldn't think what else to do. If you're going to do that, people, don't bring them on screen and then just dump them! Like the mother, you're left wondering as to their purpose. And just a small, silly point, but you tend to notice things when the film is irritating you - what was with Delaney, played by a British actor, who seemed to be sporting some sort of German or Middle European accent? Just asking.

Very disappointing.