Gangsters Gamblers Geezers

...how utterly terrible this is. The two 'stars' of this parade of juvenile, incoherent excrement also wrote and directed it, oh, and they co-produced it too. Of course this wasn't some sort of vanity project.

When they were sat, probably blind drunk, in the living room of the shared house that they live in they obviously thought that this was hilarious. They were wrong.

They managed to get Dave Courtney, Richard Blackwood, Jodie Marsh and that one out of Atomic Kitten (who isn't Kerry Katona) to star in it, but most of them would go to the opening of a crisp packet nowadays.

Other than that (if that wasn't bad enough) not a single moment of this works on any level. It's an attempt to crowbar in as many scenes which feature large breasts being flashed at the very unattractive 'lead actors', it makes no sense, there are fart noises on the sound track at one point and there is a scene which features a phone being dropped in to a toilet which went on for several weeks, or at least seemed to.

Watch this if only to make you realise that some people have way too much confidence in their own abilities. YOU could write a better screenplay, seriously, you really could.

Is there anything even slightly Ok about film?

Nope still speechless....

Viewed at a free screening and I felt ripped off.Infantile teen comedy knock off of Snatch & Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels. Written as a vehicle for forgotten about and wannabe "celebrities" with little to no acting experience and it shows.The badly cast caricature gangster theme is ridiculous to the nth degree,the villains attempting to be menacing but never quite managing to carry it off. I found some amusement from the gypsy gang but no doubt the stereotypical portrayal will be viewed as racist rather than funny by the traveling community. Professional fantasist Dave Courtney's performance as Terry is strangely unconvincing, I say strangely as he has been pretending to be a gangster for 25 years and still cant pull it off. If this truly had a budget of £1.8 million a cannot see where it was spent and feel for the investors. I cannot work out the target audience. primary school humour with a level of violence and offensive dialogue which precludes primary school kids from watching. I also feel compelled to warn others not to waste their time on this.

This film must have been created on a whim where the main protagonist 'Amar Adatia' had a school boys vision he'd make a movie one day. And this is what he made the minute he got a chance.

The movie (if i can even call it that) looks like something they quickly rustled up on the back of toilet paper.

All of it seems to be various comedy skits stitched together to try and make a movie. Rehashing of scenes they saw in other comedy movies they thought to replicate and just shove in this sad excuse of a plot. Not one part of it is funny. All of it cliché.

Seems like the entire cast (of which there are some familiar B/C- list UK faces) came on board as a favour to Adatia. Either that or he bribed them. Which may account for the alleged £1.8 million budget this movie professes to have spent. Where else did the money go? certainly wasn't on production value.

The movie looks like something that was filmed on an iPhone. In fact it seems like it was an experiment that was done on that a basis.

I cannot believe anybody involved in this film would think it anymore than a laugh at creating an amateur video for YouTube. Something for them to just privately snigger at. One that they done on a whim one week when feeling bored and nobody took seriously.

I think the crew who made this need to start at the basics of film making. Start off making 5 minute music videos. Progress onto making made-for-TV or internet programmes. And then perhaps progress onto short films and then full features.

Clearly the crew here hasn't learned their craft. I suppose they see this as a stepping stone to bigger better movies in future. But there was no redeeming talent here for anyone to think these are directors / actors we should look out for in the future.

This movie is an absolute dead entity. Should be looked at as nothing more than an experiment to see if they could make a coherent movie. They can at least now say: They cant!

I've had more fun watching paint dry.

This so called movie makes any children's school play look like an Academy award winner and if it wasn't for The Bad Movie Club Podcast I would have stopped watching after the 10 minute mark.

The whole cast isn't phoning it in, they are emailing in.

The plot is a ripoff of every British Gangster movie with hits of Office Space, Harold & Kumar and the ramblings of mad man.

So before you decide to watch this pile of rubbish, go and paint you bedroom and watch that instead because it's a lot less boring, way better acted and 100 % more entertaining.......