V/H/S/99

Let me start by saying I wasn't overly optimistic when I saw who the writers were. That, coupled with this year being such a huge letdown horror wise rang all kinds of alarm bells. Nonetheless, I still went with some expectations because it's VHS movie, so it has to be at least decent, right? Dead wrong.

I'm going to break it down by segments:

The only segment that was somewhat interesting (and I'm being very generous here), was The Gawkers. And by interesting I mean the ending of it. There's so much they could've done with it, won't spoil but you know which mythical creature I'm talking about here. We Summon The Darkness and Tragedy Girls were good so I'm not surprised this was the only segment that was decent. 5/10

Moving on, To Hell and Back was the second one in this movie. Subpar and below standards (4/10) but it wasn't outright catastrophic. Acting was good and it comes from same people who wrote Deadstream so it was watchable.

Shredding. I knew movie was going to suck when the first segment didn't deliver. I have no ide who Maggie Levin is except that she's known for The Black Phone (which was awful) and this didn't deliver either. There was no scare factor and it was extremely straightforward. Not overly bad, just kinda pointless. 3/10

Suicide Bid. I honestly have no clue why would anyone make this? It wasn't scary, wasn't interesting, there was no investment in character(s), just why? It was so blank and empty. 2.5/10 if I'm being generous

And finally - Ozzy's Dungeon. The worst segment I've ever seen in any VHS film. Absolutely horrendous and catastrophic in every single aspect. Have no idea who "Flying Lotus" is but this was so, so bad. Amateur level. 1/10

Overall, I have to give it a 3/10 because of two stories being watchable but that's as much as I can give. Such a shame another franchise is ruined by this. Horrible. I'm so disappointed.

I have to start by saying the main poster for this film featuring hell with the camera lense eyed face at the top is a truly great poster. It says in the trivia that after the success of 'V/H/S/94' this was rushed into production and it sadly feels that way a bit. It's not a bad entry in the series, however it isn't close to the best.

A brief analysis of the segments:

Shredding - Probably my least favourite segment. Not very creative and nothing new or memorable about it.

Suicide Bid - The stuff in the coffin was very claustrophobic and effective. The ending I could have down without, however a 'V/H/S' movie has to 'V/H/S'. All said, probably my favourite segment.

Ozzy's Dungeon - I thought I was really going to enjoy this one until it went down a completely different path to what I expected. There was so much potential and it was set up so well. Then it fell apart. Very disappointing.

The Gawkers - This one was decent. Spends a lot of time setting everything up and then it's over a little too quickly. This was a strong enough concept to get a full length feature out of.

To Hell And Back - I'm not sure how I feel about this one. The idea is a good one. The execution didn't quite live up to the concept however. It never really felt like they were in hell.

2/5 would get pass marks for me. I will give the overall film a 6/10.

VHS 1 & 2 are still easily the best. Then I'd say '94, then this or 'Viral' for last place. I haven't seen 'Viral' since it released because I remember it being just too terrible, but this one was pretty awful too. There was no suspense in any of the segments in this one, except for when the girl is buried in the cemetary, but that segment is ruined when the monster shows up and looks cheaper than if I made a monster mask out of paper and mud.

'94' at least had Raatma, which I hoped would return in '99' since Raatma was the standout segment, but no. The connecting story of this movie makes no sense, not that any of the 'VHS' connecting storylines made much sense, but this one is complete nonsensical trash.

As for the segments themselves, they were all bad. Almost all the segments were just lame campfire stories/urban legends that were lamely executed. This movie also lacked the gritty, gross and snuff-like feel that the best 'VHS' movies offered. Also, none of the kids in this acted or spoke like they were from the '90s, they sounded like your typical annoying Fortniters or Minecrafters.

The first 2 'VHS' movies (and even some bits of '94') had a vibe to them where you felt like you were going to end up as a segment for just watching such a nasty-looking cursed film. But for '99', I felt like sitting through it was worse than ending up as a segment. A step down from '94', and a giant leap down from 'VHS' 1 & 2.

Hands down the best part of this movie was a hilarious performance from Steven Ogg.

3/10.

I don't know what film the other reviewers watched but V/H/S 99 is the worst. Boring, predictable and God awful. I'm a huge fan of the first two, a little less with Viral and 94 but this film one will find in the bargin bin probably by days end. Tedious and hard to watch. Trust me on this, really bad. I had to take a break from it twice now and actually have it paused as we speak to write this review. From the opening short that ties the others together seems almost like a bad parody of the original to the others it's like making a wish for heaven and waking up in hell. I've been counting the days for the film to drop on Shudder and now I'm counting the minutes for the film to end. It's been a bleak year for horror films to live up to the hype, from Halloween Ends to Malignant, all have fallen short but V/H/S 99 really has surpassed in the disappointment level. Watch the original and spare yourself from this mess of a film.

Although not as good as the first 2 (blame Gareth Evans and Daniel Bruckner for making insanely good segments), this is the most I've enjoyed a V/H/S film since them. I personally found Viral to be terrible, and 94 was a mixed bag and had an awful overarching story.

To my surprise, they finally got rid of the overarching story part of the film, hooray! Only took them 5 films.

Segment 1 - Shredding (aka the band one) Probably my least favourite segment of the 5. Wasn't overly impressed with the visuals, and found the shaky cam annoying. Was slightly worried when this was the first one, since I'm sure these films usually start strong. 4/10

Segment 2 - Suicide Bid (aka coffin one) An improvement on the first segment, with the box reveal and aftermath being well done and creepy. Impressively filmed as well. Again though I wasn't very impressed with the makeup visuals. 6/10

Segment 3 - Ozzy's Dungeon (aka gameshow one) I was extra worried after the first two segments being underwhelming, but this segment was a large improvement. Was very disgusting, but entertaining. 8/10

Segment 4 - The Gawkers (aka snakes one) Not my favourite segment, but the reveal was enjoyable, although the teenagers were all very unlikeable so didn't provide too much entertaining viewing until the end. 5/10

Segment 5 - To Hell and Back (aka Mabel one) Easily the best segment. This segment is what boosts this movie in quality above Viral and 94. Great use of visuals and a great idea for a short story premise. Acting was great too. Really impressed by the actress who played Mabel who was also in Deadstream. Hope she collabs with the directors again. I would probably say only Safe Haven and Amateur Night would top this in the franchise. 9/10.

Above 5 average at 6.4/10, but I'll round up because I'm just happy they didn't do another overarching story. Bring on next years.