Jurassic Shark

This is perhaps the most appalling piece of art (lol) ever committed to celluloid, the acting, if you can call it that, consists of inane lines punctuated by silence while the mannequin imitating cast catch up and spout their increasingly dire reply.

The editing is a case history in how modern technology can be abused to turn a screenplay into a horror story (not for the content of the movie but for anyone viewing it who has in their life time graduated beyond watching a spinning toy above a child's cot (crib)).

From the total lack of acting skills this "thing" seems to be a product of someone who found a camera, asked a couple of friends to join in and then put together a script while eating at Chucky Cheese (or equivalent).

If those responsible ever read these reviews in future if your intending to make another movie, assuming you are not now working in a mall or a drive-thru, try to ensure the lighting is balanced, it looked like Jill (?) was having a torch shone in her eyes in the boat, and for the two girls at the start there is no need to have them splashing water at each other for 20 minutes and generally if your going to film in a stairwell again at least balance the light.

If you have nothing better to do for an hour or so (I am only 25 minutes in but stopped to write this )it is highly recommended as it truly has to be seen to be believed.

Now I have watched 1000's of films over the years and quite a few terrible ones.......but this film takes the biscuit in being bad.

From the first scenes of two girls chatting they use phrases such as 'you spaz' and 'what the f'......I just knew it was going to go downhill from thereon.

Terrible over-the-top acting, poor filming/photography, lame storyline and effects that could have been done using an 'etchasketch' pad !!! To sumarise.......think of the worst film you have ever seen, times it by ten and you are still not even halfway there on how diar this was ! It doesn't even deserve a 1/10..........it makes 'Jaws the revenge' seem like the best shark film ever, if you have seen that you will understand what I mean.

Poor acting, or lack of acting talent. Every persons in the film seem to lacking live out the roll. A fish-stick had done a better job. The roll gallery is a stereotypic one. The girl useless and can't do anything but being dumb and blond, but the guys have muscles and no brain. The most funniest scene have to be the rowing in the bout. I'm not gone tell why, but make up your own opinion.

It does not help the film that it suffer from a bad script. Poor dialog-lines combines withe terrible acting, constant contradictions makes it irritating to watch.

The special effects are terrible, something you recognize from poor B-films from the 1970 decade + a bit more terrible. The shark is not credible. It's all synthetic in the movements, the size, and it get 100% poorer because of the bad special effects.You know it is a fake.

Skip this film.

I was going to review this with all caps but ..... Don't Waste Your Time With This One. I've watched 1000's of movies and only a few have I quit watching before the end. This one is at the top of that list. Wooden acting? ... more like cement. Special effects? .... better ones could have been produced using MSPaint. Continuity? .... none that I could discern. Script and story? .... nope, didn't see any. I HAD to give it a 1 simply because there is no 0.

I have to admit that the actresses were pleasant to look at and did appear to be putting a genuine effort into their work. If this was a first film-making attempt I would be tempted to give this one a C+ for enthusiasm.

Don't waste your time. Rent Plan Nine from Outer Space instead.

Watched this last night, i was prepared for something bad, but this is on a completely new level of bad. There isn't a single good thing to say about this movie, other than, it is maybe an excellent lesson in how not to make a movie. What really amazes me about rubbish like this, is that someone must actually throw money at it to get it made, a classic case of more money than sense or a tax fiddle. I suppose one purpose of something this bad is that it gets people talking about it, hence my review/warning. Honestly, this isn't worth your time, i would stay well away, unless of course you like to watch a movie open mouth and constantly asking why, yeah we did ha ha.