Deadly Yoga Retreat

My goodness. This was an awful movie I just couldn't turn away. I just kept thinking of a movie just as bad or worse. A Night at the Roxbury. Chris Kattan would've played a better serial killer. All of these women become yoga "professionals" instructed by a ridiculous character? Who blows up in 5 seconds without even digesting the seafood? To sit around and put something together like this by so many people just blows my mind. Richard Simmons playing the yoga instructor and Amy Poehler should've played the leads. Now that would've made sense. The rest was just a complete mess. And yet for some reason i again wasted my time.

Lifetime original movies exist on a spectrum of quality, from the surprisingly genuine and worthy, to the hilariously over the top and fun, and everything in between. You never can tell just what you're about to get into, yet with a title like 'Deadly yoga retreat' this was all but certain to be memorable. I won't lie, I was unreasonably excited when I discovered that it was available in a place where I could watch it. Now that I've done so - one way or another, is it as good as I had hoped?

In my opinion this particular film falls somewhere in the upper middle. There are times, especially early on, when a scene just feels flat, not making any particular impression as it blandly advances the narrative, illustrates characters' personalities, and/or casually fills space. In these instance the feature rather lags, sadly, somewhat dampening the entertainment experience. This is unfortunate because, at its best, this is honestly a lot of fun! 'Deadly yoga retreat' succeeds most where it is completely unapologetic in being deliberately blunt, direct, and overcooked - and by that I mean, it's a laugh riot!

This primarily has to do with the preposterous characters, and the cast members who wholeheartedly embrace the exaggerated nonsense. I submit that the best role to land in a Lifetime thriller is the antagonist, because almost invariably the part invites the player to overact and proverbially (or sometimes literally) throw themselves around with total abandon. It is a true joy to watch Jonathan Bennett as intense instructor Remy, for his every expression and delivery is a master-class in conscious bluster. Only a small step down from the Lifetime Villain is the Lifetime Best Friend, and Sarah Ashley Rodriguez goes the distance in playing Pam as preposterous as a pal could be; were her outrageous performance not so plainly on purpose we would rightfully pooh-pooh the poor portrayal, but instead she only lends to the cheeky humor. Other cast members are allowed to demonstrate slightly more range by way of earnest acting or aiming for laughs, but rest assured that when it comes to death scenes, the latter intent rules the day. None of this is to count out the star, however, and the protagonist, from which commonly flows greater nuance, poise, and strength of personality, and Danielle C. Ryan is up to the challenge. I've seen her in a few movies at this point, and while there's no mistaking that she's far from an A-list celebrity, I think Ryan exhibits meaningful acting skill, and I hope she has bigger and better things coming her way.

Elsewhere the writing is less consistent, as suggested; the chief flaw here is that 'Deadly yoga retreat' oscillates too much between emphatically overblown B-movie and weirdly sincere, dark vibes. Still, the dialogue faithfully follows the same pattern, and the narrative is complete, cohesive, and suitably compelling by one means or another. Yes, there's some Movie Magic on hand that indifferently waves away real explanations for the killer's motivations, or how they've been able to get away with it, but we all take some things for granted in watching pictures. Maintain baseline suspension of disbelief here, and it's a blast! And on that note, aside from the characters and cast, it's the writing and orchestration of each scene that does most to make this as enjoyable as it is. Director Brian Herzlinger and his co-writers worked hard to ensure every passing moment feeds into the entertainment, whether it's pronounced violence and tension or playful kitsch, and despite the imbalance the end result is capably engaging and very satisfying.

To all this add gorgeous filming locations in Hawaii, excellent wardrobe, hair, and makeup, and crisp, impeccable cinematography. MJ Mynarki's original music is delightfully (overly) dramatic, contributing to the same self-aware atmosphere the picture otherwise mostly projects. From a standpoint of technical craft and the work of those behind the scenes the feature is solid. Naturally it's the other elements that are more important, but in my mind they're gratifyingly robust even in their imperfection. Among all the TV movies Lifetime has ever produced, 'Deadly yoga retreat' is the sort that stirs together effortful earnestness with willful wackiness, and between the screenplay, acting, and direction that aim is achieved. I can understand why this won't appeal to everyone, but if you're open to all that cinema has to offer and what this title specifically represents, then 'Deadly yoga retreat' is a really great time, and worth checking out!

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with this movie prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. And since it was a movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to give the movie a fair chance.

Writers Jay Black and Brian Herzlinger put together a rather generic and bland script and storyline. Sure, the movie was watchable, but it was a very forgettable movie, truth be told. The narrative just simply didn't have enough spice to it to make it a memorable viewing experience. And the pacing of the storyline was rather slow paced, and without a whole lot of interesting things happening as the narrative crept forward at a slow pace, it just was not a compelling movie to sit through.

It was pretty much devoid of thrills. There were a couple of kills throughout the course of the movie, but it was hardly enough to lift up the movie much.

Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, I was only familiar with actor Jonathan Bennett. I will say, though, that the acting performances in the movie were actually fair.

Watchable for what it was, but "Deadly Yoga Retreat" is a movie that came and went without leaving any kind of lasting impression. And this is definitely not a movie that will find its way back to my screen a second time. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for fans of the thriller genre to rush out and get to watch.

My rating of director Brian Herzlinger's 2022 TV movie "Deadly Yoga Retreat" lands on a three out of ten stars.

The lead that played Remy over acted through most of it. Danielle C Ryan was great as usual. She's the reasons I didn't give it one star. She was the only good thing about this movie. She's easily my favorite actor. Extremely underrated. Her character was much too smart to not see all the signs that Remy was crazy and evil. Not plausible IMO. Too many horny women at the retreat considering how hard it was to get in to. Also not plausible IMO. Most were too unserious. I've never given any of Danielle's movies less than an 8 I don't think. A few changes and it could have been great. Some changes in the story but mostly in the acting and directing. Worth watching if you can overlook a few details.

I want to preface this by saying that we love LMN movies in our house, it's the go-to channel for entertainment when we're not streaming something specific. And the dog likes LMN when we're not home, being a drama queen it suits him.

Sadly this movie, more specifically the acting, and the videography was horrendous. The male lead was so over-acted and unconvincing (I know, lots of LMN films have that in common but this was over the top terrible) that it came off as a comedy. That said, I personally would recommend watching it as long as you're not missing anything important like your firstborn's graduation, the unplanned humor is worth the 2 hours.