- Llewyn Davis: [on Please Mr. Kennedy song] Hey, look... I'm really happy for the gig but who... who wrote this?
- Jim: I did.
- Roland Turner: Solo act?
- Llewyn Davis: Yeah, now.
- Roland Turner: Now? Used to, what, work with the cat? Every time you play a C major, he'd puke a hair ball?
- Llewyn Davis: I used to have a partner.
- Roland Turner: What happened?
- Llewyn Davis: He threw himself off the George Washington Bridge.
- Roland Turner: Well, shit, I don't blame him. I couldn't take it either, having to play "Jimmy Cracked Corn" every night. Oh, pardon me for saying so, that's pretty fucking stupid, isn't it? George Washington Bridge? You throw yourself off the Brooklyn Bridge, traditionally. George Washington Bridge? Who does that? What was he, a dumbbell?
- Llewyn Davis: Not really.
- Jean: I should have had you wear double condoms. Well, we shouldn't have done it in the first place, but if you ever do it again, which as a favor to women everywhere, you should not, but if you do, you should be wearing condom on condom, and then wrap it in electrical tape. You should just walk around always inside a great big condom because you are *shit*!
- Jean: Do you ever think of the future at all?
- Llewyn Davis: The future? You mean like flying cars? Hotels on the moon? Tang?
- Jean: And this is why you're fucked.
- Llewyn Davis: No, it's why you're fucked. You're just trying to blueprint a future.
- Lillian Gorfein: This is not our cat.
- Llewyn Davis: What? Of course that's your cat.
- Mitch Gorfein: Oh, my God.
- Lillian Gorfein: It's not even male. Where's its scrotum, Llewyn? Where's its scrotum!
- Roland Turner: What's the "N" stand for? Lou N. Davis?
- Llewyn Davis: Llewyn. Llewyn, L-L-E-W-Y-N. It's Welsh.
- Roland Turner: Well, it would have to be something, stupid fucking name like that. You don't look Welsh.
- Llewyn Davis: Well, I could say we should talk about this when you're less angry, but that would be... that'd be... when would that be?
- Jean: Fuck you!
- Llewyn Davis: What is that? What are you doing?
- Lillian Gorfein: It's Mike's part.
- Llewyn Davis: Don't do that!
- Lillian Gorfein: It's Mike's part.
- Llewyn Davis: I know that it is. Don't do that. Oh well. You know what, this is bullshit. I'm sorry... I don't do this, okay? I do this for a living. It's not a, not a fucking parlor game.
- Llewyn Davis: Thank you, I appreciate it. I needed this, as you know.
- Cromartie: Yeah.
- Llewyn Davis: We'll be touring, right?
- Jim: [from across the room] Touring Uranus.
- Llewyn Davis: I'll get my vaccinations.
- Llewyn Davis: [On the bench, when Jean is blaming him for the pregnancy] Have you ever heard of the expression, "it takes two to tango"?
- Jean: Fuck you!
- Llewyn Davis: Well, I could say we should talk about this when you're less angry, but that would be - that would be - when would that be?
- Jean: Fuck you!
- Llewyn Davis: What is his thing?
- Jim: Huh?
- Llewyn Davis: Him. Troy.
- Jim: Wonderful performer.
- Llewyn Davis: Is he?
- Jim: Wonderful.
- Llewyn Davis: Does he have a higher function?
- Llewyn Davis: [to the crowd lining up outside the Gaslight Café] The show's bullshit. Four Micks and Grandma Moses.
- Roland Turner: [to Llewyn] I studied Santeria and certain other things that squares like you would call the black arts due to lack of understanding, from Chano Pozo in New Orleans. You say you'll mess me up? I don't have to make those childish threats. I do my thing and one day you wake up wondering: "Why do I have this pain in my side?" Or maybe it won't even be that specific. Maybe it's: "Why is nothing going right for me? My life is a big bowl of shit. I don't remember making this big bowl of shit." Meantime, Roland Turner is a thousand miles away, laughing his ass off. Think about that, Elwin. In this car, bad manners won't work.
- Jean: You don't want to go anywhere, and that's why the same shit's going to keep happening to you, because you want it to.
- Llewyn Davis: Is that why?
- Jean: Yes, and also because you're an asshole!
- Llewyn Davis: [talking to the cat] What's your name again?
- Llewyn Davis: [the cat escapes from him, through the window] Oh shit. No, no! Oh. Fuck, goddamnit, oh shit!
- Joy: Seen him?
- [their father]
- Llewyn Davis: Yeah.
- [pause]
- Llewyn Davis: What? Should I?
- Joy: You tell me, he's your father.
- Llewyn Davis: Yeah, he sure is.
- Llewyn Davis: I'm freezin. Can we talk?
- Jean: Not here. Fuck you.
- Llewyn Davis: I'm sorry, which? "Out" or "fuck you"?
- Llewyn Davis: Could you just tell him don't worry, Llewyn has the cat
- Receptionist: Llewyn is the cat?
- Jean: I'm sad? You're the one who's not going anywhere. You don't wanna get anywhere. Me and Jim try.
- Llewyn Davis: I wanna...
- Jean: We try, you sleep on the couch!
- Llewyn Davis: It's a bad thing to throw on my face, you know that?
- Llewyn Davis: Who is Arthur Milgrum?
- Al Cody: Oh that's me. I'm gonna change it legally, at some point.
- Elizabeth Hobby: This is my first time playing in New York...
- Llewyn Davis: [from the audience, drunk] How'd you get the gig, Betty?
- Troy Nelson: Mr. Grossman is a wonderful man. He's been very supportive. I played at his club in Chicago on my last furlough, right after I got back from Germany.
- Llewyn Davis: Did you meet Elvis?
- Troy Nelson: No. Everyone asks that. No, I did not meet Private Presley.
- Mel Novikoff: Ginny, where's Cincinnati?
- Ginny: What?
- Mel Novikoff: Cincinnati, it's not in here.
- Ginny: It should be in there.
- Mel Novikoff: It's not in here, I'm telling you. Is it...?
- Ginny: Cincinnati?
- Mel Novikoff: Yeah.
- Ginny: I got it.
- Mel Novikoff: What?
- Ginny: I got it.
- Mel Novikoff: You got Cincinnati?
- Ginny: Yeah, you want it?
- Mel Novikoff: Could I have it?
- Ginny: Should I bring it in?
- Mel Novikoff: Yeah.
- Llewyn Davis: Well, where were we?
- Jean: You were calling me a careerist and I was calling you a loser.
- Llewyn Davis: Right, well, those are your categories.
- Jean: No, those are your categories.
- Llewyn Davis: You know, in my experience, the world's divided into two kinds of people. Those who divide the world into two kinds of people...
- Jean: And losers?
- Llewyn Davis: Hey, look, I'm not a trained poodle.
- Lillian Gorfein: I thought singing was a joyous expression of the soul.
- Llewyn Davis: It's not my cat. I just didn't know what to do with it.
- Roland Turner: Really? So, did you bring your dick along too?
- Pappi Corsicato: Jim and Jean, we get a good crowd. You know why, Llewyn? Lot of these guys, a lot them come in here catch the act, because they wanna fuck Jean. That's why they come in. And some of them, some of these guys, Llewyn, they come in here because they wanna fuck Jim. They wanna fuck Jim. Know what I mean?
- Llewyn Davis: [singing] One of these mornings, It won't be long, You'll call my name, And I'll be gone, Fare thee well...
- Jean: To be clear. To be clear, asshole, you fucking asshole, I want very much to have it if it's Jim's. That's what I want. But since I don't know, you not only fucked things up by fucking me and maybe making me pregnant, but even if it's not yours, I can't know that. So I have to get rid of what might be a perfectly fine baby, a baby I want.
- Joy: So how's the music going?
- Llewyn Davis: Pretty good. Pretty good.
- Joy: Oh, good. So you don't need to borrow money.
- Llewyn Davis: What the fuck?
- Joy: Llewyn.
- Llewyn Davis: What?
- Joy: The language.
- Llewyn Davis: Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
- Joy: I am not one of your Greenwich Village friends.
- Llewyn Davis: Okay, yeah, yeah.
- Llewyn Davis: You don't know Mrs. Sieglestein, do you? Very, very big calves, orthopedic shoes, lives in Far Rockaway, upstairs from the Kurlands?
- Joe Flom: Does she play early music?
- Llewyn Davis: Harry James on the radio.