La maldición de Amityville

This movie was one of the worst waste of times I have ever had to sit through. Already from the very beginning, it was painstakingly obvious that this was going to be another delve into the likes of "Paranormal Activity" (which I didn't enjoy either).

But this movie? Come on! They take the Amityville name and then hype it up with one of these oh-so-great-and-oh-so-spooky documentaries, making it into a modern day version of the "Blairwitch Project". Yeah, great. Oh wait, except for it didn't working on any level.

The movie was an endless stream of really bad camera work, interrupted by this blackening-out screen and static sound whenever the entity was about to make something happen or make an appearance. What was up with that? I got thoroughly frustrated by the crappy camera work and the static sounds just added fuel to the fire called irritation with the movie.

"Amityville Haunting" is one of the most uneventful and frightfully boring movies I had ever had to sit through. Nothing even remotely scary happened throughout the entire movie, and I actually dozed off once or twice.

I am not a fan of movies of this caliber, and I didn't particularly enjoy any of the "Paranormal Activity" movies either, but checked them out because of the hype that was surrounding them. "Amityville Haunting", however, is just a cheap imitation of those movies, and then it is wrapped in a casing called "Amityville", a name that us horror fans will recognize from the early 80's.

"Amityville Haunting" was a sad excuse for a movie, and I wasn't the least bit entertained. If you are looking for a horror movie for the evening, or hoping to have at least a single scare, please, oh please, do pick another movie, because "Amityville Haunting" is just not worth it.

The actual film was a parody of paranormal activity and the Amityville Horror, although it is the 'same' house it is now in the suburbs rather than countryside... but we need not mention the finer details. I loved both the original and Ryan Reynolds version of Amityville Horror so I thought that I would give it a chance regardless. It's not the same story or even a good sequel. It's shot like Paranormal Activity and seems to be an improv situation as no one really seems to know what to say. They try to add narrative with a child and a video camera who feels it necessary to annoy everyone in the film with the camcorder and me with his recap of each bad 'horror' segment. Where as in PA (which I did like) the characters seem scared... Not this kid, as he says things are 'really creepy'- Yes Tyler (or whatever generic name you have) it is actually if I was you I'd be like maybe we shouldn't be here rather than worry about your future career in documentaries.Although, he may get a job in one as he can't act.

This films acting I have got to say is pretty bad... really bad. I will watch films that give chance to new/young actors but I genuinely think they found these people on the street. I don't mean to offend but the emotions come across as if they were taken out of a labelled jar. The actors don't morph as a cast and the Dad's tone from the start makes me think that they casted him because he has the attitude of a serial killer with a slow mono-tone voice, and thats pretty much it.

I wanted to like this film due to my likings of any horror with a half decent storyline and OK effects. But even as low budget I cannot see any need for this film... No one is going to get a career from this.

Please note: I didn't realise THE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING was produced by The Asylum before I purchased it, otherwise I might have had second thoughts. This turns out to be a found footage twist on the whole AMITYVILLE HORROR franchise, which inevitably rips off just about every found footage movie in existence.

The main "inspiration" behind this film is, clearly, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, although this movie makes that film look like a masterpiece in comparison. Everything about it is horrible: the acting, the style, the distinct lack of a story, in which the writer just throws everything into the mix in an attempt to make something stick (nothing does). So we get ghostly kids, intruders, doors opening on their own, murders. It's all ludicrous.

The film's main character is a kid, and about half the running time seems to consist of him pointing the camera at the floor while his parents argue; this doesn't make for a good use of screen time. Instead, I was bored witless by it. The only thing that kept me watching was the bad acting of the father, which was pretty amusing. There's quite a bit of incident in the last five minutes (none of which makes much sense) but it comes far too late in the game to make THE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING an interesting film.

The Amityville Haunting was yet another movie filmed in the ultra- irritating 1st person style. The title has the word haunting in it, which to a lay-man like myself, lends itself to indicate there might be a chance you will be scared. I can only tell you there is no such scene. Sadly, this was an awful movie; there was so much script material, and different avenues that could have possibly been explored. Yet, the writers and Directors failed to follow any type of format that would resemble a professional movie; you might say, whatever does he means. Well, allow me to expand, this movie was filmed in such a way, that we are to assume that a child filmed it, really! Why, would anyone want to pay to see a film that has no plot, flow, professionalism, or natural progression, nothing! Yes, I am slightly perturbed, I actually was rooting for this whole family to be mutilated, and that's how annoying this movie was. I rooted and kept thinking to myself: I can't wait for this annoying kid with the camera to get it!

My Amityville binge has led me to this, a found footage movie set in a world where Amityville has been recognised, made into movies and books and yet another family moves into the infamous house anyway.

As with all found footage films very little happens and this is 80 minutes of sheer unadulterated boredom.

What makes it worse (If that's possible) is that it's not even the Amityville house despite being said multiple times that it is. Both inside and out that becomes blatantly apparent and really is seven shades of stupid.

So we have shaky cam, we have night vision cam and we have the obligatory handicam filmed by someone who absolutely positively has to record everything for some reason.

In true Amityville style people change, folks turn on each other and yet somehow this is the worst one yet.

The Good:

It ended, that bit was good

The Bad:

That had to be the least sexy sex scene since the zombie humping in Braindead (1992)

NOT the Amityville house

The "Warning" real footage thing is getting dumb

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

The fact that there are no opening credits, no closing credits and therefore everyone involved is uncredited screams volumes

Someone should really trademark Amityville so Joe Talentless can't keep adding it to his film