- Edie: What do you mean Humpty Dumpty was an egg? How can a person be an egg, Cotton? How can a person be an egg?
- Cinema Snob: Congratulations. It's the first exploitation movie for five-year-olds. This is the movie equivalent of trying to entertain me by dangling keys in front of my face.
- Edie: But is it true, Babs? If there weren't any chickens, there wouldn't be any eggs? Is that true?
- Divine/Babs Johnson: [chuckles] I suppose so, Mama. But there will always be chickens. You can be sure of that.
- Edie: But suppose someday it happens? Suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Oh, Babs What could I possibly do?
- Cinema Snob: This is not the sign of a good exploitation movie if the conversation you were having would make just as much sense if you were talking to Elmo.
- Sandy Sandstone: You're a real cunt, you know that? A real fucking cunt! How can you be so shitty to people? How can you stand yourself?
- Cinema Snob: I'd wash this movie's mouth out with soap, but I'd rather give this bar of soap a more dignified death, like scrubbing my asshole!
- Crackers: Their bedroom. Their fuck chamber itself.
- Divine/Babs Johnson: Oh, this is where they mate, Crackers. Right here on this very bed. This is where they touch their uninspired little organs together, vainly trying to charge their worn-out battery of filthiness.
- Cinema Snob: I know. They're so gross right?
- [pause]
- Cinema Snob: You're gonna fuck your son, aren't you?