Xanadu Hellfire

My my, didn't the fancy dress shop do well.

In no particular order.- The one thing I will give this movie credit for is that it is very self aware. It does at least know that is a micro budget, fantasy nonsense flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.

The acting is terrible. Sorry boss ladies, back to acting school.

The script and plot are, well, mostly harmless is is the polite way of describing it.

The editing is terrible. The direction is, first day at film school-bad. And the the least said about the cgi, the better.

All this being said, it is fun. Silly, really stoooopid fun. Best watched with a crate of anything that isn't Bud Light.

So, I'm a huge fan of Bloodsucka Jones, and Bloodsucka Jones Vs. The Creeping Death. This is the 3rd film by the Nitwit Consordium and is alot of fun. The kids who arenin the film, do a really good job and they don't come across as annoying or like they are reading their lines at all. Xanadu and Raven emote really well and feel like fleshed out characters. This scii Fi epic lives up to being called a Sci Fi epic. I just want Bloodsucka Jones and Xanadu do be in a film rogether now. The jokes in here are extremely funny, and this is the most fun with a film, I've had since Bloodsucka Jones Vs. The Creeping Death! Now I'm gonna eat Badass sized Tsunami Burger awww Yeah!

In this day and age of Independant films, horror is king. You don't see many science fiction or fantasy films, which is why I was intrigued when my friend Erica Kauffman told me about this film, called Xanadu Hellfire. Its her film debut where she plays a warrior from another world.

The film starts out with the title character (played by Macy Minear) as a beautiful nomad warrior wandering the desert (which has some cool mad max vibes) when she comes upon your typical evil villain with two henchmen who will come to be known later in the film, a fight ensues but with a dialogue that isn't of your regular genre film...its more modernized and funny.

In fact, it fits the film in a strange way as it continues throughout the entire picture. Once the nomad warrior wins she then returns back to her village, where lives a collective of characters viking-like, lizardmen, scarecrow-men and human alike. This is where her sister, Raven Hellfire (played by Arianna America) and her must fight for the honour of their mother's throne but...

Here's the twist, its a comic book read by an adorable, foul mouthed, feisty, eight year old girl named Ruby (played by Aria Surrec) and she is so in love with these characters and their world at on her 9th birthday she begs her father, Steven (played by Ryon Thomas) to go out to the desert and try to bring "Xanadu Hellfire" into the real world using what is called a "Millennium Staff". Ruby and Steven have some of the best on screen chemistry as father and daughter, they are just too cute and it really is sweet to see them interact we each other. Another person in Ruby's circle is her best friend, Becky (played by Chloe Sligar) who is also a mini badass, as well as a foul mouthed little cutie who is a scene stealer.

So Ruby succeeds in bringing Xanadu to 2022 from 2097, but also in doing so she also unleashes an evil upon the world in the form of Raven, Sonja (played by Libby Wahlmeier), and Valeria (played by Erica Kaufman) is sent to bring her back Unbeknownst of the evil that is seeking them, Xanadu's new friends begins showing her all the "cool things" on this new version of earth. One of the great things about this film is "Bloodsucka Jones" cameo in the burger joint, its too damn funny and if you are a fan of the films you will love it!!

Once Valeria and Sonja arrive on earth, they are given powers which they unleash on the citizens as they attack the town. Eventually, Ruby, Brad The Geek, Xanadu, & Steven wrangle up some friends and some strange local characters to take down the evil duo which leads to a standoff at the local high school until Raven shows up leading to the ultimate battle in the desert (which include hugs and Dokken Tickets) and saving the day.

This film is so much fun to watch!! It has something that everyone can enjoy, the movie itself oozes of vibes from all kinds of movies from Mad Max, Psycho Goreman, The Karate Kid, Conan, & Clerks.

Xanadu Hellfire is one of those movies that somewhat defies description and it took a surprisingly long time for me to decide upon a title summary that did it justice.

So, without spoilers, what is Xanadu Hellfire about? Well, the title character Xanadu is a powerful female warrior from a desolate future dystopian desert wasteland with sweeping vistas, wandering tribes and imagery like Mad Max. Through a magic portal, she is drawn into our time. She becomes a friend and mentor to 8 year old Ruby and her single father that evokes the feel of The Karate Kid. As might be expected, trouble follows her from the future into our world and she, and her new friends have to try and save their town and put everything right again. At this point, the movie is reminiscent of both Dungeons and Dragons and the movie Clerks, all rolled into one.

There are so many elements to cover so I will first start off by addressing some of the things I didn't like about the movie before moving onto some of the things I absolutely loved.

OK, so what's not to like? First, the initial premise was a little wonky. Xanadu herself is setup to exist in a dystopian future near the end of the 21st century. Back in our time, Ruby and her close friend Becky are both obsessed with comics that detail the legendary adventures of this Xanadu character. How on Earth did Xanadu become legendary if she wasn't going to be even born yet for 50 more years? Surely, it would have made more sense for Xanadu to have been a heroine from the distant past and hence why she was a legend in the comic books?

Next, there was very little plot, urgency or stake in the movie for the audience. The actions of both the protagonists and antagonists have very little real consequences. Indeed, rather like the A-Team, there can be massive destruction and nobody gets hurt. I believe this would appeal more to a younger audience where they can appreciate the adventure without giving it too much thought. Indeed, the primary target appears to be 10 year old girls who I think would especially love the plot and characters.

This brings me to the third and final negative aspect of the movie. It does not appear to know who it's target audience is. Although the plot is simplistic and tailored to a younger audience, it is filled with swearing and less than savory language. Personally, I found the language believable in context and was not offended by it. Indeed, I found it hilarious. However, I can definitely see some parents struggling with showing the movie to their young children with the amount of "colourful" vocabulary the children use, flipping off people etc.

OK, so what's to like about this movie? Wow. So very, very much.

First, the movie is visually beautiful. As the movie opens, we get to see epic vistas of the dystopian wasteland filmed from overhead with a drone. The costuming of the different warrior factions is varied and colorful and truly impressive given the micro budget this indie movie was filmed with.

Next is the music score. During fight scenes, sweeping vistas, training montages and more, we are enveloped in rich and vivid music that feels like it is from a Lord of the Rings movie. At a couple of points including the closing credits, we get some amazing heavy foot pumping metal from Benjiphonik.

The acting of all the major characters was also solid (although some of the support characters not so much). Aria Surrec (Ruby) and Chloe Sligar (Becky) perfectly play off each other as 8 year old friends who take no nonsense. Ruby's father (Ryon Thomas) also makes believable the cool dad doing his best and the chemistry between them is perfect and really makes you feel they might be a real family. Likewise a similar great chemistry exists between Xanadu and her sister Raven.

The movie is one, non stop, comedy fest of visual humor and one liners, Is it ridiculous? Absolutely. But I found myself laughing nonetheless and you likely will too. I loved the cameo role of Bloodsucker Jones from the movie of the same title.

The thing, above all that I loved about the movie was it screamed female empowerment. Every major character (bar the dad of course) was a strong female role model (or kick ass villain). The characters of Ruby and Becky were an absolutely unstoppable team and would take no crap from bullies or anyone. Xanadu showed that you can be a tough skilled warrior but still keep a kind spirit and innocent appreciation of the world. Her own mentor in the training montages was a skilled martial artist. Raven played a believable but likeable villain. Her two henchmen (henchwomen?) played comic relief to her "straight guy". Even they were wielding massive power. Essentially, the movie very much drove home the point that, as a woman, you can be anything you want to be.

In summary, the movie is well filmed and targeted mostly to a younger audience. The language is questionable but also hilarious. The visuals are awesome with the soundtrack even more so...and women can do anything they set their mind to!

And this is one of those films. I had the pleasure of meeting the man who put this together and am so glad to watch the movie. It is definitely lower budget but looks and feels amazing for it. It's cheesy in the best way and serious when it needs to be. I will be showing this film at several parties coming up and it is an instant classic in my book. Can't wait to see the Bloodsucka Jones movies tonight!! Hearing the backstory of how this is almost an ode to the original Xanadu only added my instant joy as that is one of my favorite films. The kids cussing in here only adds to the delight but it is very appropriate and I've heard many kids in my teaching career say much worse. Keep up the good work and I'm hoping there is another new one next year for me to enjoy. Thanks so much for a great evening!!