Secretos mortales

I thought this could've been something scary. There actually were some 10 minutes where I was quite scared, but after that first moments of suspense, the rest got too generic and predictable. I did watch it through to the end, although I was tempted to quit more than once.

The storyline is pretty old and I bet you've already seen it in a few other movies yourself:

• A group of people are trapped in some place or another (in a cottage in the woods, on a boat, in some old castle or warehouse) - Someone or something evil is set loose

• group tries to escape but mysterious things prevent them form escaping

• instead of staying together, some girl will separate from the others and follow a creepy noise into a dark place ("hello? is there anybody out there in that creepy forest / tunnel / cave? Maybe the psychopath that killed my boyfriend / husband / friend 10 minutes ago?")

• another girl will try to run away, being chased, then trip over nothing, and stay there screaming while "the evil" hunts her down etc.

You know those ingredients - you've seen them often before.

The only thing new here to me was the setting in an underground self-storage, which I thought had some original ideas that served those few scary moments.

I feel kind of sorry for the director. It feels like this is the desperate (but futile) attempt to fulfill his lifelong childhood dream of producing a super scary blockbuster. In a "i can do it" and "nobody can stop me" brute force way, he tries to patch up all those holes in the illogical and inconsistent story just to quickly get to the end.

If you don't watch this - you won't be missing out on anything...

This wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't for the clichés and some of the actors (for various reasons, either while they probably can't do any better or because their roles have been underwritten). Take Mischa Barton: She was "working" perfectly in OC, but since then has not found a place in the "acting"/movie business.

But while the movie does pack a punch or two (the ending is either too good for the movie or will annoy you, because the movie seemed to go to a different place), the overall feeling gets undermined by many factors, another one being the script/dialog. It's a shame really, especially considering all the places this could've gone (no pun intended)

You'll probably enjoy this more if you're open to cheeseball horror-comedy. It isn't a cheeseball horror-comedy - not quite - but it definitely plays better if you can roll into that mindset, and might have been a better movie if it were.

I sat through the first hour thinking this was a good premise marred by bad decisions. The dialogue is clunky, there are plot holes, Officer Cliché's unnecessary sideplot is a whole mess, characterization is all over the place, what are motivations anyway, etc.

But then that reveal hits, and I cackled with utter delight through the last 20 minutes. I would gladly watch the whole thing again with friends to watch them when that moment arrives, which makes it a good enough film for me despite the aforementioned flaws.

Your basic creepy creature veers into something else. It's low budget and shows but everyone does their job well enough and there's some genuine eeew and yuck moments. Odd, mixed bag of a cast. Mischa Barton is becoming a familiar face in low budget horror. It's okay certainly not terrible.

Started out okay but quickly degenerated into the characters making progressively dumber decisions, as per the usual formula. The "twist" in the film was beyond ridiculous and pretty much just felt like a cheat. Cap it with an incredibly stupid ending, and The Hoarder goes from a somewhat below-average horror film to a must-avoid-at-all-costs stinker. The early attempts in the film to establish atmosphere are about the only positive things I can say about it.