Love at the Lodge

Liam and Emma are classic opposites as city mouse and country mouse. Emma makes it clear she wants to make partner instead of find a partner. Liam's for the birds, Emma's for the business and when she tries to get in his business, he thinks about getting busy with her. When things get real at the retreat, they both retreat to their own corner. In this remote part of the world it appears the chances of these two getting together is pretty remote... but not zero. A unique setting and many little surprises along the way make this well above average in this genre. A great cast and a very organic plot makes for a wonderful movie.

I cant quite explain it. Its like the most bland, mediocre, nothing-burger of movie I've ever seen, and yet it hurts to witness. It's like the movie equivalent of a walking corpse, imitating life poorly, and dipping right into the uncanny valley.

The actors aren't particularly bad or good. I think they read the lines they were given well enough. Its not their fault the story is mind numbingly cliché, and yet also feels like it was written by an alien who learned about humans by watching a single hallmark romcom on a turbulent delta airline flight next to a screaming child.

The camera work is far too high definition for its own good. I can see every actor's individual pores, ingrown hairs, acne, and sweat. Its like they tried to compensate for the lack of talent with higher quality cameras, but instead it just highlighted every flaw and cringe in 4k ultra high def 60fps under hot studio lights.

I cant quite put my finger on it, but something about every scene made me uncomfortable. Maybe it was the sterile, empty, corporate backdrops, or the wooden actors, or the unrealistic pacing, but I felt the film chipping away at my soul every second it held my gaze.

The story is too bland to even mention, so I wont.

I just couldn't bare that the only 2 reviews in existence for this movie were positive when it hurt me so badly.