- Nadine: You know, ever since we were little, I would get this feeling like... Like I'm floating outside of my body, looking down at myself... And I hate what I see... How I'm acting, the way I sound. And I don't know how to change it. And I'm so scared... That the feeling is never gonna go away.
- Nadine: There are two types of people in the world: The people who naturally excel at life. And the people who hope all those people die in a big explosion.
- Nadine: What the... why is that baby in your house?
- Mr. Bruner: Oh shit! How the hell that thing get in here?
- Mr. Bruner: [reading a text sent by Nadine to a boy she has a crush on] "You're complicated, and simple, and I feel this connection between us. I feel like I already know you." This is kinda sweet, I think you're overreacting. "I just want to be with you. I want to give you... head. I want you to put your mouth on my tits. I want to feel you inside me. We can do it in the Petland stockroom."
- Nadine: Say something... Oh my God, say something! Please, help me!
- Mr. Bruner: You need to watch out for run-on sentences.
- Mr. Bruner: Wow. I actually was writing my own suicide note just now. I have 32 fleeting minutes of happiness during lunch, which has been eaten up again and again by the same especially badly dressed student, and I finally thought I would rather have the dark nothingness.
- Mr. Bruner: Look, I'm not very good at this kinda thing. But I think we both know what needs to be said right now. So, I'm just gonna come right out and say it.
- [pause]
- Mr. Bruner: Get out of the car.
- Nadine: You know what? I'm gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna tell you the real reason I'm having my lunch with you today. You see, I don't really have any friends, at the moment, and, to be completely honest with you, I'm not interested. At all. My entire generation is a bunch of mouth breathers. They literally have a seizure if you take their phone away for a second, they can't communicate without emojis, and they actually think that the world wants to know that they are "eating a taco, exclamation point, smiley face, smiley face", like we give a fuck. I... am an old soul. I like old music, and old movies, and even old people. I have nothing in common with the people out there, and they have nothing in common with me.
- Mr. Bruner: Nadine?
- Nadine: Max?
- Mr. Bruner: Maybe... nobody likes you.
- Nadine: [pause] You're a dick.
- Nadine: Hey.
- Mr. Bruner: Busy.
- Nadine: I don't wanna take up a ton of your time, but I'm gonna kill myself. I just thought an adult should know.
- Darian: You're right about everything. I'm only here for me, and my life is fucking incredible. I love it. I love spending another night talking Mom off the ledge, I love only applying to schools nearby, because who knows what'll happen in the house if I'm not around to fix it, and I love...
- [getting choked up]
- Darian: that the one person who makes me feel like I could take a fucking breath... I can't have without completely destroying you. So, you're right. You're right, it's a blast. I win.
- Nadine: It's a big house. You're bored. You know what you need? You need someone to rob you so you can reenact home alone.
- Mona: Here's what I do when I'm feeling down. I get very quiet and very still. And I say to myself, "Everyone in the world is as miserable and empty as I am. They're just better at pretending." Try it sometime. It might bring you some peace.
- [Nadine is sleeping at the desk in an empty classroom]
- Mr. Bruner: [whispering] Nadine!
- [taps at her temple with his finger]
- Mr. Bruner: Nadine...
- Nadine: [Sleepily, eyes closed] Hmm?
- Mr. Bruner: Hey... Wake up. You had a brain operation. It worked! They've made you pleasant and agreeable.
- [Nadine looks at him annoyed]
- Mr. Bruner: Ah, just wishful daydreaming. The bell rang. Leave. Please.
- [first lines]
- Nadine: Look I don't wanna take up a ton of your time, but I'm gonna kill myself. I just thought someone should know. I don't really know how this works. I'm probably gonna jump off an overpass in front of a semi, so... Or U-Haul, maybe, just not a bus. I'm not gonna be a dick and make people watch, but it has to be big; it's gotta be so big that it just...
- [snaps her fingers]
- Nadine: Done; kills me. Lights out. 'Cause if it just maims me, and I'm like...
- [imitates differently abled person]
- Nadine: Well then how's that good for anyone? Then I gotta find a nurse to smother me. How am I gonna get across *smothering* if I'm...
- [imitates differently abled person again]
- Nadine: We don't need to get caught up in the minutia; I just thought that an adult, s- you should know.
- Mr. Bruner: Wow. This is, uh... A lot to take in, Nadine; I- I wish I knew what to say. Well, I was actually drafting my own suicide note just now.
- Nadine: [writing a text to a boy she has a crush on] Nick, I'm just gonna say it, I like you. I've liked you for months. I think about you every second. I don't know, maybe I even love you. You're so complicated, but simple, and I just feel this connection between us, I feel like I already know you, and I just want to be with you. I want to give you head, I want you to put your mouth on my tits, I want to feel you inside me... We can do it in the Petland stockroom. - Nadine.
- [pause]
- Nadine: Oh my god. Oh my god.
- Nadine: [to herself] You sound like a fucking psychopath. You can't send this.
- [She accidentally sends the text]
- Nadine: What? No. Shit... Oh my god. Oh my god, no way, no, no, no way, no. FUCK! Oh my god! Shit!
- Young Krista: Once, my grandpa's pajama flap accidentally came open, and I saw his wiener and got real sad.
- Mr. Bruner: Are you having a problem today, Nadine?
- Nadine: Several. I don't really have any friends at the moment.
- Nadine: Nick, I like you. I want you to put your mouth on my tits. We can do it in the Petland stockroom.