Scary or Die

Lured by the cover art to think I was in for a killer clown movie, the Creepshow-esque hand that clicked on the scaryordie website in search of a good horror clip made me realize that this was an anthology.

I haven't bothered to check if all segments were directed by different directors, but what they lack in a unifying theme, they make up with style. The general vibe is old-school, with enough blood to keep the viewer happy but no outright gore or torture. The set-ups are also classic : zombies, vampires, devil cults and the aforementioned killer clown. Segments range from 10 to 30 minutes, with no twists. The story lines are straightforward to a point and do not try to add to any mythos. But they all deliver with elegance and a lot of promise.

Because none of the sketches tries hard to surprise you, they're better left at their short running time, which is enough to be impressed by the directorial styles displayed. This explains why the Clown segment, the longest in the anthology, is also the weakest. It outstayed its weak set-up. The first and last segments, both tales from the undead, are also the slickest and nicely round up this hodgepodge of atmospheric, but almost too respectful quickies.

Horror movie made in 2012, consisting of 5 short stories. The movies are zombie, vampire and clown themed.

In the first movie, a woman and two strange men are driving down the road in a pickup truck. These are American nationalists. I think this is the weakest part.

In the second movie, a man is looking for a love for himself. During this search, he sees a kidnapped woman. This episode isn't bad.

In the third story, a man carries a body in the trunk of his car. Another weak episode.

The fourth story is about the man who was attacked by a clown at his brother's birthday party. Not bad.

The fifth and final story is about a woman who loves to death. This isn't bad either.

I was very hopeless. I was going to close it in the first episode. But it wasn't bad.

There is no nudity in the movie, but there is sexuality in the first episode.

The main story, Clown, I didn't think was ever so good.

With all the stories, you know what was going to happen, but they were entertaining nonetheless.

Harks back to the days of the Horror anthologies such as Tales from the Crypt and Tales from the dark side.

The stories twists are rather predictable, in keeping with the anthologies of old, pretty shallow, lacking in substance and explanation.

There are one or two moments that make you wince slightly, but that's it, without them this would be the stuff TV Horror is made of.

Initially I thought it was a collection of short films strung together, until the cast started crossing over from one story to the next.

Watchable, but not worth dedicating your movie night to.

To be fair, if you are looking for a scare, I'd look elsewhere.

I generally love horror anthologies but this one is rarely worth your time. Only one of the five segments deserves mention, the longest one, Clowned. The other four, while not really terrible given the films very low budget, doesn't really stand out and are almost never scary or original.

Usually, these types of films comes with a wrap-around sequence which makes the whole mess coherent, but this one opted not to give us that satisfaction.

I'll still watch any horror anthology I can get my hands on, because if one of the segments aren't satisfying, it's pretty fast on to the next one. Same goes here, where, besides aforementioned Clowned, no segment is longer than 15 minutes. And I'm glad they weren't.