The Catechism Cataclysm

This film sat on my Netflix queue for a long time before I finally got around to watching it. Perhaps I should have waited longer. Then, perhaps, I would understand what it was all about. I know the film was supposed to be funny, but ultimately I think the joke was on me. In the film, an absurdly childish priest Father William, played by an unbelievably annoying Steve Little, is forced to take some time off by his superiors. He decides to contact his high school idol Robbie Shoemaker, played by Robert Longstreet, to take a little trip with him. Robbie agrees for no good reason. The two meander down a river on a raft purposelessly and seeming endlessly until you start praying for something, anything to happen. It does when two Japanese tourists and their black bodyguard show up. Sadly, what happens doesn't make any sense either. I have no idea what the filmmaker intended. Steve Little was simply too absurd for the film play as meaningful religious satire. I am giving the film three stars for the soundtrack. John R. Butler's sacrilegious ditty, Hand of the Almighty, is almost worth the price of admission.

As a practising Catholic, I can guarantee no Catholics were consulted in the making of this movie. If this is how atheists see religious people, no wonder there is great ridicule involved.

From the priest who constantly wears his collar including on a canoe trip, to his naive, dorky nature, this movie couldn't be further from reality. I could go on and on how this is offensive and completely inaccurate but I no longer want to waste any more time thinking of this waste of 80 minutes of my life.

I should have known better than to continue with the movie when I saw a burning Pentagram before the actual movie even started.

Spare yourselves and stay as far away from this as you can.

I've learned that most people don't like to be confused by the movies they watch. They don't like to have to think about things too deeply, and get reeeeallyy p*ssed off when a movie "has no ending." To the viewer who pretty much lives for movies fitting that description, do yourself a favor and watch this. Don't pay attention to the trailer, this is not a summer buddy movie. It's not slapstick. Don't prep your diaphragm for fart jokes (although yes technically they exist). Be ready for something that makes no sense, but also be ready for that fact to be a little inside joke(which paradoxically *makes* it make sense). Also, please don't be too religious or catholic before viewing.

I really wanted to laugh and I did at the first scene with the old lady with the gun and the narration by Father Billy telling a story to his parishioners. Unfortunately, it's all down hill from there.

The good father takes a vacation with a guy(Robbie) from his school days on a canoe down a river. Robbie had dated the priests sister many years earlier. While rafting they exchange stories which go nowhere and stop ashore to drink beer. Then two Asian women appear with a man they call Tom Sawyer and we quickly turn from comedy to science fiction. No need to give away the ending, suffice it to say that it is completely ridiculous. What could have been an interesting movie is just a waste of time.

It's sad when the most memorable part of a movie is the closing credits song (in this case, "God will F*** you Up", Hilarious) Steve Little is Not an actor, and his attempts in this movie are truly cringe-worthy. You start snickering not because he's funny, but because like a bad traffic accident, you can't look away. It's always a bad sign when you come across as potentially having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and his character manages it in this.

I caught this on Netflix, and that's the only reason I ever saw this train wreck of a movie, and trust me, you will not want to waste your time on it.