Amsterdam Heavy

OK. Cred for producing a film for just half a million. But....

Is this like the banking crisis? Does the production team sit through an early cut and say "Well, we spent all the money, so we HAVE to release it, even though it sucks".

Because if they thought this bit of rubbish was any good, someone wasted their money.

Michael Madsen. You know what? Because it was a solo piece he could have, (maybe did?), shot at home, he does a halfway decent job.

No-one else is worth anything. Dialogue, direction, acting, and - omg - fight direction - all suck. In spades.

And while I'm on it.... 4 positive reviews, all from people who've never reviewed anything before. Is there NO WAY IMDb can do something about this?

No way this even strays into 'so bad its good' territory.

Its just bad. Save your time and money.

Thumbs up for making it for half a million. If they recover even half, it'll be down to the highly mis-representative trailer.

When I watch movies about big, angry, bald men who beat up everyone else in the movie, I'm willing to overlook a lot of things: plot, characterization, acting, SFX, etc. All I really ask for is good fight choreography and stunts. Unfortunately, this movie really sucks in that department. Also, the director really isn't very good at directing action scenes, either, so they end up being rather boring. As if all that isn't enough, the movie constantly resorts to filler in order to pad the run-time -- half of the scenes take place in strip clubs. I guess if you're a teenage male, that might be a potential positive, but I don't understand why you'd sit through this bad movie just to see a few breasts when you've got access to the internet.

You're better off just re-watching old Bruce Lee movies. As an added bonus, you generally get much better plot and acting, too.

Amsterdam Heavy pitches itself as an action movie with Michael Madsen. But where is Madsen???? He only appears in the first three minutes of the movie. Madsen isn't a lead actor, not even a supporting one but just a guest star. So the trailer was misleading as hell.

Storywise: it was okay, the concept was good, but the dialogs were awful and that you have to blame the screenplay for it. One other thing that disturbed me is that it seems that in Amsterdam they all speak English instead of Dutch.

Acting: Apart from Madsen they all suck pretty hard. Worst cast of the year. Bunch of students trying to act.

Action: Where was the action? Literally? You see they are fighting but you never see the kicks or punches. Lammest thing ever. Special for an action film done in 2011.

Amsterdam Heavy is a very bad movie, with a good concept but very bad screenplay, acting, directing, and so on....

1 out of 10 for me, and I'm amazed it got so many 10's but then again, all the crew must have voted 10.

It seems like this movie is getting some harsh and I would have to argue unfair reviews!

I decided to check out Amsterdam heavy when I saw it for sale in Tescos. With a title like Amsterdam Heavy I was expecting some pretty action-packed, arse kicking fight scenes and that's exactly what this movie is all about!

The story has an entertaining and interesting concept which is delivered through a cast of both up and coming and renowned talent- Michael Madson is particularly of credit in his role as CIA Agent Martin Keele. The movie intertwines violence, action, dark humour and sex appeal to create an action packed 90 minute roller coaster ride into the criminal heart of Amsterdam. Okay so the fight scenes might not quite be Micheal Bay standard- but hey, the guys not the be all and end all… Michael Wright is a talented English director and who said action is dependant on how extreme you can make an explosion?!

If you're looking for a unique watch that will keep your adrenaline pumping and your palms sweaty - Amsterdam Heavy is most definitely movie for you. Check it out.

An entertaining and exhilarating film - 7/10

I am absolutely and seriously surprised that there are some positive reviews here !

My vote was 1 out of 10, but that's only because there was no 0 to choose in the box !

I have never... and I mean this from the bottom of my heart... NEVER seen a worse movie than this one.

First of all it's ridiculous that almost everybody speaks English in this movie while it sets in Amsterdam. Please don't go to Amsterdam and think that people there all speak English !

Secondly ; the acting, I have only 1 thing to say about that ; it is non-existent! there is no acting, its just people saying their lines ! apart from 2 exceptions that is. Allison Carroll and Michael Madsen are acting, it's just the rest that isn't !

3rd ; the filming itself was not even poor anymore, just downright awful !

4th ; the fight scenes, sometimes when the fight scenes are badly made you laugh at it. This however was SO bad I genually had to cry !

Such a shame, the story was good it could have made for a good movie, but they somehow managed to screw it up in the worst way !

I can't believe I actually spent money on this! There's 90 minutes of my life i'll never get back!