AmeriQua

There was a lot of potential; Alec Baldwin, beautiful scenery, Alessandra Mastronardi one of the most beautiful girls I've seen in a while... but the movie really goes nowhere.

A rich kid is given 5k and then cut off from his allowance. On a lark, he goes to Italy and is immediately robbed. He manages to steal the van the thieves drove unaware that there are some mysterious and important papers in the van. He visits a guy he met along the way and alleged hilarity ensues in what is supposed to be a 1) Coming of Age 2) Fish out of Water 3) Love Story that ends with dumb, illogical antics that seem stolen right out of Crocodile Dundee Part 3. The lead, Robert F. Kennedy III started off well but seemed to lose his bearings during the movie. Then, they added the warring Mafia clans, a jerk-off hit-man, an American girl studying abroad who may or may not like the main guy.... Meh, it gets a little messy. Plus, there is the whole "Was-it-a-dream?!" thing at the end. Really? Really??

As a guy, if a wife/girlfriend forced me to watch this with them, it'd be OK. But not even the superhot Italian girl or Eva Amurri can get me to watch this again. C-.

I love movies with some flavor and fun, think of EuroTrip, which is how I found this movie - searching for EuroTrip on Netflix. In spite of the poor rating, I decided to give it a shot. If you want to turn off your brain for a while and watch some amazing scenery, with a potentially interesting story, you won't regret watching this. However, ultimately there's no point to the movie. The lead actor is just weak and can't carry a scene. His new buddy Lele is a strong actor, as are the leading ladies. The other 2 new male friends in Italy are just nasty. Some characters actions make no sense, they never ask for help, characters slip into and out of English/Italian even when they supposedly don't speak the language. The plot gets mixed and pointless, with some odd camera work just to keep you off balance. But the worst sin is it never builds. There's no tension, no sense that it won't all work out in the end. And a building romantic relationship is suddenly just - gone. I kept expecting the main characters to work through everything and to stay in Italy building a life together, but noooo. They split without any sense of loss at all. It has so much potential, but ultimately had no direction, acting, or any redeeming qualities.

I stumbled upon the 2013 comedy "AmeriQua", which was oddly enough titled "EuroTrapped" on the DVD that I got a hold of. And I thought it might perhaps be a comedy in the likes of the 2004 "EuroTrip" comedy. In fact, I didn't know what I was in for here, as I had never heard about the movie prior to sitting down and watching it.

However, writers Matteo Bortolotti, Bobby Kennedy III and Caterina Mazzuccato delivered a script that totally and utterly fell short of entertaining me. And truth be told, I ended up giving up on the movie after having suffered through 56 minutes of absolute boredom.

There wasn't a single laugh throughout the insanely boring 56 minutes of torture that I sat through.

The only familiar face on the cast list for me was Alec Baldwin. As for the acting performances in the movie, well, while they were adequate, they just didn't stand a snowballs chance in Hell with that atrocity of a script that the actors and actresses had to work with.

"AmeriQua" is most certainly not a movie that I will ever return to attempt finish watching, as it just wasn't my cup of tea in the least bit.

My rating of directors Marco Bellone and Giovanni Consonni 2013 movie "AmeriQua" lands on a two out of ten stars.