Born to Ride

My goodness, what an awful film! Why even wanting to finance this,since there's so much better material out there! Why putting a budget,into something written out of commission,directed&produced so clumsily,without any trace of style,professionalism?Why, not going,for one of those great B movies of the Past,solid and vibrant,somewhat innovative,by trying to hide the obvious,dressing up with style,and moody visuals the lack of greater writing or production values,to achieve,with the intelligence and knowledge,typical of real directors&producers,so called for a merit,a brilliant,not so common artistry,belonging to those,just used to be known with "such names" for a reason,people able to pull together a movie with personal filmmaking? Here we are,instead,dealing,not only with a movie,obviously conceived and thought by people unable to put on to practice what love for the Seven Art should be,but,one of those products,coming out of procrastinated "favors",financial transactions gone awry,by clearly blindfolded investors,in need to fire immediately,whomever was even able to persuade or advice them to put money into useless,insignificant,trite Projects,like this one, sheering just for a painful showcase of negligence,anchored to a script,almost surprisingly stellar,in its lack of character development,or insight&creativity! All together,this shows to me,at its very best,what I believe,would be clear,even in film school:a true absence of any basic training in film's writing,and,quite an example,of prime abnegation for directing with some sense,with some style,while,displaying,in abundance,lots of bad dialog,only! Now,why the managers/agents of actors,that,after all,have worked for many years,acquiring a certain standing,would even consider to read such misfires,getting their clients compromised in such creative and financial disasters?What deeply unnerved me,and saddened me the most,was to see,a still wonderful,talented lady,like the chameleon like,truly gifted,Theresa Russell ending up in such a cheap mess! I understand today there's a general crisis and that even bigger budget's films,great producers,writers&directors,are going through an awful lot of grief,due to illicit downloads,Torrent's rip-off's,and that absurd mentality that's destroying also the Music business,the increasing,delirious common idea that Entertainment is not something we pay for anymore,but,rather,something we can get for free,and,even if,we'll only get to consume it,try to enjoy it,in its worst prints&copies,it is still for free,making of the act,some sort of smart saving,or clever move,without realizing,instead,that,we're just 'buying' a product at its worst,while,refusing to learn,what's going to be a dramatic&World challenging event,soon to be making News:before we even can imagine,in fact,nobody will be able to make/produce,anything new,without a cash flow! Result? All of those who believe now to be very clever,by not paying for a product,will end up as victims of their own greed,and dishonesty,having to watch or listen only to old films,old music,a few left over's,of an Industry (the Entertainment Industry,that is)already in agony,now,and,very soon to be dead,for the lack of real funds! A business reduced to a bunch of Studios who must deal with Corporations,that don't know about true movies,and finance a few formulaic projects,just over computer's or marketing's projections,with no interest for the best intents of the crafts that make,instead,what we have loved&dreamed of,for ever! Corporations don't invest in what they believe to be too risky motion pictures,since they are virtually ignorant of the magic of movies, a true Art,not made just by Finances,furthermore,they don't respect Audiences,either,that is why we get so many disappointing films,and always,less innovative,dreamy shows,like the ones we used"to kill for" in order to see,and at least twice,in a Theater!As for the independent Companies,always well known to be most creative,the ones still bringing us the truly amazing and unique films,are,on the other hand,right now,almost on the verge of bankruptcy,struggling to make a picture every now and then,selling to Distributors unable to pay for products anymore,since what they make back,is often not enough to pay expenses of marketing and labor,and all the quality,needed to bring us the best:higher quality has costs,since it requires the hard work and commitment of lots of people,that are instead loosing jobs,not getting payed&honored! To top this off,there are a few other Distributions,operating in full dishonesty,hiding from the filmmakers,even those little profits made,so instead,of getting something else in production,Independent Companies are coming to an end!In fact,by hiding that money into their pockets,those Companies,fearing also bankruptcy,do only play a game that's been destroying the industry,knocking it down from its own foundations! What a mess,i hope you're thinking,now! Yes! But,why,opening this sad subject here,while reviewing this poorly crafted dud? Just,over the thought,that making a movie is a very hard job,which not only requires genius,very special talents,but,the dedication of many artists&great technicians!This requires money and a payroll,too,like any other respected business,of sort. It should require even more than that,since,if we don't get some true great minds,involved in the making of pictures,all you can get,is just"something"shallow like "Born to Ride"!And,even employing,someone like Theresa Russell,who made terrific movies,giving insightful,at times,even unforgettable performances,and always had an image of a real cult star,does not help!Now,she's struggling,painfully embarrassed,in a production,she should not be in,to respect of her talent,but also of the movies and to remember integrity is still alive&kicking! However,everyone's gotta make a living,and that's a fact! So,instead of criticizing the horror of current filmmaking,the lack of ideas,Art,and talent,we are often put through,let's start to think differently,and,while demanding real Films,Stars&Directors,let's also start realizing the necessity of a real change! How? Let's begin with paying in full,for what we wanna watch and entertain or elevate ourselves with,let's change the World,by refusing&protesting against films like this one,but, also by paying for anything that strives to be superior, for what we really love to watch! Realizing how worth it is to pay,for something that make us dream,yet showing us where only a greater vision could take us to, will perhaps help to save the Entertainment's World from its demise,while still granting us what we most appreciate&love to see!Movies can make our lives a more noble,wider experience! The crisis shows clearly what it is happening,by watching these bad pictures,so,let's regain a right to the real Movies,by making a change ourselves!

Two bikers take off to go to Sturgis (which happens in August, though a newspaper says it is still Spring) and get involved in some sort of government chicanery.

This comes to us from director James Fargo, best known for "Every Which Way But Loose" and reunites Casper Van Dien with a terrible beard and Patrick Muldoon from "Starship Troopers". This is the second film to do this in 2011 (the first is "Turbulent Skies") and the lesser of the two.

Also here is William Forsythe as Jack Steele. He is so talented, I feel bad they put him in this film. And I am not sure what the point was. He comes off as menacing but his henchman are hapless dopes like the cop in "Smokey and the Bandit". So is this a comedy? An action film? What is it?

Another reviewer called this film "beyond awful", and that is the sad truth. The plot seems to make sense, at least for a while, but then goes radically divergent from any sort of sense. Plots start and end at any given moment, people disappear without explanation... just when I thought I knew what was going on, I was more confused than before. And I was sober.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this film. Maybe with a case of beer and a friend or two it is worth watching, but I found very little redeeming in it.

This is a worthless movie. The 'story' is so feeble that you can't even consider the plot half baked. The only redeeming thing about the movie is Branscombe Richmonds performance. One gets the impression that the writer was watching Easy Rider and thought himself...'I can do that'. I knew this movie was going to be a real stinker.... but got it anyway. That is two dollars I will never get back. There a few major holes in the so called story....1) the girl hitch hiker simply vanishes in the middle the night in the desert, 2) they rebuild and modify a vintage motorcycle to show bike quality in three days, 3)they never show how they defeated the two hoods that were chasing them, 4)there is no real ending to the movie, 5) the main character is acting in a movie at the end, this makes no sense and does not even remotely fit into the plot in anyway. Whats even worse about this movie is that I took the time to write this review.

Casper Van Dien gets reunited with his fellow Starship Trooper Patrick Muldoon in Born To Ride. Too bad they didn't get anything half as good as that film. Maybe they made a mistake killing off Muldoon in Starship Troopers or these two could have done sequels together.

Which would have been better than Born To Ride. This film is like some kind of cinematic joke that's being perpetrated on the audience. I won't go into the plot except that these two biker dudes got stuck with a tape showing a Senator taking a really big bribe for insider information. And the guy doing the bribing wants it back and he sends a pair of goofballs to get it.

It starts out quite serious and then for no reason veers off into comedy and the end, well it's almost surreal. Did anybody have an idea of what they exactly wanted to inflict on the movie going public?

Casper you and Pat work something out like Pat's twin brother becomes a citizen and joins Rico's Rangers in another Starship Trooper sequel for your next project.

Listen, I won't pretend that this is high class cinema. But have you ever seen the Room? Miami connection? a Neil Breen film? It's kinda in the same category as those.

9/10,. Not perfect. But pretty good if you're in the mood for something dumb.