This Is Me

Saw this at Phoenix Film Festival. Also saw director's other doc about making of Platoon which was great. This film, not so much.

While some parts were better than others, overall feel was disjointed, sloppy and cheesy. Def not as good as the other films shown at PFF.

Two guys behind me were laughing at the opening and commenting on stock images and director's narration. While they also commented on his appearance, which wasn't cool, I did agree with their dislike of the drawings and font selection. They walked out of the film around 15 minutes in. Something I considered as well. In the end the people in Oklahoma were worth the wait. Though I think it was a huge oversight to not include West Hollywood in this film. (Street scenes is a cheap cop out attempt at what could have been something great).

I don't usually do this whole review thing, but I just had to share my thoughts after watching this film. My niece, who's 20 and in college, dropped a bomb at Christmas saying she wants to transition. My brother-in-law went off and threatened to disown her. So, in an effort to support my niece and sister, I decided to learn more, which is how I found this documentary on Prime Video. I had a hard time figuring out how to leave a review there, as it only asked me to thumbs up or down it when I exited the film. Obviously, thumbs down.

But I really needed to speak my mind because this film really angered me.

I chose to watch this documentary because it seemed relatable to what my family is going through, or so I thought. At first, I thought it was kinda cute with the stick figures and all and the interviews with the father and stepmom gave me a glimmer of hope for my niece. But then came the mother's interview, and OMG, I was shocked. When she asked if she should call her child he or she, the filmmaker put this awful skipping record sound in there. I kept watching for a few more minutes, but my mind kept replaying that question and sound wondering why it bothered me. It's an honest question. So I went back and watched it again from the start, and when it hit that scene again, my blood boiled! The filmmaker totally insulted and humiliated that poor mother - to the whole wide world!!! For him to not only leave that question in there intentionally, but to HIGHLIGHT it with that sound effect, angered me to no end! I was so mad I couldn't take it anymore and turned it off while cursing him to hell and back.

Maybe it hit me harder because it was a man doing the filming and narrating, and I felt like the mom was specifically targeted while the dad got off without any similar treatment.

Was this dude really trying to make a joke out of a serious situation? I get trying to add some levity and maybe that's why he used cartoon figures, but the fact he didn't treat the dad with the same disrespect left me feeling like he's a misogynist or had some personal issue with that mother. Because why else would he make a deliberate decision to not just leave that question in there and not edit it out, but to specifically draw negative attention to it with that awful sound effect?? Whatever the reason for his decision, it ruined the film for me completely and is why I am leaving a negative review and rating.

As I sat through the first twenty minutes of "This is Me" an aspiring yet painfully amateurish film by Paul Sanchez, I couldn't help but feel like I had stepped into a throwback to a cheesy 90s movie like "Independence Day" complete with stock photos of America and the director's egotistical desire to self narrate.

In a time when the auteur theory is being redefined by fresh voices and diverse perspectives, Sanchez's decision to narrate his own film feels like an ironic nod to an antiquated style of filmmaking -- a self-indulgent relic that overshadows any vestige of artistry he might have aspired to achieve.

Take for instance the stick figure animation he used to explain the family dynamic. The lack of sophistication combined with Sanchez's narration felt intrusive, a clunky overlay that attempts to explain what we are seeing rather than allowing the visuals and interviewees to speak for themselves. Instead of enhancing the narrative, his monotone voice felt forced with empathy and becomes a cumbersome weight, dragging us down into a muddled sea of over-explanation and amateurish commentary. It's as if he doesn't trust his audience to grasp the nuances of his film, which is ironic considering that the film itself lacks the sophistication that would warrant such a guide.

Let's talk about the film's structure -- or lack thereof. Sanchez's storytelling feels less like a carefully crafted narrative and more like a ADHD stream of consciousness that wanders aimlessly, punctuated by his own self-absorbed interjections. It's a frustrating experience, especially for those of us who have been trained to appreciate the subtlety and complexity of documentaries. Characters are introduced, flitting in and out of existence with little to no context and any attempt at emotional depth is drowned in Sanchez's incessant need to be on screen, and yet the rational as to why the main character is compared and contrasted to these other individuals feels extremely weak. As if he's leading us through a labyrinth he built himself, but forgot to include the map.

Visually the film is a mixed bag -- a jumble of interviews with everyone just sitting in a chair being interviewed, which shows a lack of confidence in both technique and vision. Furthermore, Sanchez's penchant for over-sentimentalizing moments with his narration only compounds the issue. What could have been a poignant scene is often ruined by his heavy-handed commentary. The lack of trust in his visual storytelling is glaring, and it diminishes the emotional impact of what could otherwise be powerful storytelling, just not by him.

The crux of the issue lies in a deeper question about authorship in film. Sanchez as an older mail filmmaker, albeit he is new to filmmaking, represents a generation that has often dominated the narrative landscape, and yet here he is, trapped in a cycle of self-importance. His insistence on narrating his own film not only reflects a lack of faith in the audience's ability to interpret his work, but it also showcases a troubling disconnection from the evolving dynamics of storytelling. In an era where the voices of women and non-binary individuals are finally being amplified, Sanchez's self-indulgence feels like a regression, a refusal to step aside and allow new perspectives to thrive.

In conclusion, one could view "This is Me" as a cautionary tale about the perils of unchecked ego in filmmaking. As writer, director, and producer, if his goal was to create an immersive experience, he has failed spectacularly, trapped instead in a self-referential loop that is as tedious as it is unprofessional.

As a young filmmaker, I can only hope that my generation learns from this misstep and embraces the collaborative spirit that truly makes cinema a powerful medium.

Living in a marginalized community has been tough, mostly because of the loss of friends and family. Making lifelong friends, true like minded friends has been the most difficult but the most rewarding. Living ones true self and the joy and peace to the soul that it brings are amazing. No skipping sounds for me with my mother, my partner, and my immediate family luckily but there has been in other relationships I previously had. And it does feel like that , like the record has skipped, when the other person is no longer in sync with you.

I also live in a very rural area. The girls I know here , especially Sarah and our house mom Hanna literally kept me out of the darkness when Covid hit us in lockdowns 5 years ago. It was thier community that kept me, kept many of us from feeling totally isolated again.

Paul was very thoughtful in his interviewing techniques and presentation. Living in our community makes us untrustful of outsiders. Paul having the one on one interviews certainly put my friends at ease. We appreciate him telling our story in such a thoughtful way that we had him recently as a special guest for International Transgender Day of Visibility in an excellent round table discussion. We can never thank him enough.