Super Shark

The US military tries to keep a "Super-Shark" at bay, but our leading lady exclaims, "This isn't working!" The shark jumps around on dry land, threatening to eat everyone in sight. This turns out to be lifted from later in the story. One week earlier, an oil rig mishap seems to trigger the madness. Oceanic Investigation Bureau (OIB) marine biologist Sarah Lieving (as Kat Carmichael) suspects oily executive John Schneider (as Roger Wade) caused the shark growth with environmentally unfriendly chemicals...

Still sporting his wavy "Dukes of Hazzard" hair, Mr. Schneider notices Ms. Lieving is attractive. "If only I had a mustache to twirl," he says. Minus his southern accent, Schneider sounds a bit like Robert Wagner. Lieving hires "Blue Moon" skipper Tim Abel (as Chuck) to help her find the monster shark. He also notices Lieving is attractive. Schneider works for former "Dark Shadows" reverend Jerry Lacy (as Stewart). A bikini contest is moderated by "Good Times" jive-taking Jimmie "J.J." Walker (as Stevens). Not dynamite.

*** Super Shark (12/8/11) Fred Olen Ray ~ Sarah Lieving, John Schneider, Tim Abel, Jerry Lacy

Ahhhh….Supershark, it can fly, it can walk, it can swim! What do three horny lifeguards, a marine biologist and a loser beach bum in a cowboy hat have in common? They all have an encounter with Supershark in their destiny. Fred Olen Rey, a director with three decades of proved hits under his belt—like "Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet" or "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers"—proves once again what he can do with a low budget, and it's not very much. This movie lacks everything that might interest you, good acting, good writing, good special effects; it is almost laughably bad, but not quite, in other words it's just bad bad. It does have one unique feature, as it gives us the answer to the question: "What ever happened to JJ "Dyn-O-Mite" Walker, former TV star from the series "Good Times"? Then again, some questions are better left unanswered, and Supershark is one film best left unseen.

Don't even try to take this film seriously, because it's obviously made for laughs. I saw it with some friends on a "b-movie night" and we laughed our asses off! The overly plastic animation of the shark, how it attacks and the clichés of the main characters almost getting it on with each other on screen, the bad acting (seriously, these "actors" are even worse than you in drama class), the way how the shark overcomes the attacks, etc etc.

Even the camera work could've been better, but this film is just another stick of hay on the postmodern pile where I'm looking for needles that don't have "property of Christopher Nolan" laser printed on them (although he barely touches Kubrick's genius, but that's another topic).

If you're a critic you will hate it, if you wanna see a movie for super laughs, get super shark.

Super Shark (2011)

** (out of 4)

Offshore drilling is to blame for a giant shark that gets set free and goes on killing rampage.

Fred Olen Ray directed this low-budget creature feature that's certainly not an Oscar-winner but then again the goal wasn't to win awards. Ray is an expert when it comes to these types of movies so he knows what his fans want and that's pretty much what he delivers. I mean, if you're willing to sit through a movie called SUPER SHARK then I'm sure you want to see a shark, correct? Well you're going to get plenty of shark action because the director gives us all sorts of action scenes and plenty of shark footage.

Yes, the CGI shark looks fake but then again all of these movies feature fake looking sharks but for the most part this one here looks good enough. There are plenty of scenes with the shark attacking people, jumping through the air and even crashing onto land. Just wait until the end when the shark does battle against a really fake looking tank. Tim Abell and Catherine Annette are good enough in their roles and for the most part the characters are entertaining.

Obviously SUPER SHARK isn't a masterpiece but for this type of movie it's entertaining enough to watch.

Unfortunately for this movie, I am calling it jaw-droppingly bad. I did my best to keep an open mind, as I could tell from the title that the film was not necessarily going to be good but had the potential to be a guilty pleasure. That is if they had tried putting effort into components like the story, script, characters and effects. Every single of those are done abysmally here in my opinion. Super Shark is a very poorly made movie, with effects looking so fake that I got the sense they were rushed through in construction. Even the editing manages to have a choppy feel to it. The music is a little better, but there is nothing outstanding about it either and it could have been more atmospherically used, to me it felt too obvious at times. The script doesn't feel natural whatsoever, it all feels very cheesy and stilted, while the story is ridiculous, suspense-less and completely unsurprising, complete with a pointless romance that is in danger of slowing Super Shark down. The characters I didn't give a tuppence about, they are little more than walking clichés that don't do much other than acting foolish. The shark of the title is cheap in look and not menacing at all, while the attack scenes are choppily edited, unintentionally funny and as far away as thrilling or scary as you can go. Of the acting, Sarah Lieving is the only one who looks as though she is trying, all the others look bored. Overall, jaw-droppingly awful. 1/10 Bethany Cox