Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Don't you just love when the infamous Asylum production discriminates your brain? It's just intolerable! I know, now you're thinking "then why did you watch that film?", because I want to issue a warning to all people who loves to watch movies, to avoid this at every cost. So, this movie was directed by Mary Lambert who directed "Pet Cemetery" and it's sequel. But, Mary is definitely one of those directors whose career was washed up and so, she joined the Asylum. Now… I don't know… I bet that producers of Asylum are the fans of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany… And they took this failed director and these two failed singers… oh yes, how did they call them? The 80s pop sensations? What sensations? The two of them had only one hit song that sucked big time. And they obviously wanted to show some kind of rivalry between the two "pop sensations", and they did it with the duel on a party, which was one of the funniest things I have ever seen… especially in the film that, like… tends to be somewhat "serious"… That duel was predicted by Bill Hicks, if you ask me… Now, what to say? Directing was horrible, acting was dreadful (all actors in this film… wow… they never ever heard about acting. Tiffany and Debbie were characters that presented a last straw in this crap, two failed "pop sensations" in failed movie career. Are they that dumb, not to notice that the joke was on their expense?), editing, music score, camera work, well… that's asylum… and CGI which is the highlight of badness… no need to talk about this… in this moment, my fingers are shivering and my brain hurts! Avoid this and do something better with your life, fill your bathtub and practice holding your breath for a… two hours. It's far more exciting than watching this turd.

Now, somewhere between the non serious title and the fact that this movie went straight to cable on the SyFy Channel, one certainly should get the idea that we are not dealing with "Gone with the Wind" here, but with a silly monster movie. But there is still a place for that. Sometimes some of us have had it with too many serious things in life and we just want to watch something light and silly, and movies like these fill that urge. The fact that several of us voted to watch it proves the point.

The good points? The rivalry between the two main actresses at times was interesting. The rest of the movie sort of went along with expectations. And by that I mean, the acting and drama did not even get to good, the special effects did not rival Jurassic Park, and no university professor (who is not high) is going to buy the explanation for the larger monsters and how they got that way. The bottom line is, if you are in the mood for something that you know is not serious nor pretends to be serious, this might fill some time for you.

Regrets from me after watching it? Some movies that know they are not the big time sometimes reach cult classic fame with the right amount of silliness and interest such as "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". I think this movie tried for that category also, but I do not feel it achieved that either. But I give it credit for being honest as to what it really was - a non serious monster movie.

OK, here's the deal. Don't expect The Green Mile or Shawshank Redemption here. This is a B Grade Comedy that is very creative and fun. If you have watched the Mega Shark series and want more then this is by far the best of the lot. Its fun, silly and the dialogue is positively hilarious.

I suggest: Watching this with kids Watching it while high / stoned watching it if you are very forgiving of low budget fun movies.

I watched this with a 6 year old it it really is a great way to have fun with the family. Kids love the animals and Adults love the absurdity. People that rate this movie badly are equating it to big budget movies. That's hardly fair bu whatever, If you fall into any of the above categories then give it a try and be forgiving when rating this.

OK. Debbie Gibson. Tiffany. Mutant creatures. Cheese acting. Cat fight between Debbie and Tiffany. Total crap as far as "good" movie standards go. However, if you're into crap sci-fi movies, and you are old enough to remember these girls from the eighties and being superstars, its a great watch. Perfect for killing some time or putting on to doze off to if you have a TV by where you sleep and need something to watch and listen to while you drift off. I seriously don't know why some of these movie snobs bother to watch these movies just to criticize. I know what good movies are, and I like good movies. This isn't a good movie. Its a movie for people who like bad movies, or just bad movie trash to doze off to at 2AM. Its great as far as that goes and I hope they never stop pumping out cheap readily available movies like this for those of us that just need something kinda funny/amusing to kill some time with. Also, Jack Frost (the horror movie with a killer snowman) is great in that regard. There's a second one as well. Also, Santa's Slay...awesomeness!

In the Florida Everglades, animal rights activist Debbie Gibson (as Nikki Riley) appears to kidnap caged snakes and return them to the wild. "That woman's got a thing for snakes," notes one redneck. She is the opposite of park ranger Tiffany (as Terry O'Hara), who sees the snakes as a threat to local wildlife and orders hunters to kill them all. Debbie wants them to let nature take care of the problem. Tiffany wants to help nature along. The snakes eat alligators, so Tiffany decides to feed steroid-injected chickens to the alligators. When one eats the other, they should all die. Instead, they mutate into monsters. None of it makes much sense. Even before being fed bad chicken, the snakes get big and start attacking people, like Tiffany's cute boyfriend...

Debbie blames Tiffany...

Tiffany blames Debbie...

Former daytime TV star A Martinez (as Diego Ortiz) arrives to help. He is a scientist, reptile expert and pilot...

Alarmed by the size and viciousness of the alligators, Mr. Martinez wants to stop a local fund-raiser. Forgetting all about her friends being killed, Tiffany wants the event to go on as scheduled. Meanwhile, Debbie sees a friend eaten alive. You'll have to see if they can put aside their differences for diva friendly director Mary Lambert, and save the park. Tiffany and Debbie were pop recording stars in the 1980s and each contributes a new song to the story. Appropriately, the songs are snake-themed. The Monkees' drummer and lead singer Micky Dolenz is a special treat. But the best part is watching a knock-down, drag-out fight between the co-starring singers, especially when Debbie straddles Tiffany and applies cake frosting to her cleavage.

*** Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (1/29/11) Mary Lambert ~ Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, A Martinez, Kathryn Joosten