Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan

Being British I'm not familiar with the legend of Paul Bunyan, but this is a slasher version of the story. An ugly, 15ft, hundred odd year old giant kills a bunch of teens (old looking teens, it has to be said!) attending boot camp in the Minnesota backwoods. With a huge axe! Wonder where he got that from? This is a low budget movie with some wooden acting and very çheap CGI effects. It also has a local loon (a la Crazy Ralph, etc), and sex means death. Slasher movie staples. But hey, we watch these movies because we want to see people get killed. And there is plenty of that here. Limbs amputated, bodies sliced in half, very graphic but also very cartoonish. I rarely like these cheap, made for TV movies (Sci Fi, etc) but this one was reasonably entertaining.

Synopsis: Paul Bunyan practices his axe swing on some doofus teens.

Rating: 3.5/10. Good location for the film, and it's actually a good premise. The characters are all very stereotypical and the dialog is bland. All that is really needed for a good creature film is a good creature and some good kills. There were some okay kills, and the creature wasn't bad when he was by himself, but the interactions with others devolved into these ridiculous scenes of humans cowering on the ground while a giant hand reached out for them. These scenes aren't silly enough to be funny, and not serious enough to maintain any tension or dread. It just doesn't work. Bunyan was actually better in the beginning of the movie as a regular sized man.

Survival Lesson: Don't mess with totems. you never know what power they hold or what they mean to other people.

Young adults at a first-time offenders' boot camp discover the legend of the giant lumberjack Paul Bunyan is real, but is much more horrifying than they could have imagined.

Yes, this film has awful digital effects, with terrible blood splatter and some sort of green screen (or the modern equivalent). And it is pretty bad. But as another reviewer pointed out, it is marginally better than what the Asylum pumps out. This actually had an attempt at a plot.

I am not entirely sure how Robert Kurtzman became involved with the project. Seems to be lower quality than what he would normally put his name on. But it appears he was primarily a producer, so it may not mean much.

We begin on a cold and wintry day in 1894 Minnesota. Lumberjacks are getting ready to feast on a big mammal - unfortunately, the beast turns out to be Paul Bunyan's legendary blue ox. The wrathful Mr. Bunyan arrives and chops up everyone in sight. Discovering the massacre, graying "Grizzly Adams" star Dan Haggerty (as Bill) is appalled. We will get to see the bloody opening scene in even in more detail, during a later flashback. In the present, the area is apparently a corrections facility for first offenders, and we see a group arrive for correction. They are not "technically" a group of five teenagers, as is pointed out by kindly psychologist Kristina Kopf (as Ms. K)...

The "boot camp" is run in a drill sergeant manner by Thomas "Tom" Downey. On a hike, handsome hunk Jesse Kove (as Zachery "Zack" Moore) finds Paul Bunyan's ox' horn and makes it a keepsake. This desecration rouses monster Bunyan, who has grown into a much bigger ugly monster. He decides to chop everyone up, like he did in the past. One good thing about the story was the inability to predict the numerical death order for the males. The females are easier. Amber Collins (as Claire "CB" Tanner) makes the most of her role. Some of the early scenes are okay, especially nice is the deer and bear. By the end, Bunyan is laughable. The filmmakers should have showed less.

Axe Giant (6/1/13) Gary Jones ~ Amber Connor, Joe Estevez, Jesse Kove, Thomas Downey

The acting is questionable. The CGI is unpolished. The script is predictable. It makes Sharknado look like Hamlet. DON'T LET ANY OF THIS PUT YOU OFF!!! I wanted something lowbrow and silly to kill a bit of time one afternoon in lockdown. That is exactly what I got. This film knows it's not high art nor even a particularly great horror movie, but it seems to revel in what it is and doesn't pretend to be anything other than that. If you want a B-movie that is cheesier than cheddar fried in Monterey Jack, that is exactly what Axe Giant is going to give you, unashamedly and in bucket loads. Best enjoyed with friends and a few drinks!