Rubia

"Blonde" is sadly reduced to the collective tragedies (and horrors) that the iconic actress went through in her short 36-year-old life. Don't get me wrong, Ana de Armas totally owns the role and gives it her all (God bless her cheekbones!). She also gets worthwhile support from the cinematography, production design, costume, and make-up departments. The biggest letdown is the script that heavily lacks connective tissue between what feels like various disjointed episodes in Monroe's life. Again, each of these episodes are stripped down to repetitive plot-points such as the absentee father, the abortions, the failed marriages, and most importantly, the male gaze.

Writer-director Andrew Dominik perceives Marilyn Monroe and Norma Jeane as two distinct personas, the former being a glowy, on-screen cover-up for the distressed latter. Again, because the film is only interested in showcasing the worst of her life, as viewers, we feel disconnected early on, especially given the film goes on for a butt-numbing 160 minutes. Also, I didn't particularly like the transition between black & white and color bang in the middle of certain scenes. What was the underlying point? The film basically leaves Armas to do most of the heavy lifting since the script only attempts to look at her as an object of desire.

Of course, there are more than a few controversial stretches in the film, and if that's barring a scene with a speaking foetus, then I'm probably dreaming it all up. This isn't what Norma would've wanted to be seen as her "legacy", and both entries Netflix has come up with thus far on Marilyn Monroe (yes, I'm looking at you The Mystery of Marilyn Monroe: The Unheard Tapes) are lacklustre.

Okay there are movies that are bad because they are poorly made or low budget or can't afford good talent. This is a movie that should have known better, with the big studio, budget, and access to talent it's truly shocking how dehumanizing and awful this movie is. I can't tell if its supposed to be a parody or if it's trying to be serious. Most of the characters are poorly cast. I don't know how this is getting awards buzz. Yea! Ana De Armas can hit emotional peaks in her acting, but does it fit the character in reality? She knows what she shouldn't know. There's no real journey beyond fantasy, the character and the actress already know what's going to happen from the beginning of the film. She plays Marilyn like a naïve passive doll, with zero self-awareness. Was this actually who Marilyn was? Also she clearly has a Cuban accent. Which contributes to me wondering if this is supposed to be some kind of meta voyeuristic film that's combining two worlds: that of Marilyn, and the reality of the "film" in itself in the actress "playing" her. I don't know what this movie is trying to be. Is it a dream? Why is there so much exploitation? Where is the humanity? Its like a broken purgatory of one woman's hell. Hollywood has a bad history of exploiting people but this movie really is another level of awful in patting itself on the back. It's like the movie is having a beer with Hollywood's exploitive casting couch past.

She is a prop in this movie, her body is at the hands of all these men. Marilyn is being assaulted from the grave and robbed of her true voice. Music and cinematography are only positive things in my opinion. I really wonder if any of these actors ever stopped and asked themselves why am I doing this? What am I really contributing to humanity in this film? What is the purpose? My guess is... vanity and a paycheck. Also the model looking guys she enters the three way with in the film are not that attractive in real life! Not only did they embellish and fictionalize an affair but they made the men look like well groomed models. Films like this put fissures in the reality of the real world. We can't escape darkness when films like this cover it with a mask.

Three hours of sheer boredom with the whole focus of the film being on Norma Jean's father who abandoned her mother before she was born. Nothing new on offer. A lot of nude shots, Marilyn calling her husbands "Daddy" the babies she couldn't have, her intelligence got short shrift and her drug taking a huge focus, fed by her handlers.

John F. Kennedy, the womanizer, is depicted in a particularly revolting scene.

Shock value ruled the day and nothing new was added.

Totally disappointing and the words that comes to mind are crude and vulgar. Good imitative performance from Ana.

But not worth a re-watch or an award of any kind.

2/10.

As someone that knows nothing about Marilyn Monroe, I was excited to watch.

I ended up turning it off about 40 mins in. I knew this couldn't be real bc it was so trashy and dark.

I see now this is a fictional awfully made up story. They made Marilyn seem like trash. I can't imagine anything I watched being true.

I couldn't stomach watching another minute so I turned it off. 40 mins of my life I will never get back! I don't know if this was ever in the theater, but I'm happy I didn't pay money to see this.

Blonde could have been a really good movie if they didn't try and make it into a 2022 Hollywood flop.

In the 18th century Bedlam changed from a hospital and became a sideshow. People came to London and paid to watch the mentally ill.

In the 21st century Hollywood has reinvented this kind of horror show.

The makers of Blonde have made a vile, disgusting, unbalanced fiction about a real person who had a tragic childhood and dressed it up as a feminist lecture. It is amazing that anyone who suffered such an abusive early life could have reinvented herself and become a world wide star and icon. When she was "not well" instead of getting the medical help she needed Blonde was physically and mentally abused and fed alcohol and drugs so that she could continue to make money for the studios. Credit to star actors who turned down the role of Blonde having read the script.

BREAKING NEWS: Jan 2023 Blonde, has received the most nominations for this year's Razzies with eight nominations. It is up for worst picture and worst screenplay, while Andrew Dominik is up for worst director, and is named in the worst screen couple category. Blonde,is described by the Razzies as a film "movie-goers liked even less than critics did". Filter the reviews by 1 star ratings to see how true this is.