La torre oscura

Imagine someone told all of Game of Thrones in one movie that was just an hour and a half, then cut out 99% of the story. :(

Stephen King is notoriously difficult to adapt, some of his work near-unfilmable or at least with parts that are (i.e. 'IT'). Which is why film/television adaptations are such a mixed bag.

Made up of eight books, 'The Dark Tower' book series is simply spectacular, with wildly entertaining and imaginative stories, a deft mix of genres, unparalleled attention to detail and conflict and with characters that are far more than standard clichés. Hearing that there was going to be a film, part of me was a little excited but there was even more apprehension considering the scale and length of the series on the whole. Also because of the reception the film received, being critically panned but the audience reaction being much more mixed.

After seeing it, 'The Dark Tower' to me wasn't as bad as reputed to be and could have been far worse. The complaints however are understandable and valid, contrary to what those vehemently and in some cases condescendingly say those who found problems with the film do know what they're talking about. There are merits with 'The Dark Tower', but it has a lot of problems that cannot be ignored, no matter how hard people try. Considering the track record for Stephen King adaptations, it was useless expecting a straight up adaptation on my part and the film was seen with no aim to compare the different mediums and instead judge it on its own.

There are much better adaptations of King's work, especially 'The Shawshank Redemption', 'Stand By Me', 'Misery', 'Dolores Claiborne', 'Carrie' (1976), 'Salem's Lot', 'The Shining' (Kubrick) and 'The Green Mile'. There are also far worse, such as 'Children of the Corn' (2009), 'Sleepwalkers', 'Tommyknockers', 'Thinner', 'Dreamcatcher' and 'The Langoliers' (of the ones seen, there's some to go yet). 'The Dark Tower' is towards the weaker end though. As an adaptation, it's pretty much an abortion, asking for a straight up faithful adaptation of one book was a big ask but this feels like a severely truncated cliff-notes version of one book with fleeting references to the others.

This did affect the pacing and storytelling of the film, and reinforced the notion in my mind that the books are better adapted as a series of at least two hour films or a series of mini-series. One film of just over 90 minutes, whether in comparison to the books or on its own, just doesn't cut it.

It's not an irredeemable film by all means. The acting was the best asset, with a calmly stoic, gravitas-filled and the personification of authoritative dignity Idris Elba particularly acquitting himself well. Tom Taylor is also credible, instead of bland or annoying or both he holds his own. While views on Matthew McConaughey's villain were more mixed, McConaughey to me had a few uneven moments where he was too smug (blame the writing more than him though) but mostly he was suitably sinister.

For a limited budget, 'The Dark Tower' could have looked worse. Not everything visually works, but it's skilfully photographed, atmospherically lit and has some quite authentic production design. The action is choreographed reasonably well and has suspense, excitement and tension. The music has some haunting moments and positively pulsates.

However, 'The Dark Tower' is far too short and feels very rushed as a result of cramming in a lot. The film does try to do too much and doesn't have the length to do much with any of it, which makes a lot of elements underwritten and without much impact. Only in the action does the film excite or nail-bites, the script is far too watered down, cliché ridden and half-baked to make the exposition scenes work and characterisation is severely wanting despite the valiant efforts of the cast.

Not everything works visually. Some of the editing is sloppy and the visual effects look like they were made last minute and with the worst of budget limitations. The direction shows unease with the material, while the story is choppy and the ending rushed and anti-climactic. Pacing is erratic, the exposition is clunky and very draggy while the final third is over-stuffed and was in need of slowing down.

In summation, could have been far worse and it is watchable but as an adaptation it's a disaster and judging it on its own terms sees just as many problems. Even when one is trying not to compare, which this review really tried not to and only mentioned how it fared as an adaptation in half a paragraph or something, 'The Dark Tower' is very problematic on its own.

Oh and, despite being a subjective person, don't let those defending the film make you feel like it's illegal to dislike the film and have problems with it, this whole agenda-against-critics has become out of control and uncalled for. If one likes the film fine but learn the difference between fact and opinions and be mature. 5/10 Bethany Cox

This film reminds me of the situation surrounding the making of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. The film was turned down by one studio after another as none of the studios wanted to commit to making 3 films. One of the studios actually agreed to make it, but only if the script was condensed into a single film. Thankfully the people that had the rights and were pitching the films understood that the idea of translating the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in a single film was a laughable proposition and the end result would have been a terrible film that would ultimately do no justice to the source material. They were willing to bring it down to 2 films instead of 3, but the studio wound up turning them down.

The final studio they approached was New Line and because all of the other studios had turned them down, they pitched it to New Line as a 2 film series as opposed to a trilogy. Amazingly, New Line agreed to take on the project but only if it was made as a trilogy. Clearly someone at New Line smartly recognized that Lord of the Rings was an amazing project and the only way to do it right was to make it a trilogy. And anyone who has read the Lord of the Rings trilogy understands first hand that there is just way too much material to be condensed into a single film or even 2 films. And as we all know, the films wound up being a HUGE success and made New Line billions. At last look the Trilogy had made more than 6 billion world wide.

Like Lord of the Rings, The Dark Tower series is just way too big to be condensed into a single film. Any film studio that was legitimately serious about doing the Dark Tower series justice would understand that right out of the gate. The Lord of the Rings was 3 books and the running time for the extended versions of the films was 682 minutes or just over 11 hours long. .The Dark Tower series is 8 books and many of them are BIG books. Anyone who thinks that amount of material can be condensed into a single film is living in la la land. I knew going in that this was going to be a cheap attempt at making money off of Stephen Kings name and the popularity of The Dark Tower series and that's exactly what it was. The Dark Tower series is one of my all time favorite book series, as is Lord of the Rings, and this film is literally a bad joke compared to the source material. How they got Matthew McConaughey to sign on to this film when he has had such an amazing run the last 4-5 years is simply beyond my understanding. I will never understand how such an amazing writer has had so many terrible films made from his books.

Bottom line - this was a terrible film, one that does no justice to the source material at all. If your a fan of the Dark Tower books, do yourself a HUGE favor and skip this film. Its like a bad joke of the Dark Tower universe. Everyone involved with this film should be ashamed of being a part of it. The only reason I saw it is because I have a nephew than basically begged me to take him to see it and I have to admit, part of me was curious to see just how bad it really was and in that regard it didn't disappoint. It was just as bad as I expected it to be. This is Hollywood garbage, nothing more and nothing less. Do yourself a favor and put your money elsewhere.

I did NOT read the books; I had not even heard of this movie; it's a random DVR grab from cable. I enjoyed it, despite some minor flaws.

PROS: We have some great casting -- Mathew McConaughey is creepy and effective as The Man in Black and Idris Elba is perfect as the slightly washed-up Gunslinger (capital G as there is a knightly connotation). The pacing is pleasantly fast; the director expects the audience to piece together some of the background story instead of having it entirely spoon-fed to them. I liked this approach; it exercised my brain a bit.

CONS: The underlying plot structure is quite standard, and this makes some developments rather predictable. Also, it's rather convenient that everyone in the universe speaks English.

IN SUM: It's fun and a bit different. I like the mixing of tech from different worlds. I give this seven (7) stars for escapist entertainment.

Stephen King's Dark Tower novels may have their flaws but they are nonetheless a highly creative juggernaut that deserved either a fully committed TV adaptation or to be simply left alone.

I'm not sure what was going through the heads of the people involved with this limp mess of a movie. it manages to achieve the double whammy of being completely incomprehensible to non-book readers whilst also being highly insulting to fans of the novels.

As for Matthew McConaughey, I've never been much of a fan and this tragic performance confirms my suspicions that he is one of the most one-dimensional and overrated actors in the business. Idris Elba manages to salvage some artistic integrity from the ruins with a reasonable performance but there is not much one can do with such a godforsaken script.

I love the Dark Tower novels and would recommend them to anybody. It would be difficult for even the best in the business to adequately bring the story to life through cinema but these clowns didn't even try. One of the laziest and Hollywood productions of all-time.