Roadkill

Roadkill is a telefilm directed by Johannes Roberts and written by Rick Suvalle. It stars Oliver James, Eliza Bennett, Kacey Barnfield, Ned Dennehy, Diarmuid Noyes, Roisin Murphy and Eve Macklin. Music is by Ray Harman and cinematography by Peter Robertson.

A bunch of young friends are travelling around Ireland in an RV when they stop off at a bric-a-brac store. Getting into a dispute with one of the crotchety shop inhabitants, the youths are forced to flee and knock down an old Romany lady with their RV. Whilst trying to aid the old woman, she gasps her last breaths whilst issuing a curse on all involved in her killing…

Once in a while you stumble upon a telefilm that really entertains and holds you for its duration, sadly Roadkill is not one of them. Low expectations always help with these sort of productions, they are after all knocked up by aspiring directors who are just happy to have a film shown on the SyFy channel, but thee's not a lot to write home about here.

In its favour is the appearance of Ned Dennehy, who is always good value for a bit of scuzzy characterisation, and Stephen Rea even pops in for a cameo, but both actors are clearly slumming it and working for food. The group of handsome youngsters are the usual roll call of nice legs, nice cleavage, nice pecs, supplemented by the dim one, the annoying one who says dude a lot and etc, each to be picked off by a rather crummy CGI mythical beast from Sinbad lore.

Will any of them survive? Just what is the secret of the medallion that Dennehy's dirty army are so keen to get back? The answers to these questions will of course provide the backbone of the story, leading to an unintentionally funny moment when "lead girl" turns into Chuck Norris. The acting isn't awful and it's nice to have some genuine Irish countryside as the backdrop to a story set in Ireland, but it all comes off as pointless TV schedule filler. And unadventurous filler at that. 3/10

ROADKILL, a SyFy Channel-style giant monster flick complete with CGI beastie and some horrid acting, offers something a little different for B-movie fans. This one's set in Ireland for a change, and sees a group of American vacationers going on a road trip in their RV (or camper van for Brit viewers) and finding themselves at the mercy of an ancient curse.

It's all preposterous nonsense of course, and the film's cause is little helped by the cheesy, sloppy execution. The writing is equally poor: there's a fairly large cast and yet none of the main characters is in any way memorable or indeed stands out from the pack. When the token black guy shows up you know that the calibre of the writing is sub-par and totally clichéd to say the least.

And yet, and yet...ROADKILL has a certain atmosphere that I found highly charged and plenty of fun. The effects are cheesy, yes, but the giant bird creature is good fun, although more than a little out of place (I'd expect it in an Arabian Nights adventure, not a rural Irish horror). There's plenty of action, and Irish actor Ned Dennehy chews up the scenery with relish as the primary antagonist. Watch out for Stephen Rea's shame-faced cameo as a copper. ROADKILL may not be high art but it does offer plentiful amusement and, for me, that's what counts in a B-movie.

Score one for SyFy Channel and the generically titled "Roadkill." A bunch of good-looking your people are on a road trip in Ireland when they accidentally hit an old gypsy woman, who places a curse on them. They also run afoul of her peculiar hillbilly-like family. The curse comes in the form of a most unpleasant flying beast, a roc from ancient Greek mythology, which picks the youths off one by one. The roc is of course a CGI creation, but is several steps up from most other CGI creatures that populate SyFy-made flicks. The kids themselves are nothing special, but the film has the advantage of having been shot on location. Very reminiscent of "Jeepers Creepers II," and any film involving killer hillbillies ("Wrong Turn," for instance) and gypsy curses ("Thinner" comes to mind). Worth a look.

Six teenagers travel to Ireland in a RV road trip expecting to have fun in their vacation. They stop in a bar and Anita (Roisin Murphy) offers 100 Euros to buy the medal of the gypsy Luca (Ned Dennehy). He accepts the money, but delivers another brooch. The troublemaker Chuck (Diarmuid Noyes) takes the medal from Luca and they flee to the RV. However, they accidentally run down a clairvoyant gypsy that curses them before she dies. Soon they learn that they are chased by the legendary bird Simuroc and by the gypsies that want to retrieve Luca's medal.

"Roadkill" is a dreadful movie with a predictable story that entwines the plots of other teen horror movies in an awful collection of clichés and stereotypical characters. There are dozens of movies showing teenagers in a road trip that goes wrong and a gypsy curse can be seen in "Drag me to Hell" or "Thinner". The giant bird is probably the only "original" part of this movie. What is Stephen Rea doing in this flick? My vote is two.

Title (Brazil): "A Fúria de Simuroc" ("The Anger of Simuroc")

Released in 2011, "Roadkill" is yet another creature-on-the-loose flick from Syfy. This time it's a giant bird-of-prey, the mythical Roc, preying upon a bunch of youths touring rural Ireland in an RV, picking 'em off one by one.

With Syfy you never know what you're going to get. For every "Sasquatch Mountain" and "From Within" there's a "Mega Cleavage Vs. Gatorade." With a title like "Roadkill" the prognosis wasn't very good, but "Roadkill" surprised me.

The movie combines elements of several films: "Jeepers Creepers 2" (flying creature attacking a bus full of youths) and countless other flying creature flicks like "Carny" and "Wyvern," as well as films like "Wrong Turn" and "Dying Breed" (malevolent hicks in remote areas). It also has a subplot about an old gypsy curse, which is reminiscent of "Drag Me to Hell." If you like these types of films "Roadkill" is as good or better.

What makes it "as good or better"? For one, it's filmed on location in mysterious rural areas of Ireland, which sets it apart from most Syfy flicks which are filmed in British Columbia, Romania or Bulgaria. Secondly, it has a likable cast with a good assortment of gorgeous women. Thirdly, the CGI creature is well done, unlike say the cartooney cat in "Saber Tooth." Fourthly, the material is taken seriously and never devolves into camp or goofiness. Fifthly, this is just a solidly made Grade-B creature feature. The filmmakers obviously took the time to make a quality product and this is seen in numerous scenes. For instance, the sparrow scene (you'll know what I mean when you see it), as well as the touching reflective sequences in-between bird attacks and the many atmospheric forest/moors images. I also like how the film touches on the human breaking point and insanity, which would certainly be a possibility (or probability) if this occurred in real life.

The initial review of "Roadkill" on IMDb gives the film the absolute lowest rating possible (1/10), which is absurd, not to mention inexplicably gives away the ending (?!). What a moron.

This reviewer refers to the youths as "stereotypical beautiful college kids" but, as far as the dudes go, I don't see any Brad Pitts, and as far as the ladies go, they're pretty hot, as noted above, but not unbelievably so. Also, despite the token minority they seem like a realistic circle of friends.

This reviewer also rags on the film for the huge RV, but this is a pretty big group of youths so the RV HAS to be big enough to accommodate them. Besides, we see huge RVs all over rural areas of North America, why would it be any different in Ireland?

BOTTOM LINE: "Roadkill" is a solid low-budget flying creature flick with a sideplot of ee-vil gypsies and is well worth your time if you're into these types of films. It's at least as good as "Wyvern" and I like it better than "Jeepers Creepers 2." The film runs 88 minutes.

GRADE: B+