G.I. Joe: El contraataque

As a film buff, I love seeing films alone on Saturday afternoons or Friday nights. As as result of my frequent attendance, I have come to know not to expect much from action blockbuster films. Yes, you get your usual incomprehensible hand-to-hand fights, buildings exploding and enemy gunfire as inaccurate as ever, with the inevitably minimal plot and screenplay. As the ending credits rolled, I stood up thinking "ehhh". The film definitely had some amazingly entertaining action sequences and awesome special effects, but you know, you can't really be THAT amazed with an action film. Not gonna lie, the screenplay in this film was pretty well written, and it included quite a few pleasantly surprising laughs. Dwayne Johnson has a big few months ahead of him with the release of Snitch (which I give a 7/10), the next Fast and Furious movie, and Pain & Gain. With this film, he did reinforce his true acting credentials, even though not much notable acting is observed in such a genre. All in all, if you're expecting something like Olympus Has Fallen, you might be dissatisfied. If you go in like me, with no true expectations other than hoping for some entertainment, you might like what you see.

The first GI Joe movie was so hilariously unrealistic and just completely bat crazy, that it was really a good 'just stare at all the explosions and enjoy' movie... but unfortunately this 2nd film is much, much less flamboyant and much less of an extravagant affair... they also removed Sienna Miller and Joseph Gordon Levitt which is an obvious down-point.

So overall, this film is much less of a spectacle than the first film, but the plot also isn't 'all over the place' and thus it has a better plot and story. So if you want your eyeballs bombarded by explosions and huge amounts of CGI, then rather watch the first film... but if you want a more structured 'action film experience' then this 2nd installment is better for you... both films are only barely 6/10 films though, and neither comes close to the action films greats like MI:Fallout.

¨Call me JOE¨

As a kid I was a huge fan of the GI Joe cartoons and had a vast collection of the action figures, but I never thought it was a very good idea to bring the franchise to the big screen. I didn't like the first film despite all the great special effects because the entire concept was just way too silly, and I didn't like this film all that much either despite the fact it had a better story and some more interesting characters. What really saved this film for me was a ten minute action scene in the mountains which was pretty amazing and made the entire movie worthwhile. It was one of the best action scenes I've seen all year. This second film was directed by Jon M. Chu (Justin Bieber Never Say Never and Step Up 2) and the screenplay co-written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (Zombieland), but very few actors are back from the original movie (only five) so this felt like a totally different movie. Retaliation is much better than Rise of Cobra but it still felt a little light due to the nonstop action. It's one of those movies you can enjoy for two hours but forget about once it's over. What it does have going for it is that is includes better action stars like The Rock and Bruce Willis. The Rock is probably one of the best contemporary action stars and he already brought the Fast and Furious franchise back alive again. He doesn't quite do the same with GI Joe, but he still makes this movie a little more enjoyable than the original one. Despite all the cheesiness of the plot I still had some fun, and the producers knew that the premise couldn't be taken seriously so they just played around with it.

The Joes continue to serve and protect the world under the leadership of Captain Duke (Channing Tatum) and his team which consists of Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock), Flint (D.J. Cotrona), and Jaye (Adrianne Palicki). They have a couple of successful missions until the team is betrayed by the US president (Jonathan Pryce) who is actually Zartan (Arnold Vosloo) infiltrated as him. Thus the Joes are forced to fight enemy forces inside their own government and are forced to receive help from the only person they can trust: retired General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis). Meanwhile Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) has conceived a plan with Firefly (Ray Stevenson) to free their imprisoned Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey). Snake Eyes (Ray Park) is determined to stop him with the help of Jinx (Elodie Yung), but the Joes are running out of time with the President threatening the world with a nuclear war. Will the Joes be able to stop the Cobra team before they destroy the entire world?

Channing Tatum and The Rock shared some funny scenes together and had great chemistry, but I would have enjoyed more screen time with them. Adrianne Palicki looked great in that red dress and was a good addition to the film. Cotrona and Willis didn't do much, but the highlight of the film was the mountain action sequence between Park and Lee. The film had its extremely cheesy moments, and I couldn't believe they even didn't care about the explosion of London. They continued as if nothing ever happened and celebrated the success of the mission without considering the devastating loss. I think that was probably the worst part of the film and the entire scene was probably used to attract people through the trailers. Retaliation is big and loud, anticipation for what is to come in the blockbuster summer movies. By the time summer gets here we will probably have forgotten all about this movie, but it was still a fun and entertaining two hours. Even those people that will end up hating this film will have to agree that the ten minute action scene between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow was pretty entertaining. As long as you don't think too much about what's going on you might enjoy this senseless film.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra feels like it belongs to a different age of blockbusters. It had a hard time fitting in to the modern generation thus most moviegoers never find it as appealing as the other films that was released on that year. Those rants can be true only in some reasons. The film is undeniably silly and dumb but it was never boring and has its own quality. Since people are now asking for darker and much serious blockbusters, this sequel reduces all the silliness that was displayed on the original. G.I. Joe: Retaliation is cooler and less cartoony. Unfortunately, it is also less exciting and terribly uninspired. The action may be better looking but the lack of fortitude and creativity made it fall short into another visual showcase stress.

"Awesome" is the main goal of this sequel. While the original was too corny to impress, this film darkens the tone and made it a bit down to earth. It abandons the silly gadgets and the ridiculous laws of physics that was shown in the original. But the film fails to be both dark and realistic. Not only because of those robotic fireflies and the mass annihilating missiles but the secret prisons and the government are unbelievably dumb to manage their job. Well, it's a blockbuster based on toys so it will never be too realistic. Deal with it while we are here for the fun. The dark aspects aren't dark at all. What they only do is to be serious. This seriousness blocks the potential joy and turns it into standard blockbuster bland.

The storytelling is quite messy. It's like an uninteresting version of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol with uninteresting characters. The storytelling from the first movie wasn't great either since it is cluttered with cheesy flashbacks. But it's worse here because it takes some twists that are absurdly incoherent. And so, it's all pretentious. The characters are boring and even the performances can't bring them to life. Dwayne Johnson is the only good thing among them though, Bruce Willis is trying to make fun of himself again as a crazy grandaddy, and the villains ham it up which isn't suppose to be a bad thing but they can't give enough personality to them.

The action scenes are acceptable enough to call awesome at least. With all the explosions and the none CGI-ed machines, it seems to be really exciting, but it's not. It does a fine job to be pretty but there's a difference between good looking and exciting. There's only a little suspense. If there is actually suspense and joy then it would be found at the mountain ninja fight but it's just mild and still glosses some slow motions in it. For the rest of the action, the heroes are always superior. Plus more explosions and slow-mos. The action is stylishly directed anyway. The fight between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow remains to be the only action that excites and one part of the climax has a nutty scene with The Rock riding huge vehicles and shooting like a badass. The production designs, special effects, and costumes gets better. What else to talk about it?

The absence of the Joes' ridiculous transportation and weapons, holograms, and other snazzy gadgets may please our modern viewers but it also forgets why this material is interesting anyway. Now we only get typical military stuff. It still has some crazy devices but it's limited compare to the first film. Rise of Cobra wasn't a classic. It's nothing more than a simple guilty pleasure. Same with Retaliation except this one can't even be completely pleasurable unless you want some endless visual coolness. Cool is not a bad thing but it could have been creative and much more exciting instead of showing off slow-mos on screen. To be fair, it's mildly entertaining and good to look at. If the film wasn't this visually awesome, it would have been an empty cinema. The series still fails to justify its source material.

The first G.I. Joe film was a surprise. I had expected to hate it or at least just enjoy it as a no brainer, but it wasn't so at all. I really liked the special effects, the villains, the story. The reason why I had made the effort of watching it was the appearance of Retaliation, which had really nice trailers.

So, after much waiting, I was able to watch G.I. Joe Retaliation... and I found it lacking in every respect. The jokes lamer, the effects cheaper, the story linear and impossible and the script bad, the acting worse, the fighting stupid. My conclusion: a failure that not even the presence of Ray Stevenson could not save. Arnold Vosloo practically did not act in this film, while some of the characters were killed outright for no other reason that I can see except that their actors didn't want to play this film.

Don't watch this. It's a waste of time.