The Flood

Twenty-six years after Casper Van Dien fought alien bugs in Starship Troopers, he's back battling massive CGI critters in The Flood, only the special effects are a lot worse and, quite possibly, so is Van Dien's acting.

Van Dien plays convict Russell Cody, who, along with several other criminals, is being transported to a new prison during a hurricane; due to the weather, the prison bus is forced to take a detour to a nearby police station, where the cons are to spend the night. Meanwhile, a group of heavily armed baddies break into the station to try and free Cody unaware that some huge bulletproof alligators, displaced by the rising waters, have found a new home in the building...

The Flood has clearly been inspired by Alexandre Aja's Crawl, but director Brandon Slagle has neither the budget nor the talent to do the premise justice. His film features terrible writing and abysmal acting, and boasts digital effects that would shame a Playstation (even the rain is digital), but even more distracting than the bad CGI is the botox pout of female sheriff Jo Newman; I can't take her seriously as a tough cop when she looks like a duck.

2.5/10, rounded down to 2 for expecting the viewer to believe that a botoxed blonde could beat up muscle-bound convicts twice her size.

Ok, there are other reviews here that all say the exact same thing: it's not a bad movie that you should avoid, it is truly an annoying way of spending your time.

So, let's do this without spoiling anything: we all know that there are alligators in this one, but did you know the CGI used is the same one that brought Godzilla 1998? And not only that, but they used the exact same tactic, they shot the movie in the dark, they put some CGI rain, I'm not kidding, it is CGI rain, hoping that the reptiles will look slightly better. But they do not.

Also, after taking inspiration from Godzilla, they went even further back in time and picked Terminator 1984. It was decided that the gators can not be killed by conventional weapons, but, today's conventional weapons not those from 1984.

A little Assault on Precinct 13 1976 and there you have it, they got a movie for you. Truly, truly bad in all ways.

I gave it two stars because the star power here is not negligible.

Anyway here is a little piece of information that will save you a lot of time. After the first gator attack, where you will see nothing more than bad CGI and a roll over performed with fast forward which makes it look even more ridiculous, you will know that what awaits you is nothing but regret.

Cheers!

With the release of 'Bait' in 2012 and 'Crawl' in 2019, and now 'The Flood' in 2023 it looks as if the industry is heading towards a new genre: flood/creature feature. 'The Flood' sees a very similar premise to the aforementioned films, only it wasn't nearly as effective or well made.

When weather conditions during a hurricane become too dangerous to drive, a bus escorting five dangerous criminals has to take a detour to the closest prison. The prison is run by feisty Sheriff Newman (Nicky Whelan). I couldn't help but think they wanted to make a heroin out of Newman in the vein of Nancy (Blake Lively) from 'The Shallows' or Sheriff Julie Forester (Elizabeth Shue) from 'Piranha 3D' - only Nicky Whelan doesn't have what it takes to pull it off. I found her much too weak to portray the heroin.

Another four unsavory criminals raid the prison in order to free one of their own, and a shootout ensues with the gang taking over the prison. However, the police station is flooded and soon the alligators find a way in - and they're hungry! And so begins their ordeal - trying to survive. We have a lot of characters for such a short movie, and set mostly in the police station, it did feel a bit cluttered. Sure, the alligators soon start eliminating some of the characters, but even so there simply were too many characters.

The film also suffers from poor acting, poor dialogue, poor visuals, a poor script, and just generally not that great on any level. There's hardly any suspense at all and I blame lack of enthusiasm from the cast and the director. This could have been so much better! Oh, and another thing; one of the characters suddenly returns during the final act after being viciously attacked by an alligator earlier on (presumed to be dead). And guess what, he's not even limping! In fact, he has no blood on him - not even a scratch!!! That's when it hit me again I was watching a B-movie...

Unfortunately, 'The Flood' got much worse towards the end. Rather give this one a skip. Watch 'Crawl' instead.

The only thing missing in this movie is Steven Seagal. You have been warned.

Long version: Stereotype bonanza.

Very, very bad CGI.

Abysmally bad acting.

Botoxed sheriff.

Dialog written and reviewed by simians.

Nonsensical animal (and human) behavior.

Cheapest location possible.

Made for the Great! Action Movies channel.

All the ingredients are present to make a timeless classic out of this "movie". All but one, Steven Seagal.

Hopefully The Flood 2 will include Steven in its stellar cast.

P. S.

Any reference or similarities to Crawl are there only to make potential viewers think it could be comparable or similar. It is not.

This has got to be the worst alligator based horror film ever made.

You can tell it was one of those one-line high concept pitches that Netflix is infamous for.

With the concept being something along the lines of Con Air meets Lake Placid, only, in a prison, instead of an airplane (or, alternatively...like Snakes On A Plane...only with alligators in a jail).

Because an airplane was clearly not in the budget.

The entire concept is idiotic.

A group of prisoners are being transported during a hurricane, near New Orleans, where they get re-routed to a local jail. There, a plan is hatched to break out one of the inmates...however, both operations get interrupted by an infestation of insatiably murderous alligators, who have been washed into the prison as a result of flooding from the hurricane.

But how exactly they have managed to infiltrate the jail, never really makes sense.

So, the fact that the gators are rendered with some of the worst CGI since Birdemic...alongside the awful acting...moronic script...and idiotic plot.

Give this film the three strikes it needs to be relegated to the dustbin of internet streaming service history.

Because it is absolute trash.

It's only redeeming quality is that the white trash Nazi character gets his comeuppance.

But that sure isn't enough to save it.

Steer well clear of this one...because it's not the backed up sewage that is stinking up the room here.

1.5 out of 10.