Dinoshark

worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin. repeat! worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin. repeat! worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin. repeat! worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin.

In an arctic region, melting glaciers cause the release of an ancient baby "Dinoshark". Three years later, the now monstrously adult beast turns up off the Alaskan coastline. It eats a diver and, apparently, develops a taste for human flesh. Migrating southward brings "Dinoshark" to tourist-rich Puerto Vallarta, Mexico which has a good food supply. Handsome young "Fin Seeker" tour boat captain Eric Balfour (as Trace McGraw) is the one who first realizes the danger and tries to stop the carnage. "Dinoshark" could disrupt the community's annual fiesta...

You would expect legendary low-budget producer Roger Corman to excel in Syfy Channel shark movies, but the expert fails to make the most of this assignment. "Dinoshark" is sloppy and substandard, even for the genre and TV movie outlet. As if to rub salt in the wound, Mr. Corman contributes a lackluster acting role (as Frank Reeves). The Corman fun is missing. Likable in the lead, Mr. Balfour is left holding the water. His attractive co-stars are led by beautiful blonde Princeton graduate and water polo captain Iva Hasperger (as Carol Brubaker).

*** Dinoshark (3/13/10) Kevin O'Neill ~ Eric Balfour, Iva Hasperger, Aaron Diaz, Roger Corman

The title promises some good kitschy schlock fun, and the film delivers it. A prehistoric beast that once roamed primeval waters is back, and very hungry. It visits Puerto Vallarta to hunt and feast on anything that moves.

The creature is designed pretty well, and it's quite an acrobat. It lunges out of water to chomp on copters and para-sailors. It hangs ten to grab surfers, and jumps over road blocks set up by the local policia. Why it's here is not really explained, but it may have to do with not eating for 65 million years or so; this thing has one dino-appetite. Nobody is safe, and Sharky devours a few people you wouldn't expect. Walk-on characters fare worst of all; appearing just long enough to encounter you-know-who.

A tour-boat guy, a girl scientist who works a menial job, and a big-dino-fish expert are the only ones that bother to do anything about the monster. By the way, the white-coated expert on prehistoric sharks is played by none other than B-movie wizard Roger Corman himself, in a rare turn in front of the camera. And he does a good job in the role, too.

Good action, combined with some cheesy effects, makes for a good ride as our heroes try to stop the ancient creature's hunger rampage. This one is pretty fun to watch.

After a piece of ice thaws near Alaska, the prehistoric dinoshark makes its way to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico to harass the tourists. And, of course, eat them.

The cover on this film is a bit misleading. What you see is a shark with the head of a T-Rex. In the actual film, though, what you get is basically just a shark (albeit one with a rocky, tough skin). And the graphics are just as bad as any other SyFy film.

If this film has anything going for it, that would be Roger Corman as Dr. Frank Reeves. Not that he is a good actor, but it is nice to see a legend like Corman showing his face -- especially since he is the producer of this trash. Lead actor Eric Balfour is just average. I could praise him for past work (the "Texas Chain Saw" reboot), but he was poorly cast here. Playing a Mexican local, he has no Latino blood in him and speaks with a Boston accent (despite being from LA).

Does this film have a global warming message? Hard to say. Clearly the dinoshark arrives because the ice caps are melting, but the film never explicitly states why. Could be man, maybe just an earthquake shook it loose. Either way, the real problem is that a shark survives being frozen for millions of years, not the global climate issue.

Although I thought "Sharktopus" was way over-hyped and poorly made, I have to say it is better than "Dinoshark". This film really has nothing going for it, unless you want to listen to the audio commentary and hear Corman try (and fail) to defend it.

A dinoshark comes out of hibernation from being frozen for millions of years, to dine on some human flesh.

I picked this one up for some cheesy, it's so bad it's fun, lets have a good time, type of film. I'm so disappointed to say that Dinoshark failed on so many levels to entertain me, to make me laugh at the horribleness of it all or even keep my attention. I have to recommend Sharktopus over this one.

Eric Balfour continues to appear in horrible films, I don't understand why. I would hope that he assumed that he could amass some cult fans out there, but this film is too much of a mess for even those people looking for bad entertainment. I had a decent time seeing Roger Corman on the screen though, he knows how to act in a film like this.

The kills are BORING. It's the same thing over and over and over again. Dinoshark swims up to someone, crappy shot of it eating someone, then fill the screen with red to disorient the viewer from the fact that we have no budget to showcase a decent death. Sharktopus was more creative. Dinoshark feels like Megashark and Sharktopus, minus all the awesomeness and fun. The creature design is decent, from what I could see of it. The only cool images this film had were of the over the head shots of the water. Seeing the shadow of it swim underwater was neat. The rest is garbage.

The continuity errors were enough to make me laugh, glasses on face in one scene, completely gone the next. Not to mention that one character has a BEARD in one scene, then nothing for the rest of the movie. It literally pops up out of nowhere. I could appreciate the lame continuity issues, had the film been more aware of this. Instead, it feels oblivious to it all.

The giant shark is able to swim in the shallowest water ever. Literally two feet away from the land, it pops up to eat a croc. What? Insert Jaws theme rip-off and lame death scenes and you have yourself a terrible film. I guess I was expecting a cheesy fun factor here, but instead I got a horribly boring effort that hopes to capitalize on the title of the film more than anything else.

Dinoshark is a miss.