Witch

Don't believe the high ratings for this film!

These people must be paid shills who are inflating the film's quality for profit.

Historical inaccuracies and inconsistencies abound. "Okay" was not used until 1839. A bowl of obviously plastic fruit is set on the blacksmith's table. Swords are flimsy aluminum. Acting is at best 2nd rate. The horseshoes that the blacksmith is hammering are absolutely cold, and made for gaming, not for shoeing horses. After he hammers these cold horseshoes uselessly for a while, he hands them directly into the bare hands of a customer, and later his wife, even though he was holding them with tongs while hammering them, indicating that they were very hot!

After William and Twyla escape from the jail, the guard who pursues them suddenly just gives up and goes back to town, even though the escapees were only about 20 feet ahead of them!

Johanna was caught red-handed, holding her parents' heads in her hands in the middle of town, yet William screams out at her trial, "How many innocent people have been sent to the gallows by these so-called trials?" Apparently, William does not consider fratricide or matricide as crimes worth prosecution!

"Twyla" was not used as a name until 1965.

AntiChristian bias also abounds! The town priest is a sadistic psychopath who thinks it's his job to cleanse the filthy peasants of their sins by corporal and capital punishment. The gray-robed shaman says that the devil is nothing to be feared. And all religion is a lie based on fear. Demons are evil, but the devil is OK? WTF? Who's the chief of the demons? Wouldn't he be the devil?

DUH!

The old shaman also claims to be William at a younger age. But this begs the question, how did young William's huge nose shrink so much over the years?

Of course, we have more of the parallel universe string theory nonsense that prevails in way too many stories these days. Conveniently makes even the most moronically rudimentary plot too complicated to make sense of! Utter garbage!

I got swindled out of $5 to suffer through this worthless mess, but I am writing this review so that perhaps, in your universe, you will be wise enough not to repeat my painful error!

May the Farts be with all you motherlovers!

So many reviewers seem to be hunting anacronisms like they are scavenger hunting in a trivia game. Come on, folks, we know this movie isn't perfect, but it definitely offers a few nice chills and aha moments. Drawing us in with atmosphere and mountig dread, subtly redirecting us away from the impending trial to the mysterious old man, then springing a new direction on the audience. As I said many times, delicious! Yes, I would edit a bit more ruthlessly and cut the whole thing by about ten minutes, but when I remember this film was made by sweat, faith and crowdfunding, I am blown away by its effectiveness! Kudos to Zammit and the whole team!

By gum, this is truly diabolical. Neil Marshall made a similarly-themed turkey a few years ago, yet this makes that seem like a bleedin' classic in comparison. No effort has been made here. Plot, acting, sets, wardrobes, dialogue, budget. One of the leads wears a terrible false beard throughout. Poor bugger, I felt for him because he seemed to show a bit more energy than the others; like a temp trying to get a perm job in the office. A well known newspaper suggested this was worth a go, but that rag's been going downhill too in recent years. I even paid for this on a streaming site, what was I thinking? I'm thinking I'll need to watch Captain Kronos again to erase this crud from my memory.

It is 1585 England. There be witches. There is a battle before it flashbacks to four nights earlier. The blacksmith's innocent wife is accused of being a witch. This is a British fantasy indie. I don't know why all the printed material says 1575 when the text in the movie says 1585. To me, that tells the story of this movie's amateur production. The first thing I noticed is that none of this feels real. This location feels like some present day reconstruction theme park. I do have to say that there are interesting singular images, but when it gets stretched out to full scenes, it becomes rather boring. In the end, this movie puts me to sleep.

Despite a few low lit scenes, this movie is so poorly produced it's hard to get into it. Story idea is ok, but the costumes and sets are so bad it's distracting. The costumes look like they ordered cheap bagged Halloween costumes from Amazon! Except the scenes in the woods, the sets look like they were build by a high school theatre club. The blacksmith is working with hammer and iron outside a shack and without a fire. It could have been improved and still been cheaply done. Low lighting or artistic photography would have improved it a lot. If there's nothing else that looks good, it's not a total waste of time.