Argylle: Agente Secreto

So if you are going into this, you have to know it's gonna be a little campy. Similar to The Kingsman, there are moments of heart, action, and absolute craziness.

Some of the scenes were a bit much, but overall this was a fun, and Interesting movie. Some of the scenes were overly dramatic and we're similar to Deadpool's opening scenes as well.

The twists in the story were definitely different, came one after another. All of the actors were on point, and I loved the switches from Argyle to Real life. The worst part was the CGI cat. And I don't think Samuel Jackson said MFer once. I was shocked.

First part, I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. I knew that the movie had gotten some bad reviews, but I had not read any of them. And I found myself thinking "but this is a great, over the top, spy action comedy, what is not to love about that!".

Then midways, something happens, and the movie spirals into all kinds of problems.

Firstly, it drags out for way, way, way too long. From fantastical action and good one liners it turns into a snore fest with redundant, lengthy scenes trying to establish some sense of emotional gravitas. Problem is, BDH has zero range, and became nothing but annoying and downright bad at what she was supposed to after.

Secondly, it bacame clear that it was style over substance. Which I one hundred percent can support, if the style is cool, creative, innovative, fun, esthetically pleasing. It never fully was, and it never really committed, becoming a jigsaw of puzzle pieces forced together that really did not fit.

Thirdly, under utilized actors. Lots of great small roles, none got to shine, and especially SLJ had one of his worst roles for years, mostly reduced to acting like an excited 5 yo in the end.

In the end, the movie was somewhat saved by an always fun and excellent Sam Rockwell. And unfortunately dragged down massively by, I'm sincerely sorry to say, a typically bad BDH. Not often I say this but the casting director really picked the wrong main actress with this one.

Matthew Vaughn is one of my favorite directors. He has three movies that are on my all-time favorites list: Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class, and Kingsman: The Secret Service. I love his style and consider him a master filmmaker.

His last movie, The King's Man, was terrible. I gave it 2 stars. But no one is perfect and it's easy to forgive one misfire. But with Argylle, we have another severely disappointing entry. It's not nearly as bad as The King's Man, but that might be why it's even more disappointing. It could have been great.

Why doesn't Argylle work? Movies are so complex, it's difficult to answer that question. Here are my guesses. First, the humor and attempts to be quirky feel off. I only laughed once. Second, there are a few cool action scenes, but nothing to write home about.

Third, what idiot decided this should be PG-13? There are so many deaths, but they can't fully show it. So it feels neutered. They do this to sell more tickets, catering to the casuals. But my theater was nearly empty on opening night. So casuals didn't show up and you alienate your true fans. Fourth, for what amounts to a popcorn flick, I was fairly bored and unengaged.

But I think one thing hurt the movie more than anything else. This is a great cast except for one role. The most important one. The main character. I don't dislike Bryce Dallas Howard. But this was a horrendous casting choice. I can list out 30 actresses that would have been better suited for the role. It doesn't seem too bad early on, but the further we get into the story, the worse it gets. It's not even a tiny bit believable.

I still look forward to future Matthew Vaughn projects. But I just found out that his next movie is a sequel to The King's Man. Why????? I can only hope he reevaluates and tries to get back on track.

(1 viewing, opening Thursday UltraScreen 2/1/2024)

Argylle is a disappointingly generic offering from Matthew Vaughn which does nothing to raise him out of the current slump he's in. Because up until now he's always been a master at taking familiar plot structures and using them to make a subversive take on tried and tested story tropes. He did this for superheroes in Kick Ass and for the spy genre in the first Kingsman movie. Argylle on the other hand barely has a single original idea in its entire runtime so it just doesn't feel like it's doing anything of substance with this fairly familiar story. It's not only totally uninspired as a viewing experience but also a pretty boring one at that.

I don't know what happened to the Matthew Vaughn of old who used to be so good at telling concise, focused stories because this yet another film of his that felt massively overindulgent. Though that may be to light a word to describe just how poorly paced this movie is because almost every single scene in this thing overstays it's welcome. No matter how many great action scenes and funny moments there were, when you drag these moments on for too long they lose almost all of their effectiveness. The totally bog standard story doesn't do anything to justify the runtime it's given and Matthew Vaughan's serious lack of restraint in editing robs the entire film of any pace or urgency.

I wouldn't really say I was that impressed in the writing or visual departments. It's a pretty bland looking movie overall with some impressive action but a massive overuse of CGI that frequently took me out of the film. There are many reasons my the 3rd act basically collapsed in on itself for me but the horrendous effects were a large part of it. It feels like ever since the first Kingsman, Vaughn has been trying to top the, now iconic, church fight scene to no avail. The last act dials of the insanity up to ridiculous levels and in no good way. Vaughn just throws a series of ludicrous, over-the-top action sequences in our face back-to-back and not only do they fall totally flat, they actually made me cringe.

But like any film other film, Argylle lives and dies by it's script and quite frankly it's terrible. There's barely a single original idea in this entire film and the whole spy-story-within-a-spy-story gimmick was interesting to begin with but it wore out it's welcome pretty quickly for me. The whole plot revolves around a standard McGuffin chase, a shadowy rogue spy organisation and hints of an amnesia plot. We've seen all this 100 times before and it's not used in a way that feels cheekily referential but just frustratingly lazy. I had very little investment in the Cavill sequences since they're established as fictional from almost the very start but I also didn't find Cavill's performance or the character to be that interesting. He's written as such a charisma vacuum and that's not something I'd ever associate Cavill with. It felt like they just kept forcing the Argylle character into the narrative to capitalise on Cavill's star power rather than because the character warranted repeated inclusion. I liked Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell as a pair and they did have good chemistry but some of the twists and turns related to their characters I found to be quite ridiculous honestly and it felt like Vaughn was pulling twists out of thin air rather than truly earning them.

I was truly hoping that Argylle would be the return to form for Matthew Vaughn that I've been waiting for but honestly this might just be the worst film he's ever made for me. I liked Golden Circle more than most but it was still a massive step down from the first, The King's Man on the other hand was a totally bland slog that never really justified it's own existence. But neither of those two films matched the level of wasted potential that Argylle exhibited for me. It just feels like Vaughn has totally lost sight of what made him and his films stand out in the first place and this feels like a bare template of a story without anything that makes it feel remotely original or subversive. I know it's only February but 2024 has already presented one of its biggest cinematic disappointments for me.

No, this is not a masterpiece, but if you just wanna have fun and enjoy a movie where you don't have to feel like you're in film study and need to analyze every single scene, then you will have a good time with this movie. I truly do not understand why there are people out there that will only like a movie if it's the greatest movie ever made where every scene is a creation of pure brilliance that must be discussed for decades to come. I guess some people either can't enjoy something unless it's flawless or they're just unhappy and refuse to have fun. If you don't like the movie because it's just not for you, then all the power to you, I have no criticism for your criticism of the movie; we're all different and allowed to have our own opinions and preferences. It's the reviews I see where people are just stating vague things that they say make the movie bad and it honestly makes me feel happy because it reminds me that I'm the type of person who looks for the good, not the bad, and that I can find joy in many things. I hope you enjoy this movie or enjoyed it if you're reading this post watch. If you didn't, but your reasons are honest and true to yourself, then that's ok too. Love yourself. Love others. Bye.