Virus X

Hi, how are ya? How did you spend your evening last night? Did you watch the Oscars? I didn't. I spent my time watching a sh!%%y movie called "Virus X", released by Lionsgate. Maybe I should have stuck with what George C. Scott once called "a meat parade."

Danita Herrington (Sybil Danning) wants a virus, and she wants it now! Why? For world domination of course! I wish I was making that last part up, but I digress. Anyways, Dr. Graveman (indie horror vet and Timo Rose regular Joe Zaso) has it made-an advanced stain of the H1N1 virus that kills in 3 days. Well, it ends up infecting a group of medical scientists, so they need to be quarantined and all that jazz. Can they survive? Why does Jarren (Domiziano Arcangeli) have such laughable hair? Will you be able to stay awake?

While I'll give it minor points for the cinematography, color tones, nasty gore effects and the ambient score by Shawn K. Clement, "Virus X" is just a bore to sit through. The acting ranges from non-existent (Arcangeli) to over-done (everyone else.) In fact, so many of the performances feature actors overacting as if they have guns to their heads that it almost becomes unintentionally amusing in that aspect. There's also no real reason given to care at all about the medical scientists, as we aren't given any real back story about them, and so many of them are such bad actors. The movie also has an intriguing element to the plot-well, everything except Jarron and Herrington-what with the viral fears that seem to pop up every few years, but the movie is unable to do anything with them. It just ends up feeling like a rough draft than an actual movie.

There's no reason to see "Virus X", except for the interviews that serve as a special feature. They are all done for a show called "Eye on Entertainment", hosted by a bubble headed blond named Dawna Lee Heising, that feels more like a parody than it does the real thing. I even looked it up after watching said interviews to see if it was real, and sure enough, it is.

So yeah, I've seen worse this year (hello "Season of the Witch"), but that's no real excuse. By the time the whole thing is said and done, the only thing you'll catch from "Virus X" is boredom. Next time, I'm sitting with the cool kids and catching the Oscars or something. It can't be as bad as this.

It's hard to describe this without feeling like I'm providing a spoiler in some way.

Yes, it's a low budget film and most of its weaknesses are connected to the lack of realism that a bigger budget would have brought. At the same time, the director disguises most of those problems and they don't distract from the story.

If you've ever seen the TV series Testees, this is something like that turned into a horror film. There's sort of a zombie tease going on with it too. Killing Room also comes to mind.

In short, doctors, labs, experiments, test subjects, secrets, blood, biting, infection, chemical weapons, funding from the rich and psychotic.

I did thoroughly enjoyed this modest scripted, but well shot, and presented sci-fi thriller : it was fun to watch without too many false pretenses. I read some of those earlier reviews on here: some should be reported . It's (especially in a couple of those above) so obvious that they haven't even given to this well produced effort a chance, but just watched it with judgmental disdain, and a personal hate so obvious that truly gets offensive . Those are what I call trolls, since if you (even would take the time) to just check them out they have a profile that's only reviewed this film, and, in ways that are unbearably silly, and should not be permitted by such a serious site like IMDb. That being said, it is not Academy Award's material, but, I believe someone with a little brain, and class would have figured it out at the premise. It's an average campy, suggestive, and standard sci-fi movie that is as derivative as thousand of others films that have been already made many times before but without deserving such offensive, ludicrous tones: guess one can only pity folks killing themselves with their own self admitted, widely demonstrative ignorance. I can only tell you that I was certainly not expecting much at all, and, that actually a friend almost had to force me to watch this. But, then, I was quickly pleasantly surprised and hooked into it by the slick cinematography, the special effects, the incredible music score composed by Shawn Klement, the good special effects, and over all accurate make up supervision. Sound design was also first class, and, if the script was trite, the direction was very promising, extremely professional, and, obviously savvy focused onto fighting sets that were "arranged" to cover up for some warehouse, or cheap sound stage's labyrinthine claustrophobic sensation and lack of better props. But, thankfully, the obvious was avoided thanks also to the use of extremely poignant angles, and, of some solid filmmaking's style that ends up making a good use resulting for the most part always highly effective, and never depressing, but, as chilling as it is frantically, increasingly harrowing. The climax was good, and there was even an attempt at some character's development: something you can hardly find in much more over hyped productions made with costs that "Virus X" did not have even in the sum of their catering services. However, it's just a shame Lions Gate hasn't put a tiny bit of effort to market this little cult movie with some respect, in order to keep away trolls with serious personal issues, from being almost the only ones to review and trash cowardly some good, decent work, I was at the very end almost shocked to find so professional, and over all, very entertaining. The cast was a mix of fresh faces, all interesting types, not only watchable, but actually for the most part all believing in what they were saying. Sybil Danning was a hoot as the billionaire villain, still looking great, and changing outstanding prime wardrobe in virtually every sequence she appears. Joe Zaso was believable as a shady professor, and, Domiziano Arcangeli's performance was strong, and unique in its own, despite what some may think of an arbitrary choice of look, and appearance: however, again here we are not meant to take things so seriously since he's just playing a robot becoming progressively envious of human feelings! That per se is one thing that could make many laugh just at the idea, but how do we actually know it could be impossible, since "the creature" is a manipulation of a genre's flawed script? He looks great, and makes the most of it, often stealing the show. Again, I might have given a little less positive review if I had been made believe to be watching a major motion picture, made with million of dollars, or an art house cult. But, we know that Grindstone releases normally what is primarily bad filmmaking, picked and offered often without much of an artistic criteria. Nonetheless, they are still way above some SyFy original presentations, and, not even to be compared to those really dreadful products, made by minor studios like the Asylum. And, "Virus X" against all odds, was a true confirmation of their much better intents. Watch for yourself and you won't be disappointed !

If you're one of the few people out there who look forward to Albert Pyun's movies, I think you're in for a treat. We may actually have the first director actually inspired by Pyun here. Along with the awesome overacting (at least one of them must have gone to Billy Drago's school of acting), I was in B movie heaven. Featuring a rich psychopath who essentially wants to rule the world (right out of a James Bond movie) and a gun-wielding killer who ruminates philosophically before he kills his victims, Virus X really knows how to lay on the cheese, and yet it has this deadly earnestness, like all the best unintentionally funny movies. That's not to say that this is a poorly made movie. It's actually surprisingly competent, and I thought the directing shows promise. Maybe with more money and a better concept, we'll see some good scifi thrillers coming from him. As it stands, this is more of a rainy day rental than anything else. Cybil Danning shows up as the aforementioned rich psychopath, in case you're a fan. I'm not. But, hey, it just increases the B movie cred.

I give movies 2 stars IF and ONLY if .. I can make it all the way through it without walking off. And that is where this belongs .. 2 stars and in the reject bin .. the one where you can buy 3 DVDs for a dollar. The acting was poor .. the audio/soundtrack was incredibly mediocre (and this was the best part!) .. the setting completely out of whack .. more like an abandoned cargo ship than a building .. the dialogue? .. it just doesn't get much worse than this .. (honestly .. I've heard worse but not by much) .. and there were all these little screw ups throughout .. so obviously made on a $15 budget .. they couldn't afford to re-shoot even a 2 minute scene that was screwed up.

Sybil Danning was the brightest spot in the whole movie .. all 8 or 9 minutes of her. She is the epitome of the B-movie actress .. competent .. but not a star. I wonder though .. is there ANY movie that Sybil is in that she doesn't appear either in the shower or the bath tub? Sadly .. she is showing her age and really should cut out doing those scenes.