Plan De Retiro

This movie straddles the line between campy spoof and dark comedy, and pretty much misses the mark on both. Although there is indeed some hilarity throughout, the convoluted criminality with absurd layers of hyper espionage makes it mostly a mish-mash mess of meandering maladjustments. It coulda shoulda woulda been much funnier except for the stilted direction, wasting some fine supporting actors. It might be worthy of a second viewing with the expectation of nothing more than nonsensical silliness which it does deliver as only a Cage movie can all the way through to what has to be an intentionally inept ending.

Just like most of you, i get exited when a new Cage movie comes up and want it to be a really good one. However, his movies are of a hit and miss category and you never really now what you're gonna get. This one is a complete waste of time. Plot has been seen hundreds of times, acting is sub-par, and action sequences are just silly. To sum this movie up: a colossal waste if time. I had to skip thru last 45 minutes of the movie just to see if it's leading someplace interesting, but it remained a boring pile of amateurism for the duration. Not sure who sits in these production offices for movie companies, and who makes decisions, but am pretty sure that I can do a better job. Unless they are laundering cash, this movie is an absolute "direct to the bin" candidate.

My A$$ Nicholas Cage has a retirement plan. He will star in his own embalming video: "This fluid is colder than my blood and smells bad but I guess that's what ppl do....... anyway it's seeping into my cranium now so gotta run. Think of me come Oscar & Golden (plated) Globe time! It was great staying active so long!! I SHOULD HAVE won something for Raising Arizona, & didn't. Shouldn't have won for leaving Los Vegas, although Elizabeth Shue should have. "The Golden (plated) Globes and Oscars should be talent/performance-based, NOT a popularity contest. In all seriousness this movie was funny for Nic Cage standards. He can be anything from outstanding to horse-dookie depending on the script and direction. For example watch "City of Angels" in which he (and Meg Ryan) made a far reaching sctript into an emotional, into genius work.

I dunno - it's the same type of thing he puts out a half dozen times a year. Watch at own risk.

I went into this movie with low expectations. Likely due to that I actually enjoyed it. Always like Nicolas Cage and he's really the main star of the movie and only reason to watch this. My main gripe is his daughter Ashley. She basically just plays an annoying character the entire movie and freaks out every chance that she can get. It's like she's having a panic every time she speaks. She has a continual look on her face like she suffering from a small bowel obstruction. I'm really perplexed that Hollywood continue continually churns out characters like her in these movies, which only act to annoy the viewer. She adds nothing to the movie in a beneficial way, and we never care for her even remotely. I would've given this movie one more star if they would've killed her off before it ended. Regardless, a fun, entertaining movie, but don't expect too much.

The best things that The Retirement Plan has going for it all hinge on the inherent comedic edge of its wacky premise. Sadly, these things are hardly ever the focus.

In fact, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen almost every good moment in this movie.

A handful of impressive moments arise when the great Nic Cage is allowed to flex his humorous energy as he kills people in hilarious fashion, and these moments were the one saving grace that kept the movie watchable.

Sadly, for most of the runtime, we're treated to a whole lot of nothing.

It's very poorly directed, having all the style of a straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie. And the script gives the characters absolutely nothing of interest to do and no intriguing interactions to have as they fumble their way through this generic, convoluted, banal, creatively bankrupt story without an ounce of a soul.

Oh, and the music sucks too. I'd be shocked if it all wasn't just stock action-movie music pulled off of iMovie.