Malibu Shark Attack

If I were the Malibu Tourist Board I'd seriously contemplate suing Sci Fi Channel - LA has its problems, but Malibu is portrayed here as a dismal, grey, litter strewn stretch of abandoned coastline with acres of brown - green seaweed. Killer sharks aside, based on this viewing, Malibu is not the place I'd comtemplate taking a holiday.

I won't dwell on the humourless, lunatic storyline, the substandard SFX, or wooden acting; seriously, Peta Wilson (the only competent actor) had a long fall from the days 'La Femme Nikita'...either that or she simply wasn't taking her career seriously anymore...or she needed the paycheck.

I watched Shark Attack once as I was in the mood for an undemanding bad movie; which is the mindset you'll need when you watch this...either that or find Piranha 3D!

Quite possibly the most wasted 20 minutes of all my life, that's all I could stand of this disaster! I have seen dozens if not hundreds of B movies in my life but really, this movie has to be classified as a Z movie. Horrible dialogue, worse acting, and a plot so thin that you can sift flour through it. From the opening sequence to just the simple physics of the tsunami, it's just so improbable. I mean I know movies are movies, but just the smallest symbolance of reality is needed to make it worth watching in fast frame. I will give most movie at least a half hour of my time but as I said earlier, 20 minutes in and I was ready to vomit. 200 channels and still nothing on. Really I need to write ten lines to really convey how bad this flick is.

MALIBU SHARK ATTACK is the usual Z-grade shark nonsense, except made without the backing of the SyFy Channel or The Asylum this time around. It doesn't make much difference. This is an independent Canadian/Australian addition that still manages to screw up the storyline by including lots of HORRIBLE CGI effect scenes, alongside an idiotic script and some terrible performances.

Plot-wise, this isn't dissimilar to the Aussie film BAIT, with characters finding themselves trapped in a flooded location with sharks after a tsunami, but while BAIT had the money to be partway believable, this is just nonsense. A group of bad actors splash around and scream in about two foot of water, and are occasionally menaced by goblin sharks which look like they belong in a Playstation 1-era video game.

The movie is packed with whiny characters and only a couple of sudden deaths is enough to keep you watching. Otherwise it's a waste of time, a film surpassed by most other entries in this crowded sub-genre of shark attack movies.

OK. I saw this piece of rubbish on our Space channel. I couldn't believe how bad it was. It was so bad Donkey Punch was actually better. Clichéd. Bad acting or was it over acting. Still I watched with fascination this train wreck. Or was it a shark wreck. As to the sharks. Well they were, what can I say, over the top!

If there was one thing I kept hoping for it was that all of them, and I mean all of them were eaten by the sharks. It would save us a lot of pain.

But sometimes it is just fun to watch a really bad movie. No not Ed Wood bad but well just bad.

Watch if you dare!!!!!!

This 86 minutes of garbage does not even vaguely qualify as a film. An utterly appalling waste of time - the people responsible for this outrage ought to be publicly flogged as a warning to others contemplating similar movie-making, to not even attempt to add yet more dross to this already inundated genre. Shocking.