- Dean Ziegler: Janita, double stock my mini bar, please. 1019, Thank you. Taco Bill, back in the saddle. Hey Ned, get some honey on your stinger? I love it
- Tim Lippe: Do you realize I used to just stare and stare at you when you were teaching us about the rainforests or whatever? And I would think "I wonder what Mrs. V looks like with her clothes off." And then, boom, we run into each other in line at True Value and boom, here we are making love. Like, once a week. It's like it was fate or something. Did you ever used to look at me and think dirty things?
- Macy Vanderhei: You were twelve.
- Tim Lippe: Right.
- Dean Ziegler: Lemke may have been a class-A deviant, but what the fuck does that have to do with selling insurance?
- Tim Lippe: She's not my mom! Okay? She's my girlfriend and we're basically pre-engaged.
- Dean Ziegler: Woah woah. My bad. Beautiful woman, in any case. Wait a minute, what's "pre-engaged"? 'Cause if i was "pre-engaged", I would be pre-porking anything with a pulse.
- [first lines]
- Tim Lippe: [voice-over] One of the reasons I love Brown Valley so much is that when you do business here, chances are good you know the person you're dealing with.
- Tim Lippe: Hello, Mrs. Vanderhei.
- Macy Vanderhei: It's Macy, Tim. I told you to call me Macy.
- Tim Lippe: Sorry, I keep forgetting. It's a hard habit to break.
- Macy Vanderhei: [in a sexually suggestive tone] Well, you'd better get it right soon, or I'm gonna have to make you stay after school.