Baywatch: Guardianes de la bahía

Baywatch is super cheesy, low brow, campy, ridiculous, etc, etc.....but you know what? That's enjoyable sometimes! You don't knowingly buy a ticket to a movie like this and then go write a review afterwards complaining about plot, teenage boy humour, and character development. hahaha. I had low expectations, shut my brain off at the door, and enjoyed this movie for what it was.

Baywatch... Based of the 1990s TV series starring David Hasselhoff, about lifeguards... with some bewbs in between... And now, it's a movie, starring The Rock... Now in theaters, in my country...

Everyone already knows when your source material is "this", it was a recipe for disaster, and oh boy, it IS bad (but they know it!)

Let's start with the acting. Literally all the main characters are great. Dwayne Johnson is likable as always. Zac Efron is also good in this movie. The bromance between The Rock and Efron is probably the best thing in this movie. Alexandra Daddario... from Percy Jackson to this, she really does improved and in this movie, she probably gave her best performance so far. What's surprising is the comic relief guy, played by Jon Bass. He's no annoying/trouble making guy, he's actually helping the team, which is great, well done writers. Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera is also great as C.J. and Steph respectively (although C.J. was overly sexualized, but that's pretty normal in this movie, obviously). Priyanka Chopra is way to good for this movie. I mean she could took something else rather than this. The cameos from Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson were also great.

Everything else is... 70% garbage. The story is awful. So convoluted, so many plot holes. The pacing is uneven. The fight scenes were so disappointing. There so many quick​ cuts and close ups in the fight scenes, especially those involve The Rock. You don't need quick cuts and close ups for the fight scenes, you got a former wrestler in this movie! He definitely can fake fight scenes. The visual effects in this movie is a joke. There's not a single CGI looked convincing in this movie.Every scenes that should be intense is gone thanks to the easily noticeable CGI fires and CGI explosions. I was expecting more practical than CGI, but now I'm disappointed. (But again, they kinda know it! They know it's bad, so they kinda tried to be more bad that the original!)

Let's talk about the humor. It didn't work, like 80% of it. They tried so hard to make you laugh, but most of the time, you'll be like: "..." The recurring jokes also gets annoying the more you've heard it. There's​ a lot of penis and bewbs, and most of them were so unnecessary. There's a conversation between Daddario and Efron in which Daddario kinda "forced" to bounce her bewbs (personal opinion btw). I mean: WHAT. (-_-) You don't needs bouncing bewbs and big balls all the time! Just give me a good movie that has a good story that is based from a really bad source material and I give this movie a immediate 9/10 stars. Seriously, are the writers writing an actual script for Baywatch, or a fan- fiction version of Baywatch? Because I'm pretty sure every 90 seconds in this movie would involve bewbs, or penises.

Overall, this is definitely a bad movie that knows itself is a bad movie. It's the perfect disposable stupid fun movie. If you're a casual movie-goer like me, you'll have mixed feelings for this movie. For anyone else, skip this movie and watch Dunkirk or Apes 3 instead. But you'll probably enjoy this movie more if you're drunk (or if you dare, drunk while you're mind is "flying", then you'll woke up finding yourself leaving the world, or if not, you'll woke up in a rehab facility.)

Final Score: 5/10. The acting is the only saving grace of this movie. And slomo bouncing bewbs.

On a personal note: *SPOILER ALERT* How could a fat guy can get laid with a blonde sexy chick, while others don't? What logic is this? What kind of sorcery is this?

I watched this once and hated it, but then watched it a few years later with my mom and we both cracked up. The key is to not take it too seriously, it's Baywatch.

Lots of pretty people and tight outfits, but again, it's Baywatch.

I thought the comedy was pretty simple but it fit the movie. Lots of hard-on jokes and flirting.

I think the best part is all the stuff that happens to Zach's character. Especially the morgue scene. Absolutely hilarious.

I say, if you like movies like "Pineapple Express", "Superbad", etc then you'll probably like this movie.

Might I also suggest partaking of substances to help you enjoy yourself.

I don't review movies too often, but when I saw all the horrible reviews for this movie, I felt the need to write my own. I have a feeling that most of the people who rated this movie poorly haven't seen the movie at all (like a lot of ratings on IMDb) or just have no sense of humor at all. Is this movie action-packed? Yes! Does the movie include a lot of dick jokes, bouncing boobs and swearing? Yes! Did I enjoy the movie? Oh yeah! Will it be an Oscar winner? Of course not! It's not that kind of movie. People take things too seriously.

If you liked Baywatch like I did, check out Zac Efron in Dirty Grandpa and Dwayne Johnson in The Other Guys.

My review for this movie is sort of late as I had zero interest in viewing it when it came out. The trailers looked silly, bad, cringy so I skipped. Now, almost 6 years later it has come to pass that there was nothing better on the TV, so I gave it a chance.

Is the movie Bad? Yes. It is very selfaware though, over the top, silly and dare I say... fun. The movie is just ridiculous in a good way, making fun of but also tributing the original series.

The plot is simple, the actors are just having fun on set. The CGI is laughable, but I believe on purpose. There is a part with a rescue from a burning boat. The flames look so fake that it was funny in it's own right (sharknado level CGI in fact).

Do not expect inteligent humor, do not expect a well thought out plot, effects or acting.

In fact, this movie is probably best consumed with a group of friends and a side of alcohol. I went into this movie with absolutely zero expectations and came out pleasantly surprised with how much I was entertained.