El ciempiés humano

Sometimes in life you have to make a stand, even when it's unpopular to do so.

We here in the USA and in many other countries have become societies where just about anything goes in the name of entertainment or making a profit. You want to play "a game" where you can blow off people's heads then watch the blood squirt in High Definition ? No problem you can buy a variety of them easily. You want to see porn films where the actress pretends to be underage or that she is getting raped mercilessly, it's out there. You like snuff films? They have simulated ones of those too for your viewing pleasure. Probably even real ones if you look hard enough. There are even films of women and men having sex with animals for those of you into that. I suppose the people that watch and support these films justify it by thinking "Hey, I'm not doing it myself...I'm just watching someone else do it". But what does that say about you as an individual if this is where you seek entertainment and a sense of fun? These films are all an insult to human dignity, something you would think we'd all have a common ground to stand against. How could they instead become something viewed for enjoyment?

This film reminds me of the various medical atrocities the Nazi's inflicted on unfortunate prisoners. Even the doctor in it is a German. I won't list those atrocities here, but they were real they happened, they weren't fictional or simulated. If you could get your hands on actual films of those Nazi experiments and there outcomes would you watch them for fun? Is squirming uncomfortably at a visual assault to your sense of right and wrong a thrill for you? Does that thrill justify whatever you are watching? If so, you might consider some therapy to find out why that feeling, watching the suffering of others, is a pleasure for you. What if a victim in those films were someone you loved, your sister, brother or child perhaps, instead of total strangers? How would you feel knowing someone watched their suffering for enjoyment? If you wouldn't view those experiments then don't watch this assault on human dignity either fictional or not. Make a stand be proud of having morals.

I feel ashamed to be a member of the human race when I see a film like this is making money for some sicko movie makers. No, it's not just a metaphorical comment on anything as some would like you to believe. Stand up and say "ENOUGH !". Don't be afraid if you're insulted and ridiculed for having a sense of morality in a world where a growing number of people have none. Do what you know in your heart is morally right.

Please do not spend money to view this film. Send a message to those that try to profit by making them. These people are exploiting human dignity, OUR dignity, for the sake of their own wealth. Don't be a part of it.

Human Centipede, The (First Sequence) (2009)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A couple dumb American girls (Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie) are on a road trip in Germany when they head out to a party but suffer a flat tire. They decide to get out and walk and soon find themselves inside the home of Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) who drugs them and then takes them hostage. He captures another man and starts his dream operation of making a human centipede. There's a lot of hype going around about this film being the most shocking, disturbing and outrageous horror movie in decades but don't believe it. This isn't an exploitation movie so don't expect any gore, shocking violence or disgusting situations based around what actually takes place in the film. For the most part this is a pretty straight-forward film that goes by the "less is more" belief. Yes, what these three people go through is horrific but the film doesn't try to exploit the situation so those just looking for scenes of gross shocks are going to be disappointed. I think, for the most part, the film works because it's simply too original not to. The idea of putting three humans together (butt to mouth) to create a "dog" that can walk around with its master (the doctor) and take orders is a dark matter but it's interesting. The basic idea of this taking place is rather ridiculous and the film knows that and that's why we get some dark humor from time to time. This starts early on when the girls first get stranded as a perverted German man drives up to them talking dirty. The film also falls into some very stupid moments like who and why the girls end up at the house. They are on a road, which they could follow to get back to town or at least find someone yet they decide to walk through the woods where they're bound to get lost. Why would they be dumb enough to walk through the woods? Because if they had done the smart thing the movie would be over. As I said, this movie is rather tame in terms of violence and gore but I found this to be rather refreshing. The director constantly keeps us off guard because there are times when he throws things in that we wouldn't expect. Take for example the scene where the two police come to ask the doctor if he knows about the missing girls. In most movies the person would act innocent and make sure not to raise any suspicion. Not here as our man has a meltdown and makes sure that the police will come back. The visual site of the human centipede is actually pretty good and I give all three actors credit for making it work. I really didn't care for any of them in their "human" roles, especially the two girls, but as one long creature they work. Laser on the other hand is rather brilliant as the coldness he brings to the role really makes it work yet at the same time there's just something about him where you never really hate him. Strange that someone so evil could be so cold that it pretty much numbs you to the horror he's doing. It's certainly a very good performance but don't expect him to be welcomed at next year's Oscars. The movie isn't going to appeal to everyone but I do think the subject matter is going to keep people away who would probably find themselves into the movie more than they'd expect.

"The Human Centipede" will definitely repulse most of its viewers. It's not so much as gore-filled as say, "Hostel" or "Zombie", but it's the idea behind the movie that will leave a lingering, nauseating feeling days after you've seen it.

The story is simple: 2 American girls on vacation in Germany are invited to a party. They rent a car and on their way they get a flat tire. Unable to fix the problem by themselves they walk in the middle of the rainy night and arrive at what looks like a decent, upper class residence. A creepy old man let's them in so the girls can use his phone. Right from the start we know this guy is evil through and through. It seems the German guy is a respected surgeon, known for his "siamese twins" separation procedures. But the guy (who is ironically called "Josef", a nod to the angel of death himself: Josef Mengele)wants to try a new surgical procedure on the girls and with the help of another victim (a Japanese guys), he will create what he dubs, "The Human Centipede".

No explanation is given as to why this Josef guy wants to do a procedure that serves no purpose at all (unless he wants to sell freaks to traveling circuses), nor any background is ever mentioned or hinted at (it seems the director wanted to avoid any audience sympathy for this deranged doctor). Still, "The Human Centipede" remains a harrowing experience to watch.

When the movie was over, all I could think of was that the girls would've save themselves from A LOT of trouble had they known how to change a flat tire. Sure, they were going to a fancy party, were all dressed up and stuff but they never ever checked for a tire replacement in the trunk. They thought it would be "much easier" to walk in the middle of the night with the pouring rain on them in a country where they barely knew anyone or the language.

If it was me directing, I'd call this flick, "The Flat Tire"!

Okay, American tourists with a car that breaks down - of course they go wandering through the dark German woods (you could play a drinking game and have to take a shot every time they say "Lindsay" and "Jenny" to each other - you'd be wasted) - and they come about a remote house and wouldn't you know it - just their luck - the house belongs to a complete nutjob surgeon who used to separate conjoined twins and now is obsessed with stitching people together. I'm no doctor, but there seem to be major flaws in his medical design - oh well. The film is kooky but well made, the lead guy (who looks a bit like Lance Henrickson) gives 100% and is fine as the mad doctor but the whole concept reeks of teenage boys getting stoned for the first time and playing a game - let's come up with the grossest thing that could be done to you in surgery. That's what it plays like - a teenage boy horror/fantasy/gross out. But with films like Saw and Hostel, it was only a matter of time before there was something like this and before long, they'll be other weird concepts that will try and top this one. Look out for ManBaby - see we sew a baby on the back of a guy who hates kids! It's creepy and it's funny! Hoo boy. Of course there's an itch to see something like this - the same itch that made people pay money to go see a freak show back in the day.

Some movies are so much talked about, you have to see it. This movie was made popular through the animation series Southpark. In the episode called "HumancentiPad", season 15 episode 1, Stan was connected to an Ipad the same way. After this episode aired, everyone was wondering where Southpark got their inspiration, well, the movie called "The Human Centipede". And the movie went viral and became a cult hit overnight. Yes, the acting is bad, but on the other hand, the effects are nice. Yes the story is thin, but on the other hand it's easy to follow. Yes, it's more gross then scary, but on the other hand, it do got it's scary moments. If you really want to see the most gross, intense, well made movie ever, you have to see Martyrs (2008). See, the Dutch movies always are recognizable because they have something different, and that makes them always enjoyable.