El ciempiés humano

This is a disturbingly twisted, absurd yet original movie ... and it is the first of three! Made on a miniscule budget, The Human Centipede gives its audience some truly horrid moments. Two young (and annoying) American girls are in Europe and headed to a club when their rental car blows a tire in the middle of nowhere after dark (in these types of horror films -- surprise, surprise!). Needing assistance, they seek out the nearest shelter ... which just happens to be inhabited by Dr. Crazy-Psycho-Sick-Brained-Bastard. Offering the girls water while he "calls" for help, he has secretly drugged them to get them where he wants them (them along with another unfortunate third).

From the VERY literal and non-misleading title of the movie ... one can pretty much assume what he wants them to become. This is one of the sickest movies I have probably ever come across, and yet ... it is watchable -- highly watchable (as one continually asks themselves WHAT is coming next?!).

German actor Dieter Laser plays the mad doctor (who was world-renowned for separating Siamese twins) very well as he is most-convincing as a warped genius (who has LOST it). He may play for some slight camp ... but in this movie its allowed to work. There are many, many, many plot holes (or craters) here and there throughout the movie, but they can be overlooked because something with a title-like-this is given some liberties.

While this film was titled specifically for the curious-minded, it is not for the feint of heart or queasy. Disturbingly twisted and absurd, The Human Centipede is not a film that one will quickly forget.

"The Human Centipede" will definitely repulse most of its viewers. It's not so much as gore-filled as say, "Hostel" or "Zombie", but it's the idea behind the movie that will leave a lingering, nauseating feeling days after you've seen it.

The story is simple: 2 American girls on vacation in Germany are invited to a party. They rent a car and on their way they get a flat tire. Unable to fix the problem by themselves they walk in the middle of the rainy night and arrive at what looks like a decent, upper class residence. A creepy old man let's them in so the girls can use his phone. Right from the start we know this guy is evil through and through. It seems the German guy is a respected surgeon, known for his "siamese twins" separation procedures. But the guy (who is ironically called "Josef", a nod to the angel of death himself: Josef Mengele)wants to try a new surgical procedure on the girls and with the help of another victim (a Japanese guys), he will create what he dubs, "The Human Centipede".

No explanation is given as to why this Josef guy wants to do a procedure that serves no purpose at all (unless he wants to sell freaks to traveling circuses), nor any background is ever mentioned or hinted at (it seems the director wanted to avoid any audience sympathy for this deranged doctor). Still, "The Human Centipede" remains a harrowing experience to watch.

When the movie was over, all I could think of was that the girls would've save themselves from A LOT of trouble had they known how to change a flat tire. Sure, they were going to a fancy party, were all dressed up and stuff but they never ever checked for a tire replacement in the trunk. They thought it would be "much easier" to walk in the middle of the night with the pouring rain on them in a country where they barely knew anyone or the language.

If it was me directing, I'd call this flick, "The Flat Tire"!

Sometimes in life you have to make a stand, even when it's unpopular to do so.

We here in the USA and in many other countries have become societies where just about anything goes in the name of entertainment or making a profit. You want to play "a game" where you can blow off people's heads then watch the blood squirt in High Definition ? No problem you can buy a variety of them easily. You want to see porn films where the actress pretends to be underage or that she is getting raped mercilessly, it's out there. You like snuff films? They have simulated ones of those too for your viewing pleasure. Probably even real ones if you look hard enough. There are even films of women and men having sex with animals for those of you into that. I suppose the people that watch and support these films justify it by thinking "Hey, I'm not doing it myself...I'm just watching someone else do it". But what does that say about you as an individual if this is where you seek entertainment and a sense of fun? These films are all an insult to human dignity, something you would think we'd all have a common ground to stand against. How could they instead become something viewed for enjoyment?

This film reminds me of the various medical atrocities the Nazi's inflicted on unfortunate prisoners. Even the doctor in it is a German. I won't list those atrocities here, but they were real they happened, they weren't fictional or simulated. If you could get your hands on actual films of those Nazi experiments and there outcomes would you watch them for fun? Is squirming uncomfortably at a visual assault to your sense of right and wrong a thrill for you? Does that thrill justify whatever you are watching? If so, you might consider some therapy to find out why that feeling, watching the suffering of others, is a pleasure for you. What if a victim in those films were someone you loved, your sister, brother or child perhaps, instead of total strangers? How would you feel knowing someone watched their suffering for enjoyment? If you wouldn't view those experiments then don't watch this assault on human dignity either fictional or not. Make a stand be proud of having morals.

I feel ashamed to be a member of the human race when I see a film like this is making money for some sicko movie makers. No, it's not just a metaphorical comment on anything as some would like you to believe. Stand up and say "ENOUGH !". Don't be afraid if you're insulted and ridiculed for having a sense of morality in a world where a growing number of people have none. Do what you know in your heart is morally right.

Please do not spend money to view this film. Send a message to those that try to profit by making them. These people are exploiting human dignity, OUR dignity, for the sake of their own wealth. Don't be a part of it.

Motto: "Behind every great man, there are two great women." 'The Human Centipede' gives the viewer a voyeuristic glimpse of the life of hobbyist Dr. Joseph Heiter whose ambitions are both exotic and daring. In the opening scene we find Joe sobbing about his failed past projects. We watch and feel Joe's strength as he makes the decision to put the past behind him and to face the future with renewed optimism. But, as Joe soon finds out, a hobbyist's life is not easy. The next day, Joe learns that a true hobbyist has to make great sacrifices, if he is to complete his project in the best possible way. The enfolding scenes serve as a reminder to all of us that a passionate man does not settle for less than perfection. Joe rests at nothing, does not sleep, and does not eat until his project is finished.

After what is truly a great start of his project, we follow Joe as he is dealt a setback and faces it heads-on. Fearing for the worst, in an exciting turn of events, Joe's inventiveness ultimately gets him back on track. From there on, he is heading straight for success. When the last part of his project is finally completed, we experience Joe's intense fulfillment through a rare display of affection (while he is a passionate and intense human being, Joe is not a people's person). In an emotional scene, we find Joe celebrating his success and taking pictures of his accomplishment. In a particularly gripping moment, Joe holds up a mirror to his project, as if for it to see its own beauty. The scene concludes with Joe lifting up the mirror like a trophy—an obvious tribute to the many successes of the German football team.

But his success is short-lived. It all starts with a phone ringing. Before Joe realizes what is going on, agents of an intrusive government are at his doorstep, threatening to jeopardize all that Joe has accomplished. Will the forces of bureaucracy prevail, or will Joe conjure up a clever plan to save his project, his spiritual livelihood? You will have to see for yourself.

The international cast delivers an enticing performance. No one plays a German like Dieter Laser (Joseph Heiter). Watching Ashlynn Yennie's convincing characterization of an American tourist (Jenny), it is hard to believe this is her debut role in a motion picture. It is a privilege to see Ashley Williams perform as the character Lindsay. Even a novice viewer should be able to recognize her extensive background in theater and musical theater and her world-class training at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Last but not least, although he did not speak any lines in a language that I could understand, I think Akihiro Kitamura played the part of some Japanese guy wonderfully.

All in all the film makes for a promising start of what should proves to be an exciting franchise not unlike such hits as Look Who's Talking Now and Harry Potter.

Viewer discretion: some scenes graphically depict the consumption of alcohol. Furthermore, the word 'ficken', a German verb, is uttered early on in the film. Finally, throughout the film brief flashes of nudity (nipple slips) can be seen.

Okay, American tourists with a car that breaks down - of course they go wandering through the dark German woods (you could play a drinking game and have to take a shot every time they say "Lindsay" and "Jenny" to each other - you'd be wasted) - and they come about a remote house and wouldn't you know it - just their luck - the house belongs to a complete nutjob surgeon who used to separate conjoined twins and now is obsessed with stitching people together. I'm no doctor, but there seem to be major flaws in his medical design - oh well. The film is kooky but well made, the lead guy (who looks a bit like Lance Henrickson) gives 100% and is fine as the mad doctor but the whole concept reeks of teenage boys getting stoned for the first time and playing a game - let's come up with the grossest thing that could be done to you in surgery. That's what it plays like - a teenage boy horror/fantasy/gross out. But with films like Saw and Hostel, it was only a matter of time before there was something like this and before long, they'll be other weird concepts that will try and top this one. Look out for ManBaby - see we sew a baby on the back of a guy who hates kids! It's creepy and it's funny! Hoo boy. Of course there's an itch to see something like this - the same itch that made people pay money to go see a freak show back in the day.