El ciempiés humano

Is it just me or was I the only person who thought this was a dark humor? To people who thought this was a shock movie I would have to disagree with you. The movie was straight to the point it didn't end with what you expected from the title of the movie. I thought the movie tried to portray a dark humor feel from it from how bizarre the acts were and how some the actors portrayed the characters. At times I laughed and at times felt bad for the people when the nasty scenes occurred. I also didn't find myself bored because of dragged out scenes or unnecessary talking. But in my opinion, I don't believe the movie was too gross and if you have a quite dark humor you will find this movie quite humorous.

I have heard LOTS of things about The Human Centipede. Lots of negative things and lots of positive things, and I have to start off with what is easiest.

For all of it's premise, honestly, the film was not AS gory or sick as I imagined. Honestly though, I am glad. With a film like this it's hard to review properly because it's almost as if a film like this will exist whether people hate it or not. I mean, it's meant to disturb. BUT one thing has to be said, the film was, surprisingly, very well-made. I expected a 'shocking' and nasty B-grade horror. The only B-grade aspect of the film was the performances from Ashley Williams and Ashlynn Yennie. When I first saw them on screen they come off very phony and unlikeable, especially when they were chit-chatting about usual chatter. BUT even their performances, as they became more and more scared, actually worked, and dare I say it, pretty fantastic for a film like this. I don't know if it was actually acting or what, but one could really feel for their physical and emotional distress.

Surprise after surprise, the film has one central fantastic performance, and that is from the twisted Dieter Laser. Like I said before, the film didn't only concentrate on shocking us, but it also showed us a lot of this man's twisted mind. Also, the lack of music helped build real tension.

Ultimately, I actually have to recommend this film. It's VERY well-made and has one terrific performance, and the film itself, for all its sick premise, at least isn't a sequel or a horror remake. It boasts originality, although it doesn't do anything completely original regarding how the premise works out, The ending is also brutal, and I am sure it will linger in the mind. Still, it's hard to really 'love' a film like this. Compared to Saw, it is actually a 'better' film.

Some movies are so much talked about, you have to see it. This movie was made popular through the animation series Southpark. In the episode called "HumancentiPad", season 15 episode 1, Stan was connected to an Ipad the same way. After this episode aired, everyone was wondering where Southpark got their inspiration, well, the movie called "The Human Centipede". And the movie went viral and became a cult hit overnight. Yes, the acting is bad, but on the other hand, the effects are nice. Yes the story is thin, but on the other hand it's easy to follow. Yes, it's more gross then scary, but on the other hand, it do got it's scary moments. If you really want to see the most gross, intense, well made movie ever, you have to see Martyrs (2008). See, the Dutch movies always are recognizable because they have something different, and that makes them always enjoyable.

Motto: "Behind every great man, there are two great women." 'The Human Centipede' gives the viewer a voyeuristic glimpse of the life of hobbyist Dr. Joseph Heiter whose ambitions are both exotic and daring. In the opening scene we find Joe sobbing about his failed past projects. We watch and feel Joe's strength as he makes the decision to put the past behind him and to face the future with renewed optimism. But, as Joe soon finds out, a hobbyist's life is not easy. The next day, Joe learns that a true hobbyist has to make great sacrifices, if he is to complete his project in the best possible way. The enfolding scenes serve as a reminder to all of us that a passionate man does not settle for less than perfection. Joe rests at nothing, does not sleep, and does not eat until his project is finished.

After what is truly a great start of his project, we follow Joe as he is dealt a setback and faces it heads-on. Fearing for the worst, in an exciting turn of events, Joe's inventiveness ultimately gets him back on track. From there on, he is heading straight for success. When the last part of his project is finally completed, we experience Joe's intense fulfillment through a rare display of affection (while he is a passionate and intense human being, Joe is not a people's person). In an emotional scene, we find Joe celebrating his success and taking pictures of his accomplishment. In a particularly gripping moment, Joe holds up a mirror to his project, as if for it to see its own beauty. The scene concludes with Joe lifting up the mirror like a trophy—an obvious tribute to the many successes of the German football team.

But his success is short-lived. It all starts with a phone ringing. Before Joe realizes what is going on, agents of an intrusive government are at his doorstep, threatening to jeopardize all that Joe has accomplished. Will the forces of bureaucracy prevail, or will Joe conjure up a clever plan to save his project, his spiritual livelihood? You will have to see for yourself.

The international cast delivers an enticing performance. No one plays a German like Dieter Laser (Joseph Heiter). Watching Ashlynn Yennie's convincing characterization of an American tourist (Jenny), it is hard to believe this is her debut role in a motion picture. It is a privilege to see Ashley Williams perform as the character Lindsay. Even a novice viewer should be able to recognize her extensive background in theater and musical theater and her world-class training at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Last but not least, although he did not speak any lines in a language that I could understand, I think Akihiro Kitamura played the part of some Japanese guy wonderfully.

All in all the film makes for a promising start of what should proves to be an exciting franchise not unlike such hits as Look Who's Talking Now and Harry Potter.

Viewer discretion: some scenes graphically depict the consumption of alcohol. Furthermore, the word 'ficken', a German verb, is uttered early on in the film. Finally, throughout the film brief flashes of nudity (nipple slips) can be seen.

"The Human Centipede" will definitely repulse most of its viewers. It's not so much as gore-filled as say, "Hostel" or "Zombie", but it's the idea behind the movie that will leave a lingering, nauseating feeling days after you've seen it.

The story is simple: 2 American girls on vacation in Germany are invited to a party. They rent a car and on their way they get a flat tire. Unable to fix the problem by themselves they walk in the middle of the rainy night and arrive at what looks like a decent, upper class residence. A creepy old man let's them in so the girls can use his phone. Right from the start we know this guy is evil through and through. It seems the German guy is a respected surgeon, known for his "siamese twins" separation procedures. But the guy (who is ironically called "Josef", a nod to the angel of death himself: Josef Mengele)wants to try a new surgical procedure on the girls and with the help of another victim (a Japanese guys), he will create what he dubs, "The Human Centipede".

No explanation is given as to why this Josef guy wants to do a procedure that serves no purpose at all (unless he wants to sell freaks to traveling circuses), nor any background is ever mentioned or hinted at (it seems the director wanted to avoid any audience sympathy for this deranged doctor). Still, "The Human Centipede" remains a harrowing experience to watch.

When the movie was over, all I could think of was that the girls would've save themselves from A LOT of trouble had they known how to change a flat tire. Sure, they were going to a fancy party, were all dressed up and stuff but they never ever checked for a tire replacement in the trunk. They thought it would be "much easier" to walk in the middle of the night with the pouring rain on them in a country where they barely knew anyone or the language.

If it was me directing, I'd call this flick, "The Flat Tire"!