Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

Awful. Dreadful. Total waste of time and film. Do not see this movie. I work in a movie theater so I get to (have to) watch EVERY movie that comes out, and this is without a doubt the absolute worst movie I have seen in a long long long time. I could not find even one redeeming quality in this movie. This film should be the death-knell of not only Nick Swardson's entire career, but Adam Sandler's "Happy Madison" production company should be banned from making any more movies until Sandler publicly apologizes for this horrible horrible waste of film. The dialogue sounds like it was written by three horny middle-school boys, the acting was strained and half-hearted, the plot was spoon-fed predictable. Some movies are "so bad they're good." This isn't one of those movies. This movie is just bad. Worse. Worst.

I like Nick Swardson. His show "Pretend time" on Comedy Central is hilarious and he's usually good in supporting roles ("Grandma's boy" & "Just go with it"). But wow, did this movie suck. "Bucky Larson" is flat. The jokes aren't funny and the acting for the most part is uninspired. Don Johnson was the highlight of the film and Christina Ricci did what she could but there are no redeeming qualities in this film.

I went in with low expectations because of the bad reviews and word of mouth, and yet I was still disappointed. This film deserves to be in the bottom 250 on IMDb. With the talent that was involved in the project and the premise of a porn comedy, "Bucky Larson" should have been funny. But instead I found myself wishing it was never made. I feel sorry for the chumps who paid $10 to see this garbage in theaters.

"Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star" bombed big time when it was released to theaters. It may have been because it was released in the beginning of September, when there are few people going to movie theaters. It may have been because the movie is about the porn industry, which has never been a popular movie topic for mainstream moviegoers. It may have also been because the relentless television commercials for the movie were very annoying. But I think the main reason why it bombed was that the audience smelled it for the stinker that it was. There are no laughs anywhere to be found in the movie, for one thing. But it also has a weird tone, like it was written by a dirty-minded and mean-spirited eight year old. It's not very audience-friendly, to put it mildly. The cast is spirited, but they can do absolutely nothing with the terrible script.

Oh, one more piece of evidence for its badness: The end credits for this 2011 release list a 2010 copyright, suggesting that Columbia Pictures didn't know what to do with the movie for quite some time.

Based on the edge-of-your-seat trailer and the early Oscar buzz, I had extremely high hopes for this film. Easy to say, I was not let down.

From the awe-inspiring cinematography to the tour-de-force performances from the A-list cast, it's nearly impossible to classify this movie as anything less than a masterpiece.

The emotional climatic twist left the entire nearly everyone in the theater in tears, myself included. Never before had a film had such a powerful impact on me. It truly has changed the way I look at the world.

Mark my words, this will soon become a timeless classic required by film schools across the country. This is not one to miss.

See that $20 bill in your wallet? Wipe your ass with it instead of paying to see this movie. You will receive more amusement watching a feces-stained Jackson swirl around the bowl than watching this gross-out piece of water buffalo diarrhea.

Not even an immature 13 year old will find this film amusing. It uses the same three jokes the entire movie: Bucky has buck teeth, he shoots semen at the mere sight of a naked girl, and he has a tiny penis covered with a bush of hair. Boom, that's it. That's the movie.

Game over man, game over.

If I could give this film zero stars, I would. Not even Stephen Dorff can save this penguin excrement.