The Black Knight Returns

This movie makes me long for Ed Wood.

The only reason I want info about this middle school grade movie is to track down the people who made this movie and have their Internet cut off.

This is NOT YouTube..... Delete it from IMDb. (I don't care if they're paying customers.)

I'm forced to write a whole ten lines about this to have it accepted as a review. I could write 10 lines but they'd get me banned from here in the blink of an eye.

Here are a few things wrong in the 1st 2 minutes: - No sound effects in the opening fight scene. Well, there is, but only between music clips. - The main bad guy has so many festering pimples, I wanted to woof my cookies. No.... it isn't makeup. He even has a few scabbed over on his ear lobes. - My 10 year old made his own costume for Halloween that was better (really). They should have hired him. - Instead of running away from a discovered bomb, they have time to gaze into each other's eyes, hold hands and wait for the explosion. But it makes sense if it was suicide for being suckered into acting in this movie.

I saw this jewel of a movie for only 10 pesos at Ciudad Guzman's SORIANA Supermarket, and I couldn't no not help myself that day. I just had to have it at all cost. Haven't seen it yet but for 10 pesos it has to be good as hell. I actually didn't intend to buy a movie that day. I was only on my way to Tapalpa, and I was just going in for booze, but, come on man, it was 10 pesos. How can you say no to that, god! I was actually looking for a reaction from the cashier, but I have a feeling she had no soul. I don't want to open it for no reason, because some day it may be worth a lot of money, but then again, I have a party next week, and I may need to entertain my guests with it. 10 pesos man, unbelievable!

A film like this was obviously great fun to make but to watch it you gotta be something special. The main points of note are the special effects, I have seen better from total amateurs on youtube. And the time dilation effect generated in your brain, this movie should be played to criminals in jail that way a 10 year sentence would seem like 100 years and with no repeat offenders. The writing is OK the acting isn't so bad, so if the budget was a bit higher this movie could have been worth watching but mostly its not. So if you have a choice of 90mins extreme torture or watching this movie think very carefully how you want to spend the time as its a close call between the two choices.

I could not make it through the first 2 minutes without turning it off. So this review is for the first 2 minutes only.

2/10 stars is sufficient to tell you:

1) The movie is not worth the time I just wrote this. But I am writing this so that you will not watch more than the 2 minutes.

2) If you believe this was a grade school assignment, then it is definitely merits 2 stars for sheer effort.

3) If anyone who was involved in creating, producing and selling this movie are to read this, please try doing something else for your own sake.

Easily the most awful movie made in years. Devoid of plot, good acting, intelligent writing, good action or even good-looking stars, one can only ask why this movie was made. With a threadbare plot based loosely on some kind of psychic rebirth of the Black Knight, who fights crime, the movie rambles on for nearly 90 minutes on nothing but the naked audacity of its makers. Any two clowns on the street could manage more realistic fight sequences than are staged here. The quality of this movie is not even bad-funny, just too bad for human viewing. As of this review, 7 viewers have, on average, managed to give this film just over 5 stars. I can only ask: are you kidding? A high school film class could easily best this effort. If I could have rated it zero, I would have. Do yourself a favor and forget you ever saw this title on IMDb.