El espantapájaros de Amityville

Unwatchable.....total garbage. Just another stupid made for TV terrible movie. Acting is the worst possible. I was hoping the scarecrow would end up killing all those whining idiot women. Avoid this trash at all costs. Not even worth a 1 rating.

AMITYVILLE SCARECROW is one of those ulta-cheap British indie horrors that seem to be doing the rounds these days, and of course it has nothing to do with the perennial American film franchise that's turned up a few gems along the way. So another cheap cash-in, in other words. This one's about a family doing up an old cornfield but finding themselves haunted by a scarecrow that goes around butchering people off-screen. It's dire stuff indeed, too dark, too plodding, badly acted and written by someone who has no idea how real-life people really communicate. As a horror film, it's a complete failure. Par for the course, in other words...

This film begins with two estranged sisters named "Mary" (Kate Sandison) and "Tina" (Amanda Jade-Tyler) meeting to discuss the will their mother left behind after her death. More specifically, their concern revolves around a campground which Mary wants to sell while Tina wants to renovate and expand upon it instead. Of course, considering that Tina previously stole Mary's husband, the issue of the campground is actually secondary at this point. However, as might be expected, all of that is put aside when a scarecrow suddenly comes alive and begins killing everyone. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I initially thought that this was going to be one of the few good films in this massive series due in large part to the nature in which the characters were developed. Likewise, having a scarecrow as the supernatural entity behind the killings certainly didn't hurt either. Where the film suffers, however, is the exact location of this supposed campground and its relationship to the actual house in Amityville. I say this because I don't recall any mention of a cornfield being situated in Amityville or, for that matter, any mention of the actual house there either. Instead, the audience is given an alternate story about a child molester who was killed by Mary and Tina's mother for the murder of their older sister. Or something like that. It's all kind of confusing. Throw in weak special effects and a complete lack of suspense and it all adds up to a rather weak horror film, which I have rated accordingly. Below average.

Now, the word "Amityville" has been a synonym for a low budget, dubious produced movie of questionable entertainment value, yet I keep returning here to watch, hoping for this particular one time is that one time where an "Amityville" movie is a good "Amityville" movie.

And thus, I opted to sit down and watch the 2021 movie "Amityville Scarecrow" from writer Shannon Holiday and director Jack Peter Mundy. I have to be bluntly honest and say that I harbored zero expectations really for this movie, so writer Shannon Holiday and director Jack Peter Mundy had every chance to impress, bedazzle, and most importantly, entertain me.

However they failed to do that. "Amityville Scarecrow" was a slow paced movie driven by an almost non-existing narrative. So it was insanely difficult to find anything worthwhile or enjoyable here as the movie trotted on at a pace that would put a snail to shame.

The acting performances in the movie were fairly wooden and not overly convincing. It felt staged and amateurish at best. There were some familiar faces on the cast list though with Kate Sandison and Nicola Wright, but that is only because I watch way too many low budget B-movies.

For a horror movie then "Amityville Scarecrow" was a swing and a miss. There was nothing scary here at all, unless you consider the insanely slow pacing of the narrative as being scary. So if you enjoy horror movies, you will not be in for a particular treat here, should you opt to watch "Amityville Scarecrow", which I don't recommend you do - some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to.

Visually then "Amityville Scarecrow" was not impressive either.

My rating of "Amityville Scarecrow" lands on a two out of ten stars.

What can I say?

Geography may not be my best subject, but I thought Long Island was in the states, not across the pond.

The cover art was nice. The acting was meh.

I have seen better, scarier movies on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon.

This was a bad, glorified Lifetime Network movie with all the back and forth drama between the characters. And this is not a dig on Lifetime, I have seen much better movies on that channel.

The only thing I liked the most about this movie is when the end credits rolled.