Shark Season

This ranks alongside Snow Shark Ancient Snow Beast and House Sharks as the worst shark movies ever made.

I love shark films. Even the cheesy low budget ones. But this was garbage.

Michael Madsen literally phones his performance in. And in the most wooden way possible.

He has phone conversations with some random guy in a boat who has no relevance to the movie whatsoever. And most of the time you see this guy from his back. It was obvious that this guy was not an actor. The conversations he has with Michael Madsen are hilarious. Each conversation has them repeatedly say the same things over and over but with some dialogue changes. It is extremely bizzare.

Now to the blonde lead of the movie. You will see her space out of lot with some really strange facial expressions. You don't know if she is trying to look shocked, struggling to remember her lines or holding in a fart.

Not too mention the out of place 10 minute conversation she has with the other girl about love and drama while stuck on a rock escaping the shark. There are more important issues for them to be concerned about then that crap in their situation.

The shark is the typical z grade quality CGI. In some cases each time you see the shark you hear some weird wooshing/growling sound. And ironically, the shark is the best actor in the film.

The only good thing about this movie is that it's funny. And that was not the intention of this film.

Make sure to listen to Michael Madsens horrible phone message to his characters daughter 'This is me....calling you..... something along the lines like that. Awful

UPDATE - Changing the movie title to DEEP BLUE NIGHTMARE on Lifetime is not going to change how bad this movie is. I don't know why they bothered changing the name

This movie did have some positives, upping the rating from a 1, and in this case even a 2. Now this movie isn't great, but their are some stuff in here to enjoy. The movies premise is actually quite good for a survival thriller and getting away from a Great white Shark. And it does add stakes and entertainment value.

The movies soundtrack is awesome, It's groovy and has some songs that makes you want to get up of your feet and even dance, and foreshadowing what the actual reality is and what it will become. But, I do enjoy the music and it doesn't overstate it's welcome. The water is absolutely stunning to look at, lots of cool camera shots to look at, and some great views on the island. And clever wide shots. Creating more of an atmosphere due to the characters surroundings. However that's where the positives end.

The acting for the most part was hammy and cheesy, and did feel phoned in. For example, the father doesn't really look all that interested in the movie role, heck I Don't really blame him, I'd rather play snooker. And talk to a wall. But, I Don't know maybe that's just me. Or he genuinely is phoning it in and doesn't want to be their. And the script is so poor, there is nothing worthy about it. Most of the characters Don't even look at each other even if their talking to each other half the time. And it wouldn't be a horror movie without the characters making dumb decisions, there's even an entire list of them on display here!

The man decides to go for a swim, despite the girls being suspicious of their being something in the water, it isn't dumb but it's slightly weird. As does the Blond chick. They all stay on an isolated island, where there's an even bigger one only a few meters away. And they kiyack 3 miles out, which is in no way safe or relatable to anyone.

Those are some of the dumbest decisions that take place in this movie, it does do one thing right in all of this. And builds the tension and stakes by having the tide come in at the 2 girls, and have them stranded in the middle of the ocean with a Shark on the wearabouts. Which does make for a fast paste swim when they do see someone's trying to rescue them from Sea. Now time for my overall thoughts.

Would I recommend this film?

Nope..., I suggest you do anything else and avoid it, I watched it so you don't have to. It's not the worst film though, 3/10, 2.66.

Wow just wow - how can the acting be so bad from everyone concerned in this? Surely there are some good actors in Hollywood who would act for peanuts or nothing just to get their names known? I surmise the actors; and I use the term loosely in this, have either given the producer a few... ahem... casting couch favours or are family members!

Michael Madsen - well what can we say but that syrup was just a laugh-a-minute especially when he is on the phone it literally starts moving back exposing his real grey hair underneath I couldn't stop laughing and sorry Mike but when you are past your best it is time to give it up and you are 10 years past your best but he was obviously thrown into this calamity just to add a name to the cast list! He actually looks like my gramps with a dodgy black syrup, some dreadfully bad blusher on his cheeks and the turkey neck of doom. Watch the end sequence closely - he is so frail he cannot put his sunglasses on with his hands shaking or was he inebriated? Either way what a poor old sod, i actually started to feel sorry for the old fella, how very, very embarrassing to go out in your career this way - better to grow old gracefully!

As for the movie? Well it is Asylum and a tv movie so you should really not expect much and try and review it in that context but even so the shark effects were pretty basic. The problem is the acting, it really takes away a lot from the movie and makes it hard to watch and just adds another Shark Turkey movie to the seemingly endless list!

I had such a good time watching this , best entertainment I've had in a while .

Where to start ?, Well Michael Madsen for one , what was with the birds nest on his head ?

And what was he staring at when he was on the phone ? I thought that his eyes were going to pop out of his head .

I was more scared of him than I was of the shark !

Next, the daughter , was she smoking something throughout ? , and you know what ? She probably could have caught the shark in her mouth eventually ,because she never closed it !

From terrible camerawork , to terrible acting , to terrible dialoge , this was one hell of a great watch !

Pour youself a large drink and enjoy !

This was very silly LMN movie - I felt sorry for the shark!!

Please note:

1. Michael Madsen needed a hair color touch up - his grey roots are clearly visible.

2. Michael madsen needed a cough lozenge - he sounded very horse.

3. Just a silly plot - sinking island?

4. This reminded me of JAWS in the 1970's (I saw it then) but that scared me - this one made me laugh.

Have many drinks before viewing - REQUIRED!!!