Creepypasta

Disjointed, horribly directed, and the horrors/jumpscares are more suited for a kid's funhouse. Just don't waste your time. I DNF after 45 mins. The pastas weren't even recognizable pastas. It was obscThey are boring ones they found in the junkyard of Reddit and somehow didn't realize they belonged there. I cannot fathom how anyone writes, produces, and stands by this kind of trash. This isn't even a B movie. It's a full-on F. Too dark, too quiet, no conjoining storyline but we keep coming back to one strung-out guy who we care nothing about because no attachment is ever formed between the viewer and any of the characters. This film just plain sucks.

I have been a fan of internet horror stories for years and the prospect of a movie based on the stories i grew up with seemed to be interesting. Where it falls flat is that none of the films featured here relate to any popular or under the radar story on the Creepypasta site.

To call this a Creepypasta movie is a genuine insult to not only the viewer but authors of internet horror that have made master pieces compared to this hot garbage. While the movie has two cameos from memorable characters from Creepypasta the have nothing to due with the plot of the film and are only there for the audience to point at the screen and mention that is a character from Creepypasta.

Overall, a waste of time and poor marketing by using a memorable name in horror to release something unrelated and disappoint fans looking for their nostalgia to be shown on screen.

What if we sat a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters and waited for them to churn out something vaguely similar to VHS? This is it. The framing device is similar. The segments are for people who think the ones in ABCs of Death are too nuanced and bloated. There is nothing good about this movie. I have watched more terrible anthology horror than almost anyone and will continue to make the same terrible error in judgment over and over but this really should be my rock bottom. Spare yourself. Go watch Creepshow or Cat's Eye or Bodybags or Southbound. Watching any of those for the 10th time will be orders of magnitude more satisfying.

Waking up in a strange house, a man is told to search for the CreepyPasta he originally wrote stored on the laptop of a recently-deceased writer to be able to leave.

The Good Stor(ies): Black-Eyed Children-Left alone in her house, a woman is tormented by a series of black-eyed children who chase her around the house to get what they want. This one here really could've been something but its main factor is simply that there's not much of a chance to make it make sense. The atmosphere is spectacular with the old house in the middle of a raging thunderstorm as the Gothic atmosphere is quite great at showing off how creepy and unsettling the kids are. However, this being so short and not offering a reason for the hauntings makes it fly by without much of a chance to build a story.

Corner of Your Eye-Desperate to prove a story, a woman tries to look into a fanciful story about seeing strange beings out of the corner of your eye is a hoax. This is another solid enough story at play here with the whole idea being far more plausible and intriguing than anything else featured here since it plays into a creepy urban legend. However, this is way too short to do much of anything beyond introduce a great concept for the type of story this is trying to tell and ends up getting further undone by the outright silly creature that emerges as the central figure in the story so everything is a bit underwhelming at the wrong point.

Do Not-Unwilling to follow the norm, a man who makes a point to forgo everything people tell him to find himself under the restrictions for the first time in his life. There was a lot to like here. The short-form way it builds up the story is incredibly fun as there's just enough context to figure everything out about who he is and what he is going to find himself under as the series of phone calls and creepy videos start to interact with him as he breaks the rules. This is all fun and heads to a creepy resolution if only the goofiness of the threat didn't come off as laughable like the previous segment.

Invoke-Looking to spice up her life, a woman convinces her husband to try out invoking a spirit who lives behind a mirror which soon becomes all too real. This one is much like the previous entry where the atmosphere present here manages to overcome an immensely cliched and familiar storyline. The idea of the being living in the mirror and coming for who summoned them after they've performed a specific ritual is a done-to-death topic that's utilized quite better in other entries. Still, the suspense of the situation and the scenes in the bathroom are chilling enough to be quite likable here, elevating this above its familiar factors.

The Bad Stor(ies): Back to Bed-Curious about not being able to sleep, a woman grabs a local ghost-finding app on her phone only to realize too late it works better than she imagined. This is a fairly predictable if still decent enough opening. The idea here is way too cliched and not that original in the slightest, focusing on way too familiar of a setup and way too obvious a finishing stinger to make it worthwhile. The atmosphere is decent enough and does get somewhat chilling with the appearance of the creatures hiding in the shadows which plays off the main story quite nicely, but again the general familiarity does undo that a lot.

Jumby-Trying to bond with her sister, an older daughter grows increasingly skeptical about the presence of her imaginary friend who proves all too real. Again, much like the original effort, the whole idea of this one is way too familiar and one-note to make much of a difference regardless of how good the actual setup is. The main sequence here showing it coming to life and stalking the family member is a solid enough scene showing the figure at its best, but it's just too wrapped up in the overly familiar storyline and way too short of a run-time to make much of a difference here.

Blue Moon-Arriving at a remote house in the woods, a woman subjects her partner to the whims of her cult's sadistic secret of hosting demons in people's bodies. This one wasn't too bad, but it does have a lot of drawbacks. The imagery and atmosphere here are the main thing as that's usually quite effective with the demonic entities exerting their influence in rather likable scenes. This is just way too short to make much difference as the concept is decent enough yet has no context or backstory to work with so most of what happens is without a lot of impact. It could've been stretched out into a feature quite easily.

The Grey Man-Trying to get her latest story finished, a writer finds herself stalked and tormented by the subject of her latest creation coming to life. This is the most cliched and underwhelming entry in the entire film as the segment does nothing original or clever after its initial setup. The whole idea is one that's been done countless times before so it's not a surprise what's going on, a lack of intrigue is dire, and the resulting stalking scenes fail to resonate as the whole thing becomes bland with the resolution being so obvious. This one has no point being involved here.

Hada-After a normal night trying to sleep, a young son finds that he's being visited by a strange being and must try to find a way to get away from the being. This one was pretty fun and had some solid aspects to it. The central story, like so many of the stories here, is just so cliched and inherently familiar it does undo some of the scares here, but thankfully there's still a lot to like with the way the spirit is shown to inhabit the shadows continually popping out of the dark to surprise him. The darkness of the location and the universality of the setup are good enough to help this along, making for a rather enjoyable story.

El Cuco is Hungry-Babysitting for a young kid, a woman finds that their attempts at opening a strange door led to disaster after releasing a strange creature. This one is quite odd as the defacto longest story overall but doesn't add much to what's an intriguing setup. The idea at play is quite intriguing as for how they get the creature released as this has some fine atmospheric touches. It's all again overly familiar and cliched where it's based again on the concept of someone stumbling upon a creature and how to release it which is what happens here as this one goes along.

Deadstream-Waking up in a strange house, a man is told to search for the CreepyPasta he originally wrote stored on the laptop of a recently deceased writer to be able to leave. This is a wholly underwhelming and troublesome wraparound. The main setup here is a decent way to introduce everything with the mysterious performer instructing him to look through the laptop for his story, but there's not much else to this with the only thing going on in between the stories is the gradual descent he suffers which look impressive but doesn't make for an immersive story as everything here is just undone by a massively disappointing resolution to end on.

Rated Unrated/R: Violence and Language.

Like the title says it is a low budget horror with not much going on. I don't even know what the story was. It was clearly an amateur filmmaker trying his luck and 99% of the film is just average film making and a waste of time watching but unlike really bad films this one does build up a little bit of atmosphere. And one scene that does live up to its name. There's a 5 minute clip that is well worth watching but like with any horror you can't just skip to the good bit. You do need to let the atmosphere build which this director does manage to do. I just wish there was a better coherent story and far more creepy pasta scenes! The one where the boogeyman comes out to play, great. Could compete with the film Sinister. Unfortunately far too little and no story leaves this not worth recommending and a measly score of 4 stars. Still, props to the director for making one very good horror scene. He has potential and I wish he'd made more use of that. Not many can made a horror that gives you the creeps. Like not even jeepers creepers did that. Still jeepers creepers was far more entertaining. So it's not all just about the one perfect creepy scene.