River

Hey, this is River speaking. I'm an owl now. Hoot hoot.

Where do I start? I first watched the film and was really disappointed. Weird acting. Horrible dialogues and almost no plot. It was really hard to stick to it, because it was just super boring. Then I did some research and found interviews and even a making of. They all seem nice somehow and maybe even tried to make something here. But it lacks on all ends. I mean honestly. I had a little sympathy, but it is also really pathetic to make a making of about yourself and a film, that nobody cares about and nobody heard anything about anyone in the film yet. You can make that maybe if the film itself is a success. Then I also realized that the writer, director, producer and camera person is one person. And it seems to be somehow a personal project. Emily Skye had a troubled relationship and so on. And River in the film is, quote : something special. WTF.. sounds like major ego issues. What even happened to her? I hated the music. I don't mean the sound, but the cringy spring break music. While watching I was also asking myself why the mother of river acts so super weird. Who cuts a cucumber like that and looks like a lunatic. And why is she talking so weird. Then I read she is deaf for many years already. Respect for that, but why would I choose someone like that, when she just sounds so weird and is has nothing to do with the story? It is just irritating. I give 2 out of 10 for the effort though. But it's definitely a film to skip. You could literally make a better film with an iphone.

This film was just trash. Absolutely brain dead. 1 star for the music. Even though it was a little too present, but some nice sounds. I regret having spent money in this. I didn't want to watch any more of it after 10 minutes but went until the end and it just didn't get any better. It is not that everything has to be explained, but at least something. You can't just demand the audience to accept everything without any justification. There is no story.. Someone being sad and grieving is not a story. As much as I'd like to support other women... Worst film in a long time.

Do you know the so bad it's good again thing ? It's not the case. The movie just sucks unfortunately. It's superficial nonsense and nothing really happens. One could cut this film into a shorter version than the previous short attempt. I wish no one to have a therapist like the one in the film. What kind of store is this even ? The characters serve no real purpose and in almost every scene some characters pop up out of the blue. River and Amanda are doing things in the garden and looking for the time capsule after being inside doing other stuff. And then eureka Jamie pops up. Like he was wandering around for hours in the backyard and no one is asking dude how did you get here. As if a 12 year old wrote that script. Oh boy.

Some may think 1 out of 10 is a bit hard, but think about all the films in the world. I don't even know if there is any film I'd give 10. I'd give Alien a strong 9 and this is a real masterpiece. I'd give 9 for apocalypse now and 8 for shining. 1 for this is even too much. There is almost no story arch at all. It repeats itself all the time, the characters are flat and the writing is... I don't even know... just not good. No suspense.. no conclusion or anything in the end. As if she took the short and just threw a few characters in. You could cut out that bearded guy entirely and it wouldn't change a damn thing. I suggest to read a few books.