Smiley Face Killers

There isn't a single aspect of this movie that works. It has some if the dullest shots ever seen on film, half of the movie is literally just people walking and acting confused. It's even a bigger disgrace that they dared to even remotely allude that the events depicted are based on a true story. If you plan on watching it just because of Crispin Glover, he's in the movie for like a minute and has no lines.

I really wanted to like this movie. Witn a description like "about a handsome young soccer player," I understood it was going to be a vehicle to present a half to fully naked Ronen Rubinstein. Got it, no problem, but you can do that and have an engaging storyline. This one forgot that part.

Two of my writing pet peeves were repeatedly exercised throughout this movie. The first, dialog that wanders around and takes 7 or 8 lines of exposition, when a good edit and trust in the actors could have got you there in 2 or 3. Show me someone is depressed, not have three characters tell him he's depressed. The second is when a character reflects back on some really important, life impacting thing that happened in the past, and then goes on to tell the impacted character about it. Generic example: "Remember when your arm fell off that time? You were so scared and in pain. There was blood everywhere, and we had to go to the hospital and have it stitched back on." Pretty sure they'd remember all that, and it's kinda rude to spell out the pain to a friend like that. Again, needed another edit.

Most of the rest was pretty cliche. Bloody gore for bloody gore's sake. Ended exactly the way I thought it would. And to all the gods in B movie heaven, a white panel van? Really?

Actors unchallenged by lazy writing, barely make their way through a movie that could have been edited in half, but doing it on a low budget, brings me to a 4.

The fact that this movie was written by the same person who wrote The Canyons starring Lindsay Lohan, speaks volumes. Bret Easton Ellis is an author not a screenwriter. That's why the dialogue is atrocious, the story falls flat, and the actors were given such a bad script that the acting is unconvincing. I'll give the movie 3 stars for the gas station scene because that was the only enjoyable moment of the movie

It got to the stage where I had to make a reference of the point at which something actually happened of any note. It's a 96 minute film and it took 64 minutes before anything remotely worth watching took place. In fact, of the entire runtime there is a sum total of around 1.5 minutes that are worth watching, and they take place in one short scene. How could anyone involved in this have sat through it and not realised how monumentally DULL it is?

And why on earth pay Crispin Glover to play a role in which he doesn't say a single word and is so heavily made-up that it could literally be anyone?

The two stars are solely for the one gory scene, as that is well done.

This movie is not what the marketing shows. It's not a slasher. Having said that, I did enjoy this movie for what it was. Knowing already that it was written by Bret Easton Ellis tells me what I'm in for. It's very atmospheric with A sense of impending dread slowly closing in on the main character. I must admit that this movie is very disjointed. When the final act comes around you will swear you were watching a different movie. For a movie called The Smiley Face Killers, the killers are really only featured in it for the last 20 mins. The ending will leave you with more questions than answers. I recommend if you are into different types of horror other than the constant slasher death type. It's a slow burn 🔥 but the ending was worth it. Plus this movie is SUPER Homo-erotic. A lot of the first couple of acts reminded me of the tone of Nightmare on Elm street 2. There could be a lot to read into between the lines.