La cabaña del bosque

A group of porn filmmakers are systematically attacked by two children on the set of a remote shoot.

We have actress Kristina Klebe here, and a whole lot of unknowns in the woods being preyed upon by "kids" (more like young adults) who think they are Hansel and Gretel. It fails on many levels. The first, and most obvious, was not using kids to play the kids.

The porn aspect is done decently, including a nice parody of the "Big Sausage Pizza" series of films. But I am not really sure why they had to be porn stars. It could have been any random group of people -- the only difference here being that we have a sex scene. But the porn is not central to the plot like (the much better) "One Eyed Monster".

There probably is no reason to see this one. People in the woods getting killed. We have seen this before. Sure, it has a few new angles, and there is a lot of potential for a good Hansel and Gretel story. This just was not the right one.

Gore is only half the reason you buy a ticket to a horror movie, and I think you know where I'm going with this. Sex and nudity is the other half, and just as the rules of cinema dictate, the price you pay for good sex is death. In "Bread Crumbs", directed by Mike Nichols (not the one you're thinking of) sex is on everyone's mind, as the cast of characters is working on a quasi-professional porn shoot. It's "Boogie Nights" meets "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", and the greatest risk of the film might very well be that the sex storyline eclipses the horror. Depending on how much you buy the performances, you may start rooting for fewer scares and more sex (though, sorry to let you down, there's not much of the latter after all).

Horror and Gore

Bread Crumbs' violent peaks are fairly graphic and the suffering of maimed characters is painful enough to watch, so you at least have to give kudos to the creative team's use of the camera and editing. What truly redeems Bread Crumbs is the fact that the film's logic is completely believable, since there is no need for "suspension of disbelief" when you're dealing with a bunch of porn stars, who would probably not make the most educated guesses when it comes to eluding knife-wielding maniacs.

How to Watch It

Bread Crumbs' villains, an homage to Hansel and Gretel, are in the hillbilly horror vein, and thus may need a few drinks to impress. Dan Shaked is a bit green, and not quite up to Deliverance quality, but keep in mind his range may have been purposely limited since he's essentially playing a mentally handicapped maniac with a drawl. If you're a fan of old school horror you may catch some very subtle similarities to a 1970's film called "Girly". Whenever someone says you're playing Cowboys and Indians, it's usually time to take cover!

I normally love cheesy horror but this film was just plain bad, and not bad enough to make good watching. The characters are bland, undeveloped, and the acting is terrible. The plot is slightly different than other horrors, but not interesting enough to make it worth watching for that reason alone, and the filmmakers don't provide any other reason. The pace plods on like a metronome ticking and there are no memorable moments, shocks or build ups that are so integral to the genre.

Skip this one if you're a fan of good horror, with or without cheese, because this one is just plain bland.

doesn't do justice even to b grade horror movies .i was fooled into thinking that the great Mike Nichols had experimented with a different genre but couldn't believe that it was the same after watching the movie.finally came to know through IMDb that this is a completely different guy who had earlier helmed "a dead calling"(i have the misfortune of watching that too)..i think he should write something with his name so that there is no confusion to people...the movies plot was different but handled so poorly that you feel like tearing out your hair especially the wooden performances of the child actors of indeterminate age...my rating of 2 is for the somewhat different plot...but nevertheless its an hour and a half of my life i'm never getting back

BREADCRUMBS is yet ANOTHER slasher-in-the-woods low budget horror flick made with a paucity of imagination or style. It's dull beyond belief, and I'm not going to give the film-makers a break just because they didn't have any money to shoot; the British film-makers behind HAROLD'S GOING STIFF had nothing to work with either and they made a funny, genuinely heartwarming zombie film.

The cartoon credits are the best thing about BREADCRUMBS and it all goes downhill from there. The storyline sees a modern-day Hansel and Gretel lurking in the woods, where they encounter the cast and crew of a porn shoot taking place in an EVIL DEAD-style cabin. What follows is a mildly gruesome slasher flick, with the deaths all happening in the most predictable way imaginable.

The characters are poorly written and unlikeable and most of the plotting in the second half evolves around the most obvious and unworkable twist ever, so I don't know why they even bothered. Needless to say the cast and crew are all sub-par as well, making this a virtually worthless viewing experience.