Cry Havoc

There is a lot that's actually good here so let's do that.

The good:

The Gore: It's good and there's a lot of it.

The Plot: What you do get isn't bad.

The Acting: Minus dubbed Bronzi it's fine

The Bad:

The Plot: Remember how I said what is there is good?

Well there is so little of it that it becomes a massive negative.

It starts with a random kill and the random kills happen at random and do not stop throughout the movie.

You don't get any plot until you finally follow the reporter and then she's immediately thrown away for dubbed porn action scenes.

The Action: So the gore is impressive, but the action is so unserious (especially in comparison to everything else) that it just looks and feels wrong all of the time.

Ultimately the gore is good. But if the plot of your movie is just more meat for your grinder your movie is bad.

There are no characters. Just annoyance that the one the plot centers around isn't one.

Right, so this LOW - go lower than that - budget slasher with a Most Dangerous Game twist does the most it can with what it's got, you gotta give it that much. Lack of funds result in some seriously risible Halloween Store moments, especially in the design of unstoppable, possibly non-human killer Havoc, but those can be overlooked if there's enough cheap thrills to go around. Having a plucky reporter interview the eccentric billionaire who created the murder park (really a clump of bare trees) that Havoc runs amuck in was a wily way to get the backstory told without having to pay for much, too. Said reporter is essayed by Emily Sweet, and she's iffy at best in this, kind of a completely charmless Samara Weaving. Anyway, she eventually teams up with a rogue cop that's wandering around shooting everybody. Robert Bronzi (with a dub job) is the cop and if you've never seen the dude before, the reports are true - he's an astonishing deadringer for late 60's era Charles Bronson. I mean, it's wild. So the vigilante and the Final Girl take on the kooky billionaire and the undead killer and it basically goes how you think it might. It would've been nice to have a more Bronzi-centric story, as he is by far the most intriguing aspect of this whole operation, but I'll take what Bronzi I can get.

The script is loosy goosey and again, it's really cheap. But Bronzi is so weirdly compelling that it's worth it just to gaze upon him. As far as exploitation type kicks go, I can at least report that every female actor in the film under 50 shows their boobs and there are a few solid gore gags (top of head ripped off, jaw removal, manual drill through the throat, etc). Not a great film by any stretch, but if you squint just a little, it's got some good stuff.

Director Rene Perez - who churns this stuff out at an alarming pace - really did put every penny on the screen. It was only like 17 pennies, but still.

Unless the writer and producer IS the Charles Bronson actor under a pseudonym, this looks like a vanity project, yet it's not. I guess the writer director had a wet fantasy to see Charles Bronson take on Jason Voorhees?

A wanna-be big time reporter is invited by one of the top 10 most wanted criminals the FBI to interview him. She accepts and learns Detective John Kimble didn't kill him in 1991 and he's since gone on to make snuff films. His star of his films is a Jason Voorhees rip-off, one whom looks like he made his mask out of the exterior of a baseball then jammed his head in a fishing tackle box. Big Bad Villian Crisp then watches as a voyeur as his Jason called Havok kills a bunch of girls lured in to his neck of the woods with the promise of becoming big time actors, not knowing they're going to be killed.

A very predictable plot happens with the reporter, but it switches focus to a cop looking for his daughter he suspects is in the vicinity. This cop looks like Marty and Doc travelled to the 60s or 70s and brought Charles Bronson with them to star in this movie.... this includes flares and 70s tough guy cop attitude who is the only guy in the world who can shoot straight and hit targets. It would be almost laugh worthy if it wasn't so lame that this guy thinks he's one bad mother trucker and just blows away bad guys with his gun, then slow motion walks away... infact the slow motion use was sickening in this film using it to try and show how bad this guy thinks he is... least it wasn't Rob Zombie introducing his wife's character in every movie he does with a slow motion rock video shoved down your throat because HE thinks she's the most beautiful thing in the world, but it's still pretty bad use of unnecessary slow motion.

Anyway, there's half a decent movie here, then it just goes off the rails and had no idea where it was going trying to get Jaso...Havoc to face off against Charles Bronson, and when it does, it's not worth the effort as it's poorly executed and anti-climactic with a stupid ending leaving you thinking "is that it?" Also leaving many unanswered questions and unresolved characters.... or perhaps the director thought a sequel was going to explain it? Well that's a joke, no one will ever want to see it.

Overall, decently made, but poor directing and writing making it a film no one will ever regret not seeing. Nothing special, no memorable lines, no fun kill or laugh at gore effects even to check out just for that. The movie offers nothing to audiences. I mean, look, it's watachble from start to finish, it's not boring, but I'd most likely say pick something else to watch, it's just one of those typical anticlimactic movies that just kinda abruptly ends suddenly with nothing being resolved.

The movie might not have a good story, but on the other hand it has endless running around in the woods, a ridiculously edgy villain, and a really de-saturated look that gets old quick.

Worst movie I have ever seen. Writing is dreadful. How can people be that stupid??? 6 people firing machine guns at 1 guy and they miss? So funny. The girl reporter was dumb as dogs%#*