Baby on Board

I am a fan of Heather Graham, but this movie .... It is even worse than the universally panned "Say it Isn't So", which, apart from the great Sally Fields was bad even for a straight-to-DVD film. How come HG can't choose a good film ? Fart 'jokes', puke gross-out 'gags' and the like should indicate a bad script. She can be a really great actress when she wishes; does she not wish ? The premise is HG's character ( "character" ) has to market a new perfume designed for pregnant women. The usual tales of unfaithful husbands, pregnancies, and work mishaps ensue for our heroine, the 'best friend', and the inevitable gay friend. Oh dear. I would call it juvenile, but even juveniles would not find anything to take home. I give this a 2 since it has Heather Graham in it. Otherwise it would be in negative numbers.

I just watched this on Nflix, and now I know why I had never heard of this movie before. The atrocities against celluloid started with the opening credits/graphics, and never got any better. I can appreciate low brow humor when it's actually funny, and this just wasn't. I don't mean in an "I don't get it" kind of way, or "eww that's just gross!". I can appreciate gross, obscene, bathroom humor, whatever- when it's done by someone who knows how. All I can say is: Heather, Jerry, John-- why? why??? Never have so many of my favorite actors so completely crushed my hopes for a decent film. If you are in a Clockwork Orange-type situation and someone ties you down, forcing you to watch it, beg for mercy and have them forward to the outtakes. That at least won't make you retch so badly.

I was anticipating this film because of the great cast and the internet preview. This film had the potential to be good...and funny and I tried to really tried to get into it. However, it made me so uncomfortable, I could barely watch it in its entirety. It just kept getting more and more obnoxious and offensive. The jokes were over the top disgusting. It left me feeling like my intelligence and dignity had been compromised. I didn't mind the overused slapstick, but combined with the sick sexual humor I was left wondering "WHY?" Where was the talent? What do they teach in film school these days? In all fairness, I think that Heather Graham did the best she could. She deserves better material. We all do!!

I just don't know what studio people are thinking when agree to make something like this. The general storyline has been done 100 times.. you know, philandering men, women who are insecure, dysfunctional relationships, an upstart in the office waiting for her big break, lots of cursing and bad sex jokes, seductive goldigger wives, divorce court drama, etc.

But this film was even worse than it sounds. I can usually watch almost anything, even total c grade junk. But this looked like even the players were in pain trying to say their lines. Lara Flynn Boyle looked more botoxed out than Joan Rivers, the men in it are all snakes and liars, everyone is cheating on everyone, and not one line is funny. The fart jokes are even horrible (which is pretty hard to screw those up) All in all, this was another horrible waste of perfectly good celluloid. Not sure what Heather Graham was thinking here either, as she has now added to her list of atrocious films.

I wasn't expecting an epic masterpiece - just a fun popcorn film ala "Knocked Up". But I couldn't help but get distracted by how many Asian stereotypes are in this film, from the offensive portrayal of the caretaker at the "Korean handjob house" to the slutty Asian prostitute to the CEO of the Japanese company with the freaking SAMURAI SWORD! I've worked with tons of Japanese business men - I assure you, they do not come dressed ready for battle. I didn't mind the fart/ball/juvenile humor at all, but I just found the writing choice of the Asian characters a bit strange. This movie is going to play like an uncomfortable old timey movie where people are in black face - NOT FUNNY. Not relevant. Not appropriate.