Stan Helsing

This is not a movie that you will find ANY enjoyment in and the lack of humor in a spoof shows that the director/producers/actors were just phoning it in to collect a paycheck. Personally, I was embarrassed for Keenan Thompson and Steve Howey. To take this job without reading the script was definitely a wrong move. And to honestly try to incorporate spoofs of horror movies that others have done better is a real crime. If you see this of your own desire, you can't blame anyone when you want to poke your eyes out afterward. If you want to see funny horror, try anything else but this. In fact, try the movies that this one tries to lampoon. But please, don't waste your time or energy on this. Be forewarned - see at your own peril!

Okay, it is quite horrible. Yet, despite the overall harsh criticisms found on here, it is nothing at all near being one of the worst movies I have ever seen - in my lifetime, this year, or even this month. Bad? Yes indeedy! But God Awful? Not quite(though perhaps closer than I am letting on to). Steve Howey plays Stan Helsing who works at a video store. Halloween night is here and Stan meets up with two incredibly hot girls and his buddy Kenan Thompson(you figure out which one is unlikely to be in that quartet in reality). Thankfully Kenan is there, because he has a few of the few laughs that are in this film(the others belonging to octogenarian and living legend Leslie Nielsen dressed as a hideous barmaid). It seems Stan is destined to live up to his ancestry and slay monsters - what monsters you may ask? Well, ridiculously and inept looking ones NOT from classic horror but from modern "classics"(I shudder even putting THAT in parentheses!) We get Pleatherface with a leaf blower and a line when he no longer has it, "It looks like no one will get blown tonight." Stop your sides from aching now with laughter. We get Chucky looking like a guy with painted x's and o's on his face. A Pinhead double from Hellraiser. Anf let's no forget the Michael Myers, Jason, and Fweddy doubles as well. All of these look so stupid and like someone from a fifth grade art class got to work on their wardrobe and costumes. There are other horror references and a story that defies logic - and explanation here for lack of need. Really, Stan Helsing is like Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Date Movie. It has a few laughs but not enough to even keep this lame crap afloat long at all. The humor is mostly adolescent and sophomoric with at least four references to bathrooms and all that great humor that comes from noises and the other fertile comedic ground that is inherent in feces and urine. Does the movie have any saving graces? Well, Kenan Thompson and good ole Leslie Nielsen are good some of the time. There are a few jokes that land roughly but in place. Then there are the female cast members who for the most part are very, very pleasant to look at like the three gals playing vampire strippers and Diora Baird and Desi Lydic as the two female leads. Neither can really act though Lydic has comedic potential. Baird has some fine assets to keep abreast of nonetheless. If you are looking for clever or witty humor, you must look elsewhere. If you have an IQ near that of a quasi-literate teen - you might think it is totally rad or some such feeling. Phewwww!

Despite some of the other reviews, this film wasn't so bad. Of course it isn't a master piece, but that is never what it set out to be. I don't rate direction, camera angles, and soundtrack. I'm a normal guy who rates a film, Good or Bad.

This film was watchable, not extremely funny, but then again, not extremely terrible.

The jokes are laddish and sometimes silly, but that doesn't make it bad.

If you watch this movie and are just 'going along for the ride' and not going out to criticise, then you will take some enjoyment from this movie.

The plot.....isn't really there....but then again, that isn't the point of the film, it's to make you laugh, which it does in some areas.

Disengage the brain and enjoy. It's worth a watch if you like films like Scary Movie (although, in my view, it isn't as good as the Scary Movie films)

I'm going to say I like it. Don"t get me wrong its a bad movie but it doesn't mean its not enjoyable. Its not to much like Meet the Spartans or date movie were they parody scenes from the movie they parody and make them stupid. They did do that with the monsters by making them look like morons and give them really dumb names but beside that they do have some funny scenes and dialog. And they do try to make the a bit like the people they are base off of. Like when they use their weakness is like what fans made fun of the real people they copied. To defeat Freddy get rid of his glove. Pinhead push the nails in. The mask think with Jason and Myers is not their weakness but it showed how similar they are and that Jason was a ripoff of Myers. Leatherface wait till his chainsaw runs out of gas. And Chucky he is a doll. If you missed that then you have no business making fun of this movie. And the other main characters I thought was a good casting choice and they were really funny. Finally they didn't a a truck load of over the top reality breaking jokes. They have those but its more down played. I'm just saying rethink this one.

You can easily compare this to the greats like Date Movie and Disaster Movie and everything by Aaron Seltzer! Bo Zenga is another addition to the "well it sounded good when we threw it around the idea table" club. Of course how can you expect much when one of his last pictures was the comedic gem Soul Plane. If your one of those people who hate that someone close to you drinks too much get back at them by playing the drinking game to this movie. It's simple the rules are you drink every time something funny actually happens in the film. This film is guaranteed to leave you sober. However i can't guarantee you both won't drink yourself silly to try and forget the movie you just watched.

Bottom Line folks, i wasted an hour and a half of my life so you won't have to.