Stan Helsing

Its rare that I actually despise a movie as much as this one. Now before you say I am coming down too hard on this movie...if you don't believe me just watch it. The movie starts out 'ok' like a decent rip off of Scary Movie; however, it quickly descends into a downward whirlpool of bad acting, poor direction and a plot that makes little sense.

Basically this movie is a spoof on horror movies. There were a few parts where I laughed- near the beginning, but after that it seems as though the film budget ran out of money or something because after the halfway point it completely looses direction. I kept expecting a story to develop or some kind of back history on 'Van Helsing' to appear. It didn't. The characters are poorly written...and even with the comedic assistance of Leslie Neilson it still flops hardcore.

Leslie Neilson must be really hard up for acting spots to have taken a spot in this stinker. My recommendation is that you don't watch this one....in fact don't even rent it. Its really that bad.

You can easily compare this to the greats like Date Movie and Disaster Movie and everything by Aaron Seltzer! Bo Zenga is another addition to the "well it sounded good when we threw it around the idea table" club. Of course how can you expect much when one of his last pictures was the comedic gem Soul Plane. If your one of those people who hate that someone close to you drinks too much get back at them by playing the drinking game to this movie. It's simple the rules are you drink every time something funny actually happens in the film. This film is guaranteed to leave you sober. However i can't guarantee you both won't drink yourself silly to try and forget the movie you just watched.

Bottom Line folks, i wasted an hour and a half of my life so you won't have to.

I think these guys don't even try anymore to make not a funny one, but even watchable movie anymore....

There is no need of spoilers or taking even a deeper look at this ''movie''. There is no plot not script no acting, nothing really present that this would qualify this as an actual movie.

When i sat down to see this movie i knew about what i was going to see. A cheap laugh. But as i realized i noticed that a actually barely smiled during the movie. I spend most of my time looking at my watch wandering when the movie is going to end. Anyway...

One hint to the producers...

STOP MAKING THIS TRASH ANYMORE. I am not an American, but i would personally be very offended if this kind of movies are supposed to reflect the cultural level of young American people.

Stan Helsing, a video clerk for a certain video chain store, is ready for a Halloween party with three of his closest friends. But before the party, he has been asked to deliver a bag full of movies to the store's manager, who lives in a gated community. What lies beyond the gate: karaoke, monsters and gay porn studios. This is going to be a long night.

Let me be blunt, when you tell me a film is coming from the same people, or the same sort of people who brought us "Scary Movie", "Date Movie", "Disaster Movie" and so on... I'm inclined to believe this is one more film that was a waste of time for the actors, a waste of money to make, and a waste of brain cells for anyone who watches it. Mysteriously, despite this bias, I enjoyed "Stan Helsing".

Sure, the humor is juvenile, revolving almost entirely around hookers, strippers, porn and the same gratuitous sex that we've come to expect since at least "American Pie" (you can say such humor dates back at least to "Porky's", but don't tell me that the new wave of it has any wit behind the smut). Somehow, with my mind turned off and my stomach full of Corby's brand whiskey, I found this film humorous and enjoyable from the first five minutes.

It has some disappointments. The monsters are such a minor part of the plot, sadly, and even Leslie Neilson has a role that isn't as funny as it should be. But such simple jokes as the porn title spoofs got me laughing ("Glad He Ate Her"? Classic) and I don't mind a few gorgeous women on my screen from time to time.

But as I say, if you're looking for a clever monster spoof, it's not here. The monsters sing a karaoke song, but their origins are not explained and they have maybe ten to fifteen minutes of screen time, contrary to what it would appear by the cover. But if you like dumb humor, like "Dude, Where's My Car?", this would be worth your time... especially with a friend and a bottle of Feckin Irish whiskey.

This is not a movie that you will find ANY enjoyment in and the lack of humor in a spoof shows that the director/producers/actors were just phoning it in to collect a paycheck. Personally, I was embarrassed for Keenan Thompson and Steve Howey. To take this job without reading the script was definitely a wrong move. And to honestly try to incorporate spoofs of horror movies that others have done better is a real crime. If you see this of your own desire, you can't blame anyone when you want to poke your eyes out afterward. If you want to see funny horror, try anything else but this. In fact, try the movies that this one tries to lampoon. But please, don't waste your time or energy on this. Be forewarned - see at your own peril!