Backwoods

Yes, you've seen this many times before, "Hills Have Eyes" and "Texas Chainsaw" being the obvious models (albeit with a lot less gore). City folk road-trip to the country, are attacked by inbred survivalist-type family, etc. etc. But especially a movie you'd find free on youtube or hulu or whatever, this one is at least fast-paced, adequately acted, and so forth. You will forget it pronto, but you don't be bored, unless you're the kind of person who needs a whole lot of nudity and gore to stay awake.

OK, seriously, I need to include more lines to post this review? Once you see the movie, you'll understand why there isn't a whole lot to say about it.

This movie was absolutely terrifying. I'm sure it'll run through my mind when I drive through some of those back-woods places. The characters were grotesque and I don't think I'll *ever* watch this movie again, but it served its purpose. I don't know whether it was a cold room or getting the bejesus scared out of me, but i shivered quite a bit. Right off hand I'm gonna tell that this movie isn't anything you haven't seen before. It has a typical horror movie set up: a bunch of young people in the woods in the backcountry of some state who run into a bunch of psychos who want to hunt them down and butcher them. If you're thinking " wow, that sounds a lot like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre", well, you'd be thinking right. There's even a gas station scene with a weird creepy hick. But I'm not trying to convey the message that is a Chain saw Massacre rip-off. Texas Chain Saw Massacre was awesome, so I see no problem in people wanting to make more movies like it. But anyways, Backwoods offers nothing new to genre, it's just a plain good ole slice 'em and dice 'em popcorn horror flick. It's not trying to be exceptional, it's just trying be a horror film with enough blood, gore and thrills to suffice any horror fan for the 84 duration time, and in that context, it succeeds.

A team of FBI agents go on retreat in a California forest preserve, playing paintball as a training exercise. But the team is not alone, being surrounded by rednecks, inbreds and survivalists. What could have been harmless fun has now become a lesson in living.

The director of this film apparently grew up in the modern MTV world. He fills his shots with beautiful people and generic rock music. Not that I object to beautiful women or rock music generally, but this Michael Bay style of filming is style over substance, which gives the audience just that: a pretty shell with a hollow, rotten center. This film will be forgotten before it is even done being viewed.

And I know I've complained about his before, but... rednecks and hillbillies? Have we not done this to death? It's bad enough to make yet another movie about this... but then we have to make them all deformed looking? I think I've seen that film enough times. Sure, here we have California instead of the Appalachian Mountains, which is a change of venue... but it's the same old story. Oh, and now it's FBI agents. So, I guess, um, that's different.

No need to give this one a more full review. It's a cheesy knock-off, forgettable film. We get plenty of eye candy from Haylie Duff (but no nudity), but this doesn't really make a film worth owning and maybe not even worth watching. Not a horrible film, mind you, just nothing special.

And no, not horrible for the violence/gore. This movie is just plain horrible because of the acting, directing, cinematography and far-fetched storyline. I strongly DON"T recommend this film to you because: 1: The story line is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Since when has work been playing paintball in the woods?! 2: Furthering my point of ridiculousness, a cult in the woods run by crazy old women. HUH?? 3: The acting is really bad. So bad, it probably would have been better if Paris Hilton was in it. 4: It's predictable to a high level. 5: It doesn't even meet the standards of a B grade movie which it is trying to be.

So don't be fooled by the "Haylie Duff" on the cover because she is probably the only decent actor in the film but she is hardly in it. If you want to see a decent movie about the woods, see "Wrong Turn" which makes a lot more sense and provides a lot more scares than this disaster of a movie.

Okay, the storyline isn't original. We have seen this a hundred times, remember, The Hills and Wrong Turn but what makes this movie worth a look is the fact that it is never boring. From the first moment there is suspense until the end. The other fact is that it isn't that bloody or gory after all. But when the punishment or suffering starts it's pretty well done, the editing and the score makes it all watchable. For the creeps out there, no there is no nudity in this flick not even underwear, what proofs that it's not that necessary as been done in those good old slashers. If you can catch a copy of this one, go watch it you will never be disappointed. If you're into thrillers you could watch it and if you are into horror you could watch it too.